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Heard over the garden fence this summer....

(78 Posts)
MaryTheBookeeper Fri 14-Aug-20 09:28:20

Inspired by a funny MN thread about what you heard over the garden fence during lockdown.

I'll start, I heard a corker: 'It's like a thong - only smaller'. I am confusedhmm at what could be smaller than a thong? grin

What have you heard?

Jane10 Fri 14-Aug-20 09:52:10

It was something I overheard years ago that really stuck in my mind. In the security queue at the airport two American women were complaining about the slow movement as we shuffled towards the Xray machines. One said to the other, 'If you think this is bad just try travelling with a miniature horse.' I longed to butt in and ask about that but, regrettably, didn't.

felice Fri 14-Aug-20 10:15:15

Read about that MN thread in the paper this morning, the one I liked was "don't put the pigs on the trampoline it's too hot" !!!

grannysyb Fri 14-Aug-20 11:10:24

We were sitting in a carvery, and someone on the table behind us said " you now what she's like, she loves having things put up her ar.....!" The comment came from a table of elderly people!

shysal Fri 14-Aug-20 11:34:50

Some time ago, but not during lockdown, I heard the neighbour's gardener shouting to his companion above the noise of machinery that Gemma gives the best blow-job in Oxfordshire! I should add that Gemma is not my neighbour!

Patsytaylor Sat 15-Aug-20 09:40:13

Two overweight people behind me in bus queue discussing family member's food issues and not eating enough fruit and veg. One couldn't understand why there was a problem with fruit intake as a jam donut constitutes one of five a day recommendation.

PamelaJ1 Sat 15-Aug-20 09:46:50

In a queue outside the local pharmacy....
I do find these masks so uncomfortable, I think they would be better with holes for the nose!

Camelotclub Sat 15-Aug-20 09:47:42

Heard at a wedding reception: she kept calling the dog Nigel

Nannan2 Sat 15-Aug-20 10:01:07

These are all greatgringringrin

Totallylost Sat 15-Aug-20 10:05:02

Not sure if this was ever proven, but still makes me laugh

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors’ bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, “Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

EllanVannin Sat 15-Aug-20 10:05:31

Hilarious. So I'm not the only one who catches parts of people's conversations. (Overhears---koff ).

SpringyChicken Sat 15-Aug-20 10:12:47

Heard at the checkout in B and Q - bad tempered mother calling her toddler in a broad local accent 'Get here, Shania'.

aprilgrace Sat 15-Aug-20 10:20:54

I saw a man with a very large tum trying on a Christmas jumper in Primark a few years ago
.”I can’t understand it!” he said to his wife. “ The sleeves are a perfect length but the rest of it’s too short”

Jaxie Sat 15-Aug-20 10:22:15

Wandering in Oxford some years ago: a posh girl in an academic gown declaiming, “... and he absolutely adores me.”

Lexisgranny Sat 15-Aug-20 10:33:08

Overheard many years ago when a mother and her daughter aged about 5-6 were looking at a dress made of seersucker in a shop window.
Mother: I really like that dress, but your Daddy says seersucker looks as if it needs a good ironing.
Daughter (in bored voice): That’s men for you.

SpringyChicken Sat 15-Aug-20 10:38:39

Correction, 'Get 'ere, Shania'.

Disgruntled Sat 15-Aug-20 10:40:04

A rather tense atmosphere at the table next to ours in a posh restaurant. She was heard to say "You never brought me here when we were married!"

cwasin Sat 15-Aug-20 10:43:00

What’s that nut on top of a walnut whip called? (Grin)

spabbygirl Sat 15-Aug-20 10:44:10

Overheard at a car boot sale held to raise funds for a very grand local school' '...its nice to find something to do with all those old ballgowns isn't it?' Not a problem I've had myself, it just showed me how the other half live!!

grandmac Sat 15-Aug-20 10:53:31

Not heard myself but read that someone overheard in a shop changing room, a male voice saying “ You know Sandra I’ve never been entirely satisfied with your nipples“

The mind boggles! Poor Sandra.

grandmac Sat 15-Aug-20 10:55:20

Also heard in a shopping centre “ Tarquin git your arse over ere”

Love it.

janipans Sat 15-Aug-20 11:01:10

My brother had a cat called Willy. After a noisy cat fight one night my brother leapt out of bed, stark naked and rushed into his garden shouting "oi, you! Get off my Willy!"

Katek Sat 15-Aug-20 11:01:26

On a similar note - has anyone read the ‘Overheard in Waitrose’ sites? Hysterical!!

Theoddbird Sat 15-Aug-20 11:08:13

I was passing two people sitting out in the sun. One said to the other 'we had better go in before the viagra wears off'

shysal Sat 15-Aug-20 11:15:09

Overheard yesterday, a little girl telling her mother that 'look, these two snails are moving in together'. I assume they were mating. grin