I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

Tell your MIL to grow up. I would never, under any circumstances let anyone dictate to me what I should or shouldn't do with my child. Nor would I go somewhere with an aggressive dog in the same room. You would have no say over how the dog is controlled if you weren't there.

I’m a Mum of three grown up daughters and have two amazing grandsons. My time with these boys is a privilege for which I’m truly grateful and I absolutely adore them but I don’t think it’s fair of any grandparent to demand their grandchildren, I certainly didn’t hand over mine so they can play Mummies and Daddies.

You're being totally reasonable. I'm a Grandma & can truly say having a young grandchild to stay overnight isn't on my agenda.

Grandma's are very competitive and want to tell all their Granny friends about little ones having overnight stays. I value my sleep! Once the little ones are asleep in bed, there shouldn't be any interaction so what's the point.

The whole joy to me of grandchildren apart from the obvious is that their parents are responsible for the mundane stuff. Having seen my sons tired face on facetime yesterday, having been up for 2 hours at 3am with his 15 month old last night......

Apart from a snappy dog, you're the parent and its your decision. You sound very sensible and reasonable. Well done!

Do NOT leave your precious little one anywhere with an unpredictable dog. And as everyone is pointing out, your MIL has no idea about your baby's needs and routine. Not at all unreasonable to say so directly. Please be firm and clear about this

You are absolutely right. End of conversation!

I agree with Missadventure why would want a one year old who doesn’t know you well staying overnight! Heavens it would be a nightmare,,the woman is an idiot

I love dogs, even the grumpy ones, but I still worry about dogs, unused to children, being near children. And not just the very little kids, I mean primary age children too.
Another concern is people getting a dog, but not thinking things through. For example terriers. Terriers are little and trainable (ideal for a downsized house or flat). But they were bred to hunt rats, they're fearless, Neither attributes mean you want them near children. So if you have grandchildren staying, or hope to have grandchildren, why get a terrier?

I wouldn't even be ok with day trips if they included the dog. Take a hike is putting it nicely.

As someone with an unreasonable and bullying MIL, whom I have tried to placate on many occasions. I have discovered that I would have had an easier time if I had stood my ground.
Give her a choice of accepting YOUR Way or NO Way.
Also stipulate that the dog must be locked up if you are visiting. It is your child.
Bad behaviour whether from pets or people is not acceptable. It will be hard, but will reap rewards in the long term. I got no where with my MIL until I stood up to her.

Can I just add, your sweet darling baby would sense the changed atmosphere, therefore, he might not settle at bedtime, if he's crying a lot due to this said dog would get agitated.
I am fully behind you on this one.
My MIL, I have to say this is many years ago as she has passed a while ago.
But she would just turn up, I would hear the door open & the call of "I've just come for the weekend".
Argh! She thought it was quite alright to just turn up without asking, in fact some times I would return home from shopping & find the front door unlocked, there she would be fussing around in my kitchen.

Hi
i totally agree with you. Dont leave the LO not for a long while pandemic hasnt helped but the dog in my opinion is a problem. You are doing the right thing explain to her but dont give in.

No you're not being unreasonable she is. The dog should be in another room or garden when you visit especially with a young child. It your child not theirs, so they have to abide by your wishes. I had one gc from 10 months, but the other didn't stay until 5 years - it was only when my GC kept asking to stay that the parents agreed. We didn't push and just said whenever you or they are ready thats fine with us. Don't be bullied.

I would never leave my child in a house with an aggressive dog especially one that has already gone to bite them. You are not being unreasonable you are seeing to the safety of your child. Too many children have died bring mauled by family pets

One year old is far too young for sleep-overs, no matter how loving and efficient the grandparents might be.
And then there is the dog, it's a no brainer. You are not being unreasonable. Mother-in-law is.

If you don’t feel comfortable about something don’t go against your natural inclination. I never left my children with anyone for the first 5 years. If someone takes offence it is their problem to solve not yours. Be kind but assertive, It’s your child and your decision

No you are not being unreasonable.

No you're not being unreasonable at all. The poor kid is just one year old and the peak age for getting separation anxiety (that's why they say if you need to use day care, get them used to it by about 8 -10 months or else leave it till nearer 2.

No way are you being unreasonable , it’s you MIL that’s being unreasonable . I have a 7 month old granddaughter I also have a little dog who is extremely docile , but if he were aggressive type dog then no way would I want him in the same room as a baby , not even older children, can’t understand why your MIL doesn’t see this for herself . You stick to your guns on this one along with your husbands support.

You are NOT being unreasonable - the dog is one consideration but it’s not the most important - that is how you feel about it and once you give in to this demand you will be on a slippery slope because the request will come for him to stay for two nights and then it will become a case of having to say no when they want to take him away for a few days. They can form a perfectly good relationship with your son in your presence and I wonder what it is that she wants - maybe she’s the kind of grandma who wants to share secrets with her grandchild - the “don’t tell mummy type” - stick to your position - you’re not excluding her from
normal family interaction And she needs to get used to her place as grandma. I did always love being at my daughter’s at bath time so I could have my share and maybe you could invite her round to do that kind of thing but she needs to realise that she’s not in charge - you are and you sound to be very reasonable.

You’ve got the support from alot of sensible caring people on here. Trust your instincts with your children they are the priority here. And good luck with the MIL X

You are the best judge of what is best for your child. I would not allow it personally. I am also a bit confused - is your MIL single and in a bubble with you? If so fine but if not how can she touch you or your family let alone look after a small person. Just because we are indoors with just one other family group and can’t be seen we are still meant to be socially distancing. I have a number of good friends who are posting pictures of family groups holding children and babies all huddled together - makes me feel sad that I haven’t touched anyone in my family because I am following the rules. Have I got it wrong?

I don't think you are unreasonable. I do however think your MIL is especially with that dog.
I think you should show her all these responses. I have 4 grandchildren. I would however not have a dog because of the children. Dogs do get jealous. Children have been killed by aggresive dogs. You would never forgive yourself. Believe it or not I am a dog lover. However my Grandchildren are always my priority. NEVER TRUST A DOG.
Stick to your instincts. You need to look after your children.

Like everyone else I don't think you are being unreasonable but does he ever stay overnight at your parents? Just wondering if your MIL is jealous. My granddaughter is 3 and was going to have her 1st sleepover as lockdown started. I have had her overnight but at their house, not mine . Stick to your guns he's your baby

It’s your child and up to you but the dog for me would be a deciding factor. I’ve got with me and I did take it personally at first but I’m the mother of sons and always knew I’d take a back seat and accept it now doesn’t even bother me now. And I’m a nursery nurse ha ha! Had enough by Friday!

Not unreasonable at all. I am a passionate lifelong dog lover and a complete advocate of animals and children being brought up together for all the best reasons, but under no circumstances would I have a snappy or aggresive dog within miles of a child. You can have a disaster in seconds - and a life changing injury. If your MiL can't see that then she isn't being responsible and her reaction is unreasonable. I would show her these replies....