Far North and Hithere.
I think you still missed the whole point of my post. My poor mother did not feel strong enough, emotionally or physically, to just "take away my father's keys". The fallout from doing that would have made her life with him sheer hell. Hell...she didn't even have the strength to refuse to be a passenger in the car. If you had known my father, you'd understand why. No, you are right, nobody should be made to feel bad about saving lives. In reality I'm afraid it really is sometimes not that simple when emotions are involved. Yes, of course we knew we had to act. Yes, I DID swing into action after I received her letter for help. No, I didn't get any support from authorities who told me they couldn't act until there was an accident. Yes, I did the right thing by informing the DVLA, having exhausted all possibilities of somebody else in authority having a gentle and quiet word with him. He disregarded anything his family would have to say. Yes, of course I had to do it! BUT ..make no mistake, we DID feel bad. Mentally he crumbled, and was never the same, but in the end it was his decision to hang up his keys when the DVLA wrote to him asking him to attend aan independent medical that he knew he wouldn't pass. The stroke didn't kill him, but his deterioration was marked. However the outcome was "good" and there was obviously relief from mum, but I cannot say, hand on heart, that what I had to do to achieve that outcome (i.e. lie to him) sits completely comfortable with me. There should certainly be more power/support for people put in that position to help steer the inevitable decision in the right direction.
