Inverted snobbery or just jealousy?

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

Can you imagine what GN would be like if we only had long tendentious discussions on The important things in life. No cakes and ale, nothing funny, nothing that has not come before a committee and been officially considered and countersigned as_important_. No joyful tales, no stories of personal difficulties, where help is needed. No Christmas, no birthdays. It would be a return to the dark days of the Puritan era.

Would we, under those circunstances even have a Gransnet? Or would we all have died of boredom?

As my lovely grandmother used to say there are no pockets in shrouds we came in the same way and we will go out the same way no matter how wealthy we are

Agree

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

I don't take this as meaning it wasn't worthy of discussion, M0nica. Isn't Whitewave just saying it's not something she'd worry about? Neither would I, to be honest.

Gransnet, logically, has to be a microcosm of life. I've been horrified by the occasional replies made to some posters who have asked for advice about problems, but in those same threads there have been a majority of kind responses from people who have compassion, and probably empathy. Sadly there are those who think a harsh answer is what's needed, a 'pull yourself together' solution, and there were also a few posters on here a year or so ago who were spiteful, rude and aggressive, hiding behind their anonymity. Fortunately they don't seem to contribute these days. It would be a pity if anyone stopped posting or didn't ask for advice because of the few - they can always be ignored.

Whitewavemark2 unnecessarily nasty remark, so maybe you’re on the wrong site! I’m pretty sure this forum isn’t about making people feel bad, sad or mad, and your comment covers two out of the three!

Good on them I say! When I got divorced I got myself on the property ladder and renovated a couple of houses to be where I am now. It was hard work, but then I heard others had been saying I cleaned my ex husband when our divorce was settled, to get my home. I didn't even go after his pensions, savings, bonds, etc. I got part of the sale of the house and that was it.
People just can't see others doing well for themselves without the green eyed monster raising it's ugly head.

Skipping through loads of posts I just wanted to add my pen'orth:

I try not to be envious of anyone and I hope no-one is envious of me
There was a time when I got annoyed and perhaps it was jealousy.
My son was clever and after uni he wanted to go into the law but to do so he needed some financial support which we were not in a position to offer. He chose another route and is happy in another profession.
A few years later his cousin was in the same situation but her parents were in a position to help her and she is now a successful lawyer. Fine, except my DM kept on about how clever her DGD was and no mention of the leg up.
Bitter? Moi?

By the way I don't think it is particularly British to rejoice at another's failure. What about schadenfreude? The Germans have a word for it.

I have to say that whitewave and Maggie May have suffered the same judgemental opinions from others. I agree with Maggiemay that the ‘problem’ aired is also not one that would concern me at all.

Nanette1955

Whitewavemark2 unnecessarily nasty remark, so maybe you’re on the wrong site! I’m pretty sure this forum isn’t about making people feel bad, sad or mad, and your comment covers two out of the three!

Give it a rest. We have dealt with this already. Where are you all coming from?

I doubt if many people would worry about is. I do not think the OP is worried particularly, she just noticed people behaving a certain way and wondered how common it is.

Personally I love watching the vagaries of human behaviour and how different people react to different circumstances and puzzling out why. I mean it is the exceptions that catch the eye, not those all doing the same thing.

Urmstongran
How true. I have a friend who was given the house she lives in ( by her father) When he died he left her another house, which she rents out. Then she bought another property and rents that out.
She is an envious person and wants to know the price of everything.
Her un- happiness is caused by a not very good relationship with her children.

Oh yes gt66 i agree with you 100% . I am an observer here, never have and probably never will write with any concerns i might have because of nasty 'whitewavemark2' types i have seen quite often here. Twitter type comments have no place here in my opinion.

The only place that luck comes before work is in the dictionary.

Why are you worrying about this? As long as you have never changed your attitude to her then you are in the clear.
I have suffered at the hands of a much younger SIL and know what your friend feels like. She just needs to know that her close friends are still with her. Hard work brings rewards.

Hard work alone is never enough to guarantee the same level of standard of living for the same effort. How well life treats us has got a lot to do with luck, being in the right place at the right time, who you know, not what you know, whether you receive unearned income such as inheritances, gifts, or lottery winnings, and probably above all else equality of opportunity. We don't all start life from the same starting line. So it stands to reason we are not all going to reach the same finishing line.

While success ( and luck) is something we should be able to celebrate and enjoy, we should spare a thought for those less fortunate. It costs nothing to be tactful and discreet about one's wealth. Having money, and owning expensive material possessions does not automatically make anyone a better person.

I agree with you.

gt66

Whitewavemark2

I’m sure there are more important things in life to worry about.

What a condescending reply! I expect you've made the OP feel really bad!

I'm sick to death of these kind of replies and is why I've never started a thread myself; I've seen so many replies like this from posters asking a perfectly innocent question. I wonder how many other members out there that feel like this?

There is number of them on here who I too have noticed to be condescending gt66. Or if it does not happen in their world it should not happen at all and is questioned whether a thread is genuine and real...they need to get their blinkers off and look not just ahead of them but to look to the side too.

Always good to hear about successes.
Gt66... don't read OPs then.

I am beginning to suspect that there is a small tiresome group of people who are turning into bullies. If you don't feel able to post because you think GN is packed full of unreasonable, unfeeling and brusque people, please feel free to bugger off

My husband añd Ì wòrkd hard and hàve a lovely bungalow by the sea and although not rich we have a nice standard of living. My sister in law visited and said how lucky we are and that some people have all the luck!
Both her and husband have also worked hard but their money went in a pub and in the bookmakers?
I did'nt respond to her remark s but inwardly I was seething!

This is very common with family and friends. I married into a family where one brother in law constantly judged us. He was in a better position than us but how he went about it we no longer have contact with him. Yes he has his wealth and worked hard but he ran rough shod over his mother his whole married life and we can't forgive him for that. I have a friend that puts pointed comments on social media saying you are splashing the cash round aye. I find it distasteful as we saved all our lives to have a good retirement and she didn't. It the nature of people to be jealous and criticise others. Personally I'm whittling my group of friends down to genuine only.

Sally's mum i hear you.

some people are snobs, and seem to think owning more makes them superior.
some people make rude resentful comments about others' lifestyle.
both groups are to be avoided.

and i don't see anything wrong with whitewave's comment.
she is not nasty. leave her alone. you can disagree without being insulting, can't you.

Newatthis.. Its sad people have to make others feel bad for what they've achieved. It's plain and simple Jealousy. They can't match it, so they'd rather look down their noses at them. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and leaves a nasty taste in everyone's mouth, I'd be happy for them, it's lovely they want to share the property with others, I think it's a very generous gesture. It's shallow to become snobby & jealous about someone else's good fortune. Why can't they just be happy for them instead of trying to upset them, it's just plain nasty. Yes I have had this, only over something much smaller, so you can't win. But so what, enjoy it while you can is what I say.