Miss, Ms or Mrs

The rules I grew up with stated that a widowed woman was still Mrs, but you used her given name when addressing an envelope, not that of her deceased husband. My grandmother went from being Mrs David Surname to Mrs Ella Surname.

A divorced woman was supposed to resume her maiden name, but whether she prefixed it with Mrs or Miss was up to her.

Here in Denmark, we have for the most part stopped writing Hr. (Mr.) and Fru (Mrs) because of the same debate about Mrs or Ms. No-one is ever addressed as Miss (Frk) any more.
We simply address envelopes to A. Jensen or Anne Jensen however well or not we know her, or to the Jensen family if that would do.

In Germany, all adult women are addressed as Frau, whether married or not. In Austria I have heard of 14-15 year old girls being addressed as Fräulein on very formal occasions, such as in a court of law. I think the thought behind it is that as they cannot legally marry at that age saying miss is the obvious choice. I doubt anyone there or in Switzerland would use Fräulein to an older woman.

why didnt you just put her name without the ms/miss ..?

What short memories we all have. Boys used to be addressed in writing as Master + Surname in the days when I was Miss+Surname and my younger sister Miss M Surname.

It made us feel so grown-up.

I have been widowed nearly 17 years but still call myself Mrs. I am not old as I was widowed when I was 45. I hate being classed as single I know technically I am but don't like it. I still wear my wedding ring. When addressing to my niece's always use Ms since they were 16. If someone is divorced or single I use their initial and surname. Never was Master when addressing to a child. Use their first and last name. Once 16 I use Mr.

I am widowed and always refer to myself as Mrs.
I’m definitely not a Miss.

She's lucky she got a card at all!!

To anyone I know I just put first name(s) and surname(s). I’ve done that for a long time now.

I am divorced and refer to myself as Miss. I detest Ms. I have always used my maiden name as well. My children have it as a middle name.

My Swedish daughter in law and son call themselves by her mum’s surname plus my son’s surname. It makes for a long name (won’t fit on their passport!) but I think the Swedes do this as a matter of course. I’m always sad that I’ll never be able to trace my childhood friends because their last names have been obliterated by marriage... they won’t find me either to be fair.

My Daughter combined her Maiden Name with that of her partner, which made a very long Surname indeed. The problem came though when her two children where born, she gave them both three first names, making filling in forms for them quite a problem as there was not space to fit it all into the boxes. When they started School, the teacher advised using a basic shortened version of their Names to make it easier for them to learn, and she agreed to just using DDs first Name, plus her Maiden name, still 15 and 17 letters respectively, but at least half of what it used to be!

I’d have told her where to stick it, she should be grateful that you thought to send her a card. Incidentally I work on the rule, over 25 and not with anyone......Ms.

Well, "Pardon me for not being psychic" should be your equally curt response to her lack of manners. How were you supposed to know? Is she always like this? I wouldn't want someone like this as a friend, frankly. If we can't be kind to each other, etc ...

I get called Mrs here in Wales by NHS sending appointments but it my fathers surname. After my first marriage I reverted to my fathers surname and because my career was based on that surname with my first name, stayed with it.

My brother is married to my SiL sister in law, who does the same, so anything I address to them is;
Lorna Bedford and David Green, etc.

How silly of her - very over the top. Cross her off your list

The whole title thing has turned into a bit of a mine field. I have started just using a whole name without a title if I’m not sure. If my father ever wrote to me from Canada, he would address the envelope to Mrs. and then my husband’s Christian and sur name. It irritated me no end because it made me feel like a chattel. I never mentioned it as I didn’t know him that well. (Long story.). Just for the record, if I was getting married now I would keep my own name.

Is she your friend? she should have felt lucky to get a Christmas card from you and if she has not sent you one then she should have been thinking about getting one in the post to you. Sounds like an ungrateful lady I would cross her off my card lists.

Is it necessary to have to explain to anyone why and who you wish to be referred to as .? your business not their's.

How rude ! I wouldn’t send her another card , that’s for sure. I think it’s awful though how a title for a woman gives her a back story. There should be the same for men , don’t you think?

This comment is not a judgement, nor even my own opinion, but a colleague who was our computer Technician always insisted that "Ms" stood for "miserable"!!!!! Take from that what you will!

I didn’t choose to be widowed. I’m still ‘married’ so I’m sticking to Mrs thank you very much. I’m not at all keen on Ms. (Mzzzz). As for your friend OP, if you write to her again, I’d suggest writing all the options from HRH , Princess, Duchess, Dr etc down to Mrs, Miss or Ms and suggest ‘tick as appropriate’

How sad that she is so easily offended during the season for goodwill. Obviously not a happy lady. I have an elderly distant family member who sends us a card and always addresses it to both of us but using my previous married name - my new husband and I don’t object! It’s send with love and affection and that’s how we receive it.

Mrs is short for Mistress!

My son changed his name to that of his wife when they married. She didn’t want to change her ( much more exotic) surname, so he changed his name, as he believed married people should have the same surname. She now calls herself Mrs Exotic. They have no children ( by choice), but I don’t think that would have made any difference to his decision. His brothers have made more than enough contributions to keep our family name going!

Must admit I'm still writing addresses according to the way I was taught when young. Reading this thread, I think it's about time I got myself up to date and just used initials and surname. Much simpler.

I use Lady of Glencoe on some things now, because it makes my grandchildren laugh after my grandson bought me a teeny square of Scotland! lol. I bought one back for him and we have promised one day we will go together to stand on our squares and wave to one another!! He says he is quite tempted to now call himself Laird!
But anyone questioning a title on a friendly christmas card needs to get their priorities in order, or they may find they aren;t addressed in any way shape or form!

These make great gifts btw lol. www.highlandtitles.com/