Am I being overdramatic

TBH, it actually sounds like the dog is an excuse. One or both of the parents don't want their child at your house. Maybe they don't want you alone with the child. But it sounds like every time you come up with a solution, they find another problem.

Has there been tension or disagreements, op? Could there be a reason for them not to trust you with the baby, or is the mum perhaps just not ready to let baby out of her sight, and you're asking too much?

I must say, 3 months is awfully young to be worried about whether he knows you or not.

I do have empathy for the original poster. I also take on board all the posts having concerns about the posters dog.
When my daughter was pregnant for first time I had my dog at home. My daughter had to live with me as she had no place of her own . Before the baby was born I found on internet a C.d. that played all the new baby noises very lifelike
and it had a book with it. The book gave all information about a new baby going into the home where a dog may be.
The last chapter was about the birth and if mum went to hospital the message was to bring the first little change of clothing home and perhaps a nappy (nothing too soiled) and bring it to the dog and introduce the smells as after all this is what animals live by. I done all that, and of course kept playing the baby noises. Once baby came home things were okay, of course baby was never left for one moment in a room alone with the dog which is pure common sense.
I would often do a bottle in the morning for baby and sit and feed her. The dog was allowed to sniff near the baby's feet and when she done that she would just lie down with no problems. Once baby was fed winded and nappy change she went into the pram for a nap and mum was there by that time anyway.
I feel that dogs get such a bad reputation but some owners
take great responsibility to train there animals.

Sadly my daughter moved out after six months because she was housed by council and now she has three children.
The children do not visit my house much because they are not used to being around any animals. Like the original poster I visit them and see them that way.
I was not willing to part with my dog and myself had been brought up with dogs in the home it is part of my life.
Just because you have a dog does not mean you should not have contact with GC.

As each of my grandchildren came into the world my DD's were very specific: their babies were not going to be taken into anyone's home where there was a dog/cat or other pets or where anyone smoked!

I must be awfully slow, but I don’t understand why * Tooyoung* is ‘walking the streets with a sleeping baby’. And what does she mean she ‘walks 40 minutes to their house to get baby’. Does that mean she walks to their house, then they accompany her out for a walk with the baby, maybe with the dog too, as she doesn’t leave the dog because of the separation anxiety?
I’d have thought she could just leave the dog at home while she visits the baby’s house, or am I extra dim today?

I would feel the same as the parents.

I agree with the parents, I wouldn’t want a child near an unstable dog. Imagine even if they did visit with the baby, the dog would be totally stressed in another room. Of course you want to see your grandchild. Couldn’t you arrange to meet in a nearby park or cafe for a short visit, maybe alone without the dog or if necessary with dog on a lead

Lucky girl I don't appreciate your tone and I'm not being a pain

3nanny6
I am a devoted dog lover, trainer and behaviourist so I know exactly how you feel and appreciate your seeing things from both sides

People who are not particularly dog lovers don't always see both sides

Daddima

I must be awfully slow, but I don’t understand why * Tooyoung* is ‘walking the streets with a sleeping baby’. And what does she mean she ‘walks 40 minutes to their house to get baby’. Does that mean she walks to their house, then they accompany her out for a walk with the baby, maybe with the dog too, as she doesn’t leave the dog because of the separation anxiety?
I’d have thought she could just leave the dog at home while she visits the baby’s house, or am I extra dim today?

I don't take dog with me and yes I walk to theirs then we all walk together with baby.
The dogs issues have been resolved they are going on when she had her issues
I hope you understand me now

I have 3 cats that are part of my family and 2 daughters. I get both sides (furparent and hostess)

I understand how people might not want to come to my home as they are not comfortable with my cats. No big deal. We meet somewhere else.

Some guests ask us to put them in a room just in case- we accommodate the request very gladly

Other guests had to be told in a very serious manner to leave the cats alone and if they scratched their son, it was the kid's fault. Cats are not toys and they could leave if they had to be told again

It is about mutual respect of both parties.

Smileless2012

I think you need to read the OP grandtante, she has a large 2 room kennel with heating in her garden, but the parents don't want her dog to have to go outside because they're visiting.

She has also nearly completed second living room so her dog will not be in the same room as the baby, which was originally acceptable to the parents, but is no longer the case.

Anyone would think judging by some of the responses given, that Tooyoungtobe's dog was 'the Hound of the Baskerville's'.

I'm a bit taken aback why people can't read a post and take in the whole context rather than just one bit.

I shall say again I understand where they are coming from but what I am confused/unable to understand is the change in goal posts and I wanted to know if others had encountered the same thing and if so if they could advice.

Any haters need not reply and as for the person who thought I didn't like the responses I was getting hence the reason I was being quiet, just to let you know I don't sit at my computer all day I have other things to do !!!!

