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People who constantly brag

(102 Posts)
Madwoman11 Wed 14-Apr-21 10:47:26

This is not a major problem but it is becoming slightly annoying.
Someone I cannot avoid just goes on and on about what she is buying for the home, and for herself. Always top of the range things, and this is her whole conversation.
I can't avoid this person, but I am very close to saying something along the lines of " I'm not interested how much your new sofa or car cost, and I'm not impressed by peoples possessions". Or perhaps I should just yawn and say "Really "
Btw I aren't jealous I am financially secure, and have a lovely home myself.

EllanVannin Wed 14-Apr-21 11:41:22

People like that don't bother me at all. I tend to feel sorry for them as they must be lacking something in life to have to brag at all.
Let it go in one ear and out of the other while telling yourself what a poor soul she is.

Soozikinzi Wed 14-Apr-21 11:47:31

I think there are a lot of people like this now especially with Facebook and Instagram it’s kind of encouraged there . I think yawning 🥱 and changing the subject quickly is probably a good idea !

CafeAuLait Wed 14-Apr-21 11:54:20

How well do you know her? I know someone who buys endless stuff with an inheritance from a tragic loss but, if she had the chance, she'd rather have the person and go back to having average finances. If you didn't know her situation you might judge her sudden excess. Keeping busy with home things was a coping thing.

NotSpaghetti Wed 14-Apr-21 11:54:20

My ex next-door-neighbour was like this too.

EllanVannin Wed 14-Apr-21 11:57:14

Spending to excess can mean that there's something emotional going on.

Blossoming Wed 14-Apr-21 11:59:19

It may be she has nothing else happening in her life to talk about. I admit to having been a bit like that when I bought my first house years ago because I was so excited, though I couldn’t actually afford new stuff. Luckily I loved doing up old stuff 🙂. You could try just saying ‘That’s nice” then changing the subject.

EllanVannin Wed 14-Apr-21 12:01:43

I too have a neighbour who delights in bragging but I've got used to her. Must be telling you how much everything cost grin

Calendargirl Wed 14-Apr-21 12:51:34

My sister does not brag about possessions, but about how houseproud she is!

I phone her weekly, we have a nice gossipy chat, but I was informed last week and this how the spring cleaning is going.
Decorating, moving furniture and beds, polishing bathroom tiles, which room is earmarked for which day. Same with the garden, washing the greenhouse windows until they gleam....

She knows I am not so keen on housework, it’s her bit of one upmanship.

Of course, I could just be feeling guilty and know I really ought to get my finger out.....

geekesse Wed 14-Apr-21 12:53:14

Some people define themselves by things, some by lifestyle choices (eg, vegan), or knowledge (going on about TV documentaries and books they have read), and some by their relationships (endless chatter about offspring and grandchildren). Even for ‘things’ people, it’s not always about how expensive purchases are - people who define themselves by things may be just as enthusiastic about getting everything cheaply (‘look at my new x, it only cost 50p at a car boot sale’).

You won’t be able to change the way someone defines him- or herself. But it would be wise to consider that maybe it isn’t bragging, it goes a lot deeper than that, because it’s really about who they are and how they see their place in the world.

Charleygirl5 Wed 14-Apr-21 12:55:28

Or you could say "you have told me this before" and change the subject quickly.

Many years ago I knew a fellow who bragged about his earnings but it came back to bite him when his feckless father rang him wanting a loan which I doubt would never have been repaid. The fellow refused to lend his father anything.

JustMe Wed 14-Apr-21 12:57:32

I know a couple like this... it's embarrassing, the husband is the worst. They always have top of the range cars, tell everybody about them, and he constantly brags he gets massive bonuses and only works a couple of days a month... yeah right...

The trouble is... because of a complicated connection they don't know about, I know they are strapped for money, the cars are leased and it's all nonsense.
I can only presume it makes them feel better to pretend they are rolling in it!

Polarbear2 Wed 14-Apr-21 13:11:58

My OH was like this when we met. His ex had been very money oriented and it was how they talked. I was patient for a while then learned to say great and change the subject. Eventually he got the message.

