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Not invited to wedding

(112 Posts)
Doran Thu 08-Apr-21 18:16:04

I am feeling very hurt that I've been excluded from the wedding of my partners granddaughter. My partner and I have been together for 5 years and have attended family parties, Christmases together.My partner is invited to the wedding however I am not. I do understand that with covid guests are limited how ever all other grandparents have received their invites. My partner got his addressed just to him. Am I being unreasonable to feel very hurt by this

Blencathra Sun 11-Apr-21 07:08:02

I wouldn’t take it personally. My son has put his wedding off another year if he had gone ahead some family members would have had to be left out - we have more than the permitted numbers just with immediate families.

Shropshirelass Sun 11-Apr-21 10:10:52

I wouldn’t worry about it. It is his grand daughters wedding and they have to limit guests. Just enjoy any photos and do something for yourself on the day.

effalump Sun 11-Apr-21 10:48:00

As has been said previously, numbers are limited. Choosing from Blood relatives and personal friends is going to be a hard enough decision during the current situation. It's time to be gracious and accept that it's the Bride and Groom's day and maybe, if they've been in the unenviable position of having to cancel and re-jig the wedding dates, they've had enough stress to last the next decade or so. Try not to take it too personally and give them your best wishes for the future.

AmberSpyglass Sun 11-Apr-21 15:36:46

Also, what does partner mean in these circumstances? If you live together and fully share your lives it’s one thing, but it’s a little different if you’re just dating essentially.

GagaJo Sun 11-Apr-21 19:27:26

Limited numbers due to covid, you're not a relative and are still fairly new in his life. It wouldn't bother me in the least if this was the case with my partner.

ajswan Sun 11-Apr-21 21:21:26

GagaJo

Limited numbers due to covid, you're not a relative and are still fairly new in his life. It wouldn't bother me in the least if this was the case with my partner.

How is five years fairly new. Limited numbers are not the point as many posters have said. The point is that her partner is going without her which is not on. He should have refused the invitation. AmberSpyglass, exactly, it’s not so bad if they are not living together, but if they are partners that are living together as a couple then they should go together. As I said earlier the partner is an uncaring Arse if he even considers going without her and the GD is uncaring to even think of inviting one without the other.

AmberSpyglass Sun 11-Apr-21 21:23:32

If he misses his gd’s wedding then he’s an arse! No one is obligated to invite anyone to their wedding, particularly if they aren’t close. Not inviting partners isn’t unusual if you’ve got limited numbers. It’s just one of those things.

geekesse Sun 11-Apr-21 22:37:07

ajswan just because someone has been sleeping with Grandpa for a few years does not make her ‘family’ or give her priority over family members if numbers are limited.

The suggestion that Grandpa should refuse to go if he can’t take his girlfriend is the kind of reasoning I’d expect from a moody teenager, not a mature adult. No wonder some families end up falling out or becoming estranged!

GagaJo Sun 11-Apr-21 23:40:17

ajswan, many people his age will have been with their husband or wife for 30 or more years. 5 years is fairly new.
Plus, they're not married. She isn't related to his family. In normal times, yes, she probably would be invited. But now, with such small numbers, the bride and groom have to limit to close relatives. And the grandfathers lady friend isn't a relative.

It is his grand daughter. His relationship with his partner may not be forever, but his grandchildren are. Family first.

Hithere Sun 11-Apr-21 23:59:03

Geekesse

Ditto!

Blencathra Mon 12-Apr-21 06:35:02

Of course he shouldn’t have refused the invitation! These are not normal times - if they were she would have been invited. Tough decisions have to be made with limited numbers.