Thanks everyone appreciate your thoughts

Smiless2012, thanks

Luckygirl

*What an absolute load of twaddle. The dog will never get used to children if it's never allowed near them.*

Ah yes - let's sacrifice a wee 3 month old in order to train the dog to be used to children. There's a plan. Not a good one; but a plan nevertheless.

Babies and dogs are not usually a good mix
Toddlers and dogs are not a good mix.

Until a child is older and appreciates that most dogs can be unpredictable it's not always good to get them together.
In this case the dog appears to suffer from separation anxiety. That could mean that, if the dog is shut away when the baby visits, the dog could suffer more and may become jealous.
Babies cry, dogs may become anxious.

I wouldn't want to take the risk myself.

I think it would be better if you could see your DGC at their house, OP

I agree Tooyoung some people have not read your posts properly or at all.
I will reiterate, I think you have taken sufficient precautions with your outside kennel to keep both baby and dog safe. I think you need to clarify with your family why this is not enough. In the end though parents must do what they feel is best for their child,

Agree with Callistemon; how many incidents has their been where a young baby or child has been left in the same room with, what was thought to be a docile family dog, only for an horrific attack to occur. Would I want to take the risk? Nope.

Any haters need not reply
A bit strong, OP!

You asked for opinions but, when posters give their opinion which does not coincide with what you think, you call them haters.
So why ask?

They don't want the baby to come to your house.
It's their decision.
You have to accept it and work round that if you want to continue the relationship.

Ps
Are you a new poster?
If so, welcome

Jane10

Or do you insist on having the dog with you when you visit? I'm with the others-their baby their rules.

Jane10 I DO NOT take or do I insist in taking my dogs when I go to see my GS. I just wanted to know if anyone had encountered same thing and how it improved.

I have wrote 3 different times about what I do with myself and my dog but people are just concentrating on the dog bit of the story, I would never ever put my GS in danger and my dog hasn't bitten me or anyone else in her life, as much as I love my dog I would NEVER have a dog that was that unpredictable, and just for the record no one no matter how much they love their dog should trust their dog 100% and a child should never be left in a room alone with a dog.

Poor dog.
Whenever DGS is there, dog is shut in a cage or a kennel.

He'll get even more anxious and jealous.

I would NEVER have a dog that was that unpredictable

Every dog is unpredictable OP. Thats why tragedies happen. Because every owner thinks that their dog is different. And they're really not. Especially where babies and children are around. Anyway, I'm sure you'll do what you think is right and I sincerely hope that things work out.

We had the same problem which.was.made worse by my son's partners mother who.moved from overseas to live with them. It took me twelve months to.bond with him as I.was never allowed to spend much time with him nor alone. We were allowed to walk him in the pram and as I have ill health I struggled. The dogs were always made to to stay outside which of course they didn't like. Don't make waves. I did and we were estranged from them for three months. Their child their rules even though it doesn't always seem fair.

Hi T sounds like you have a decision to make and that is....

The dog or getting to see your grandson.. I know what I would choose.

Try to understand and see it from their side, they rightly so do not want anything to happen to their precious baby.

Personally I am not keen on dogs but if you are it must be difficult for you to even contamplate giving up your dog and I feel for you

But decision time it is my friend

Toyoungtobeadamnedgran: you have offered a separate ‘dog free’ sitting room, which sounds like a good plan. If, of course, someone is very frightened of dogs or really dislikes dogs, then no matter what you do, it won’t be enough, I’m afraid.

We have a lovely, gentle rescue dog but we were very careful who we let her meet initially because we didn’t really know, given her past experiences, what was going on in her little doggy brain!

We have four grandchildren and several young nieces and nephews and our dog has never posed a problem to anyone. However, we kept her on her short ‘indoor’ lead while people and children were visiting, including our family, until we were all sure of how she reacted. If people don’t like or are frightened of dogs, she goes into a locked room with her bed and some treats, until the visitors have gone. Simples!

One of my friends is so terrified of animals, that I have to promise her that our pets are locked into a bedroom before my friend will come to our house, and even then she is nervous, so I’ve taken to meeting her elsewhere - less nerve wracking for us both! ?✅

Rough Collies are so protective of young children they would defend them if they thought they could be harmed. They are wonderful, gentle dogs & I have had several that were rescued. My first one, though, I bought from a breeder after going to see her puppies. She had a 15 month old dog who she didn't want to sell, but during my 2 visits he wouldn't leave my side. I fell in love with him, she eventually agreed, & told me that if anyone attacked my children ( who were very young ) he'd kill them. I began to understand when,on our walks, if one of them rushed ahead & the other lingered behind, he'd position himself between the two so that they were both within sight. As a single parent it was wonderful to see. I don't think he'd have killed for them but he'd certainly have defended them in no uncertain terms.