Not invited to wedding

Wow Geekesse thats very harsh. OP is not some random relative or girlfriend who the bride and groom have never met - shes been included in many family events up to this point.

Grannypiper - that's a horrid thing to say.

I can understand why you are not invited as 30 is not a lot of people and I am presuming your husbands ex has been invited as she should as she is the grandparent to the girl. Stop taking it to personally as I am sure it isn't meant to be.

Please don’t make a fuss about not being invited . Even in non-Covid times, there is always someone who doesn’t make the cut, outside Covid it’s usually for numbers or cost reasons. And always someone who decides to take the hump. In our case it was DH’s brother’s MIL. His 2 year old was our sweet bridesmaid. MIL wanted to be invited to see her DGD being bridesmaid, I’d never even met the woman but DH had spent a Christmas with them after his Dad died. SIL blamed me and was off for years!! My Dad, who was forking out, was on our side, needless to say!

My daughter has postponed her wedding which was going to be this Aug (been planned for 2 years) until June 2022, as she is really hoping by then that she can have everyone she wants there and previously invited. It is disappointing it has been moved as they have saved so hard for the event but she would like her day how they planned. All the suppliers have been nice and guaranteed not to up their prices.

It must be disappointing for you but don't take it personally.
Difficult decisions have had to be made due to the restrictions no doubt. Your OH's ex has of course been invited as a blood relative, and may well still have been even if there weren't the restrictions.
Would it be possible to send her a little gift or let her know that even though you were not invited, that you would like to provide her with one of the "Old/new/borrowed/blue" ? Or even give her a gift such as earrings or a bracelet that she can wear on the day so that you feel a part of it all?

Perhaps your partner could just mention to the granddaughter that he realises there are limits on numbers, but that if anything changes or someone else can't make it, you'd dearly love to share that special day with her.

For what it's worth I admire your stance and hope that if it comes to it you are able to do something lovely on the day, and get the opportunity to have a special meal or something with them at a later stage.

Places are limited l am sure under non covid restrictions she would have invited you.Dont let it mar your partners day be fretting about how you feel.Put your feelings to one side and be pleased for him.There will be plenty more other times to celebrate.

What does OP mean, it is not on the Acronym page?

OP = original poster/person who started the thread

My daughter is getting married the weekend after next and my husband of 7 years isn't going. However, it was thoroughly discussed and agreed upon that he would stand down to make room for another family member.
Not good if not discussed and, imo, there needs to be a conversation pretty sharpish.

I would feel hurt if that happened to me

When my stepdaughter was getting married a few years ago (never did take place) she told her dad that I would only be invited to the evening reception

Personally, if my partner received an invite to something and my name wasn't in it, he'd take no notice and take me along anyway.
What can they do once you're there? Kick up a stink and throw you out? Fine, because they would be the ones who look bad and in front of all the other guests.

Also, just though, does grant have a new partner and have they been invited/ excluded?

Flipping predictive text, that should have said...
Also, just thought, does granny have a new partner and have they been invited/excluded?

What a horrible, entitled attitude! You’ve been around for five years and sorry, but she probably doesn’t see you as family.

I would try not to take it personally. ? With the groom having half of the invites that's not many places at all left. With her own grandparents, parents, siblings and spouses, children, best friends etc it will quickly fill up.

You are being unreasonable. It is not about you. Don't make it about you. They will have had to make a lot of difficult choices to keep the numbers down.
Now shoulders back, chin up and move forward.

I think it’s just a matter of numbers. And she’s just been a bit thoughtless not sending a little note in with the invitation.
I’d feel upset if it was me. But times are difficult at the moment.
Don’t take it to heart.

"My partner and I have been together for 5 years and have attended family parties, Christmases together..." - but have you met the said granddaughter when there was not your partner's ex-, around? Maybe she gave her an ultimatum, that if you go, she wouldn't, and she had to make a choice.

Doran

I won't be making an issue I will continue to just smile and get on with it. I'll just make sure I do something brilliant the day with family or friends. Thanks everyone

Doran, that is so good of you and I admire you, but I cannot agree with other posters that you shouldn’t go. You are his partner and where he goes you go. Five year’s for goodness sake. And he is being an Arse if he goes without you. I have been with my Fiancé for nearly two years and neither of us would dream of going to a family ‘do’ without each other and I think that his GD is being rude and heartless. I think that you need to have a talk with your partner as his uncaring attitude does not bode well for the future.

JaneJudge Thank you

Has the GM's partner been invited? Or is it just the biological GPs?

I am wondering if the Grandmother has a new partner and if so have they been invited been invited
Also I think a personal explanation from the granddaughter would have been nice, after all you have been in the family five years, which is a significant amount of time.

What I dont understand is why your partner cant have a discrete word with his AC (parent of GD) and ask tactfully why you weren't on the list? That way an explanation could be provided which wouldn't involve the happy couple but might set your mind at rest. Its easy to inadvertently offend and I am certain they didn't intend to here.