Purplepixie Wed 14-Apr-21 13:16:27

They don’t bother me but I tend to feel sorry for them as they seem to need to justify themselves and what they own and how much they spend. If you don’t like them then just give them a wide berth.

felice Wed 14-Apr-21 14:42:44

Brits in Belgium,,,,, I have been ignored, patronised, spoken to in words of one syllable, and generally talked down to.
Why,, because I do not work in an office, in the EU or other organisations.
They are always bragging , where they have been, what they have bought etc.
It is mainly Women, some are trailing spouses and no better than anyone else.
I do not rise to them, including apologising for myself which I heard one lovely lady do one day, I was furious.
I tend to bring the conversation round to education, and ask which University they attended etc.
They tend to be a wee bit more polite when they hear my degrees and qualifications but not much.
Stopping now as I am getting wound up ,,,,aaarrrggghh.

FindingNemo15 Wed 14-Apr-21 14:55:03

Slightly different, but also annoying - people bragging about medical conditions. If I had an earache theirs would be worse, if I had two stitches they would have had six, etc. etc.

I try to avoid them at all costs.

Gannygangan Wed 14-Apr-21 15:02:16

People who brag about their possessions/cars/holidays/education bore me rigid.

I just move away.

I think I'll start yawning as I move away now

But I will do my best to avoid them at all costs.

Bridgeit Wed 14-Apr-21 15:03:19

Perhaps when you meet up you could say something like —
Right tell me what you have bought, then we can have a good old chinwag about something else.... good luck!

crazyH Wed 14-Apr-21 15:21:50

FindingNemo - I have a friend like that - lovely woman, but if I have a headache, she has a migraine, if I have a cold, she has a raging fever, if I have knee pain, hers is so bad, she thinks she needs a knee replacement, and so, on it goes. Some people delight in exaggerating their illnesses. Me, I downplay it, because mine can occasionally be embarrassing....asthma and bronchiectasis, which causes me to have constant productive cough. 😫

AGAA4 Wed 14-Apr-21 15:46:42

I feel that people who brag just don't feel good about themselves as they are, so telling people about their expensive purchase, holidays or whatever helps them feel superior. Somehow makes them feel a better person. Insecurity really.

Polarbear2 Wed 14-Apr-21 15:55:50

We call it ‘black catting’. If you’ve seen a black cat they’ve seen one bigger and blacker 😂

Dinahmo Wed 14-Apr-21 16:04:53

I guess they're also people who wear what I call "prat tabs" - logos on their clothing. On holiday a few years ago I was looking in the window of a Dior shop. there was a cardigan with the full name woven down one side. The price was approaching £900 - why would anybody pay to promote a clothing company?

Nannarose Wed 14-Apr-21 16:41:05

I wonder why you can't avoid her?
If she is a close relative, you may have an idea as to why she is like this and see if you can have a conversation around what you think the problem is.
If she's a co-worker, it may be difficult unless you can ask to be moved; but I would certainly want to avoid gossiping to others.
But I think she may be someone in your community or an extended family member that you have to tolerate for others' sake. Could you ask someone close to her to have a word?

One of my friends used to do this a bit; it was insecurity about her own taste - she was really checking in to see if others thought that something was the right thing. I managed to get her out of it (I am at heart very fond of her) by saying things like "well, if you like it / get on well with it / enjoy doing it, that's the main thing". Then I would talk about something I liked.

Santana Wed 14-Apr-21 17:05:26

I worked with a woman some years ago that played the one upmanship game. My friend used to say ' if you've been to Tenerife, she had been to Elevenerife'
I ignored her as I knew her relationship with her mother had been awful, so thought she was damaged by it.
However things hit an all time low for me, high for her, when I returned to work after coming through breast cancer. I was still wobbly emotionally as you would expect, and sporting a crew cut. She decided to share a story about her friend's breast cancer group of four, where she was the only survivor.
I never spoke to her again

Artaylar Wed 14-Apr-21 17:26:24

I can't imagine anything more boring than being in the company of a serial bragger. Its one thing for someone to share their initial excitement over something - whether its a holiday, new car or sofa etc - with friends. Quite another for such things to be the only topics of convo that someone has.

That said, like others have said, it can be a sign of insecurity, or a masking of hidden emotional difficulties/hurts, so I would have some pity for them too.

To the OP, maybe try and steer her onto other topics of conversation and she how she gets on with that. Though if its anything like the experience of Santana with that hideous example of one upmanship, she may be a lost cause.