Nanny or Grandma

CrochetJo, I understand how you feel. Becoming a grandparent for the first time is exciting, and also a very emotional time, and many of us do like to decide on what we would like to be called by our grandchild. Whatever name you eventually choose, your grandchild will no doubt come up with their own version of it, but it'll be special to you!

I also understand why you may feel a little upset at not being referred to by a particular name, whether it's one you have chosen yourself, or one that your daughter has chosen for you (for now), especially when all of the GPs have their names.

Emotions are obviously running high in your household right now, and your daughter's hormones will be all over the place. Maybe the name you chose simply reminds her of what she called her own GM, who you say she didn't have much of a relationship with. Just give her time, and continue to be the supportive, caring mum that you seem to be. When things settle, and your daughter is in a good mood, I'd just start a light-hearted conversation with her, and ask her, isn't it about time you had a name that you can be referred to as a grandparent? If she really is against 'Nanny', I'm sure you can come up with something else between you ... NanJo, GranJo, GanJo ...? I wouldn't get too worked up about whatever name is chosen, because your lovely little grandchild will eventually choose whatever he/she decides once they begin to talk!

Congratulations on becoming a grandparent, and don't let this little issue spoil what is such a special time for you all!

I would wait a little as others have cautioned, and just enjoy the time you are able to share with them getting to be a new family group. Each to their own, and I would hate to (and I think refused) to be known as Nanny or Nana, so had it been suggested I would just have replied 'anything but that, you choose and let me know?'

I think having said she doesn't like the name, you will have to let it go. She is not calling you anything because she doesn't know what to do. When you are having a quiet moment in a week or two, come up with a list of two or three that you wouldn't mind being called, and ask her to pick one. I think if you insist on referring to yourself as 'Nanny' you will only inflame the situation, and you all have enough to cope with at the moment.

I have never liked the term Nanna, and always wanted to be called Gran. My grandchildren call me that, but my great grandchildren call me Grannie Annie. This started when the foster children my daughter had wanted to call me something, and when my daughter was pregnant with her first son, a friend called me Grannie Annie, so that is what I am to all the DGG and also any foster children my daughter or my grandsons have. My daughter is Nan by her grandchildren, that is what she chose to be known as.

Having read all these comments (some helpful and some quite nasty, I can take constructive criticism but some of the comments were unnecessary) and taken some time to think about it, this is what I think will be best going forward

1) I won't insist on being called Nanny, which I never did in the first place, it was just my preference.
2) I've asked my Husband to stop calling me Nanny.
3) I will wait until my Daughter calls me something (I haven't mentioned it since the baby has been born, the conversation was held when my Daughter told us she was pregnant months ago) and I'll go by that name
4) Or I'll wait until my Granddaughter is old enough to call something

Just one thing to all the ladies who get called Nanny, I don't think its linked to an old goat (smile)

My D calls my father "Fossil". He loves it.

Aww, I do hope you weren’t offended by what I said CrochetJo. It certainly wasn’t my intention, and I apologise if I hurt you in any way. I was simply trying to answer just you ,without being influenced by other posters, and to be as honest as I hope I would be if we were having a coffee together. I wish you and your family well, and hope you get to spend lots of lovely times with your new grandchild, no matter what you are called.

Great Crochetjo I think that's probably for the best right now.
Enjoy the little one. A name for you will no doubt evolve naturally.
It may be something really special.

Sounds like both you and your feelings are being taken for granted and I cannot agree that because your daughter is young and hormonal she should be allowed to run right across your feelings like that. You are supporting her and her boyfriend when all his father wanted was to have rid of the child and not speak to his own son for months. Your daughter needs to realise that you feel excluded and her behaviour is unacceptable. Speak up for yourself or this will continue and your goodwill and good nature will be used and abused ad infinitum. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I see it all the time and have experience of it myself.

Congratulations on the arrival of your Granddaughter!

I can understand you being upset and I really hope you can come to an agreement with your daughter soon.

I’m ‘Nanny’ and I love it. My little GS has added names to distinguish us all, as he has 3 sets of Great grandparents too.
All 5 of us females are called Nanny.

My Ex husbands now ex wife wanted something different and googled ‘Nanny’ in other languages. She settled on Mémé which is French for grandmother.
They split up before GS could talk though

Maybe you and DD could agree on a foreign version?

Why would it matter to your daughter? If you feel there is a valid reason, then pick something else. Otherwise, just refer to yourself by the name you want to be called in front of your grandchild. Incidentally, whatever you are called (a rose by any other name) your granddaughter will definitely know the relationship.

It is so unimportant by what name you are known. She is very young (your daughter) and it is all an emotional time. Does she want both set of gparents to be knows and Grandma and Grandpa? If that is the case go with it.
My mum was always Nanna to my children. When my first gchildren started being born, my daughters said they did not want me confused with her (although she was long dead). So, I have always been Grandma to them all. Been useful, as except for one, all their other g.parents have preferred the title Nana. Where we are both Grandma, no problem as we are known as Grandma.......(our first name), to distinguish us.
Does seem that Nanna is the more usual designation. When I used to take young g.children out - other people always referred to me (talking to them) as ' your nanna'.......caused some confusion.

Well done CrochetJo, that is absolutely the right way to go, and your relationship with your daughter and GD will be all the better for your sensitivity. Enjoy this magical time, they grow up so fast!

Nanny is a goat in my mind try Oma the German for granny . My DH is Opa , the male equivalent , to his grandchildren

Floradora9 My late grandmother used to say exactly that! I don’t like to be called Nanny either so my DGC all call me Grandma