Bank of Gran and Grandad

Thank you Cherrytree that was very kind of you and has made me feel a little bit better.

It would be nice to be able to help financially more though.

Didn’t win the Euro lottery last night

I’m just the opposite to most of you I’ve never helped any of my children, they have done it all themselves, 3 daughters and they all left home at 18 to live with boyfriends. So apart from weddings they haven’t cost anything which is good because they have done it all themselves.

The eldest grandchildren also seem set to do the same, good life choices, good career choices, stable relationships, so we cannot claim to have contributed anything except genes.

I've never paid for a wedding (which I gather is terribly expensive) so in the long run you've probably given as much as me Davidhs you just don't realise it.

Trisher
Oh I think it’s traditional that parents give their daughter a good send off, they weren’t particularly lavish, 100 guests at around £50 each, that was 25 yrs ago, everything seems to have cost less then, or is it that everyone has to spend more.
Looking back even housing seemed so much more affordable, we didn’t think it was cheap at the time, whereas now it is impossible for very many

Granny23 your points about giving them their share of your savings now is very interesting. It's hard to know how much we need to hang onto ourselves for future needs, and how much to give to them now. (Not that we have a huge amount anyway!)

Hope it's alright to continue this Lara!

I feel like gonegirl that it's difficult to know how much we can give away and how much we need to hold onto for our own security.
Since my DM died 10 years ago, I have handed over all that I inherited to my 3 AC at different stages . Not a vast amount but approximately what I now have in capital (not including my flat).

On this thread I think we're 'comparing apples and pears' since some posters can fund school fees and house deposits while others struggle to buy school shoes.
We also have very different concepts of what we actually need for ourselves.

I have seen online calculator tools for people to work out benefit entitlements and wish there were something similar to help me work out what I need and what I could give to the family!

Oh God it never ends! I have one sensible one who we gave a deposit to when he bought house with girlfriend, also paid for all his accommodation up front when he was at university. Then we have "the profligate" broken relationship with mother of his two children, provided deposits for flats for them, deposit for car, helped them out of numerous financial scrapes, help with costs for children.....and on and on it goes. I have a flat in Surrey, about 30 miles away, we are on the edge of London, he lived in that with a mate for a while, whilst in between relationships, gave them "mates rates" He's got his eye on it for the long term, with me as the soft touch landlady and possibly I will do that at some stage in the future. However, it has been let successfully since his departure and as he is now living with a new girlfriend, I'm not going to rush to sign him up as a prospective tenant. Although don't know how current relationship will pan out in the long term because he always jumps in too quickly imo. C'est la vie! can't live their lives for them.

I/we would say a big fat no to any help with paying for weddings, bricks and mortar only and help with children if required. They can pay for their own fripperies.

I meant to add wouldn't compromise our security, we have been lucky to inherit money but want to pass it on to be used wisely rather than frittered.