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Should I cancel

(76 Posts)
JeannieB44 Sat 28-Dec-19 13:49:00

My husband was due to have a big op on his foot in December so thinking he would be well on the road to mobility I booked to go with a friend to an afternoon tea event with an author we both love. Well the surgery was cancelled and now booked for April and the day he is due home is the day of the afternoon tea. He is going to be brought home by hospital transport and our eldest son will be here to look after him (because of the distance from the hospital he might not be home to late afternoon anyway). Me being me I am feeling guilty already. Am I being selfish by wanting to go ?

grannyactivist Sat 28-Dec-19 13:52:33

Not at all selfish - I would hope that your husband would be urging you to go too. Your son is going to be there to do anything needful and you'll be back before bedtime, so go and enjoy your outing. smile

Then come back on here and tell us all about it!

FarNorth Sat 28-Dec-19 13:53:50

Not selfish.
Enjoy your outing. smile

Buffybee Sat 28-Dec-19 13:54:36

I wouldn't worry about it Jeannie, just go and enjoy your afternoon tea.
Your eldest son will be there to look after him anyway.
What does your husband think?

quizqueen Sat 28-Dec-19 13:55:27

The date of the operation could be cancelled again so you may as well keep to your plans.

ginny Sat 28-Dec-19 13:55:57

Enjoy your outing. I’m sure your son can look after him perfectly well for an hour or two.

Jaycee5 Sat 28-Dec-19 13:59:05

No, it is a one off opportunity and you will spend quite enough time nursing your husband after that. Unless he is really upset at the idea that you won't be there, I would go and enjoy it.

wildswan16 Sat 28-Dec-19 14:27:49

Stick to your plans. He will be looked after by your son and I am sure he would hate to think that he had prevented you from doing something you have been looking forward to.

It is quite possible the timings will change again before April anyway.

cornergran Sat 28-Dec-19 15:48:15

Of course you must go. It will just be an hour or two before you’re home, your son will do anything that needs doing for your husbands comfort. You never know, the surgery date could be changed again.

dahlia Sat 28-Dec-19 15:50:52

Please say you will go, you deserve it and might feel a little resentful if you cancel, faced with a spell of caring for your husband after the op.

BlueBelle Sat 28-Dec-19 15:55:00

Good grief he will have your son there no need to lose your plans there’s plenty more days to spoil and look after him

H1954 Sat 28-Dec-19 16:01:13

Personally, I wouldn't cancel. As someone has already commented, the operation could be cancelled yet again. You should go ahead with your outing and let your son take responsibility for your OH when he gets home. From personal experience of hospital transport, there's no telling what time he will arrive home; might even get too late in the day by which time he will be kept in hospital anyway.

Go, and enjoy it! Have fun!

ladymuck Sat 28-Dec-19 16:05:57

You have nothing to feel guilty about. This is just a set of circumstances outside your control. Surely he wouldn't want you to cancel? If he does, then he is the one who should feel guilty.

Tedber Sat 28-Dec-19 19:05:34

Why are you feeling guilty JeannieB44 It isn't your fault the op has been postponed. You are only out for a few hours in the afternoon. Am sure husband and son will manage fine.

Summerlove Sat 28-Dec-19 19:09:43

You should plan to still go

I’m now curious who the author is!

Septimia Sat 28-Dec-19 20:22:56

I agree with the others. You haven't deliberately arranged your outing for the day your husband is due home, so it's not as if you're neglecting him. You've made sure that he won't be on his own and you won't be missing for long.

Also, as has already been said, things could change again between now and then - the date changed, or he could be let out earlier or later than expected.

Go and enjoy yourself. Nothing to feel guilty about.

Scribbles Sat 28-Dec-19 21:37:09

Go to the event and enjoy it. Your husband will be fine - and he might end up feeling bad if he thought you'd cancelled on his account.

HurdyGurdy Sat 28-Dec-19 22:52:53

If the positions were reversed, how would you feel about your husband going out and leaving you with your son? Would you feel put out and think he should stay at home with you? I'm sure you wouldn't, and would be encouraging your husband to go out and enjoy his nice experience, and come back and tell you all about it over a nice cuppa with your son.

I hope you have a lovely time

JeannieB44 Sat 28-Dec-19 23:21:55

Thank you all for your kind messages, husband is happy for me to go so I will leave plans as they are. Summerlove the author is Jodi Taylor, she has written lots of books the main ones being The Chronicles of St Mary's.

Tangerine Sat 28-Dec-19 23:28:25

I'm glad you're going. Enjoy it!

Summerlove Sun 29-Dec-19 03:33:40

Thank you Jeannie smile I hope you have a wonderful time

vinasol Sun 29-Dec-19 07:16:02

Go and enjoy it!

Daisymae Sun 29-Dec-19 09:13:12

Have a great time. You will have weeks of running around after him!

ayokunmi1 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:15:16

You must go absolutely,the operation might be cancelled as was the case with my friend 3 cancellations before she was finally operated on.
I do hope this will not be the case though
Have fun

chris8888 Sun 29-Dec-19 10:17:40

Go and have a great time, its an afternoon not a 2 week holiday.