Face to face is always best, but even then a mess can be made of it! Most of us as GP’s , just care so much about our children and their families, we end up getting it wrong. I heard two years ago, that one of my DIL’s was upset because we’d been saying things out of turn. I think it had been a drip drip situation for what turned out to be about 4 years. Nothing was ever said to us, me and my husband. We said nothing, but just backed right off, and if she talked about a problem, instead of assuming she wanted advice, which is what I’d been doing, I’d just say something like, “ oh yes, that’s difficult, but I’m sure it’ll work itself out”, and left it like that. We love our DIL very much, she was pregnant at the time we heard there had been sensitivities, so we left it. Everything is fine now. We did think our son might notice we were behaving differently, but if he did, he said nothing. We were upset at the time, but it was more important for them to be relaxed and in control of their family. Their children haven’t always been the best behaved, but mum and dad are in charge. We go home afterwards, it’s only they who have to reap what they sew. We assumed if things were really bad, they would be glad of our advice, but so far they’re doing well, and the children are settling. It’s hard, but we are just spectators when it comes to our grandchildren.