This also includes lots of characters, so if you want to proceed, grab a cuppa, or glass of something, as this going to be a long read.
I am the eldest daughter of five, to a mother aged 87.
For clarity I shall name the daughters in order of birth.
A. Abbey (me)
B. Brenda (lives with mum in family home)
C. Clare (lives with hubby , but near to Mum)
D. Delia (lives about 120 miles away)
E. Ellen. (Mums youngest and favourite daughter ((though Mum would never admit it)).
In August of last year I received a text to say that Ellen had "borrowed" £46k. from Brenda to pay off massive credit card debts. Brenda earns approx 16K PA, this was her life savings.
Ellen earns £76+ PA from a high powered job, but is a massive spendthrift, and has now a debt of about 85K, (after Brenda's loan!) but not including her mortgage -Ellen is mortgaged to the hilt.
Ellen is still spending, but buying "bargains" for Mum And Brenda, which they pay Ellen in full for.
They range from £275 for a beautiful ball gown bargain for Brenda (who does not have a ball gown lifestyle, but loves sparkly stuff) to £140, last month alone, for some reduced supermarket bargains - in a household of 2 people. 90% of which is binned.
Mum has a full size larder freezer and a separate larder fridge. They are packed to the gunnels with bargains, supplied by Ellen.
I believe Ellen is a shopaholic, and having had a spending limit imposed by Delia (who has overseen her finances) is still pandering to her addiction, but Mum and Brenda are paying for it.
Mum will not have a word said against Ellen.
Brenda is an absolute sweetie who will not criticize anyone, but even now she is starting to get sick of the stuff coming into the house.
It is also worth noting Ellen has become hooked on internet auction sites. Buying utter crap, and trying to sell it on, mostly at a loss.
As with other family members I have financially contributed to reducing Ellen's debts.
But I think unless Ellen gets professional help we are on a hiding to nothing.
We cannot tell Mum about Ellen's situation, as we have no doubt than Mum would give her all her life savings - which Brenda is set to inherit (including the house, which Brenda shares with Mum).
I am seeing Mum tomorrow.
Is there a diplomatic way of letting her know her favourite is, quite frankly, a sh*t.,as I cannot spill the beans , obviously.
Because I am sick of listening to Mum's exhortations about what a success Ellen is making of her life.
Anyone else know of a wrong 'un and how to handle it?
Meg54 Mon 21-Jun-21 18:50:38
Madgran77 Mon 21-Jun-21 19:08:36
Mattsmum2 Mon 21-Jun-21 19:17:27
Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 19:18:43
Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 19:20:43
CanadianGran Mon 21-Jun-21 19:24:19
ElaineI Mon 21-Jun-21 19:26:50
Perdido Mon 21-Jun-21 19:35:32
BlueBelle Mon 21-Jun-21 19:45:25
Lollin Mon 21-Jun-21 19:49:01
DiscoDancer1975 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:01:13
Meg54 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:06:31
M0nica Mon 21-Jun-21 20:22:01
Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 20:38:20
Meg54 Mon 21-Jun-21 20:39:37
Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 20:45:36
M0nica Mon 21-Jun-21 21:04:04
Mattsmum2 Mon 21-Jun-21 21:08:40
Meg54 Mon 21-Jun-21 21:38:43
Madgran77 Mon 21-Jun-21 21:51:21
Fairyfootsteps Mon 21-Jun-21 22:11:33
Hithere Mon 21-Jun-21 22:27:42
FarNorth Mon 21-Jun-21 23:11:23
welbeck Tue 22-Jun-21 01:57:59
Smurf52 Tue 22-Jun-21 02:12:15