A parent without parents seeking advice please

*Skydancer, the main cause of population growth is no longer the number of children being born. About 65% of the countries in the world now have birthrates around replacement rate or even lowe.

What is causing the current growth is at the the other end of life, where more and more people are living much longer than they did. Everywhere in the world the children of the WW2 and now early Baby boomer generations are living to a greater ages.

When I was a child, to die in your 70s was considered normal and to get over 80 was commendable. Now, look in any newspaper at death announcements, or read obituaries and more and more of us are living into our 90s and the growth in the number of centenarians has gone through the roof!

I agree about the old people, M0nica. So many kept alive artificially. I know I'll soon be one but it isn't as nature intended is it.

Skydancer what makes you think old people are being kept alive artificially? Older people are healthier and fitter than all previous generations. It is now not even news if a person in their 90s live independently, does all their own shopping and looks after themselves. Many of them with only the most trivial of health problems - high blood pressure and high cholestrol, but nothing more.

My father lived until he was 92 and until the last three months was a key member of three local organisations, organising outings, keeping the books and Master of Ceremonies for all weddings and funerals at his church. His youngest sister is now in her mid-90s and living a similar life. We have neighbours well into their 90s and still hale and hearty.

People may live longer now but many of those additional years are often spent in ill health. This from a report by Age Concern:

"*People living longer, but not necessarily in good health*
But it is not all positive news, as less than a third of people are going to reach 65 in a healthy state, according to a discussion at the International Longevity Centre.

"Gains in life expectancy have outstripped gains in healthy life expectancy, it claims, meaning more than two thirds of people in the UK could spend their retirement years in ill-health."

Most of the older people I know (and many of them significantly younger than me) have or have had various health issues: replacement hips/knees, osteoporosis, anxiety/depression, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, obesity, type 2 diabetes, etc, etc, etc.

Most of my older relatives lived to their mid-70s. My grandma and grandpa lived to their mid/late 70's but until my grandpa got cancer he had been very fit and on no medication. I don't remember my grandma ever being ill until she had a stroke in her late 70's and died within weeks. My other granny died in her early 60's of what we think was a brain aneurism but my granddad died at the age of 97 (his son at 97 and his daughter at 99) and rode his bike well into his 80s.

The report says less than a third of people will, at the age of 65, be in good health. I think that is pretty awful. I believe the modern thinking that a regime of pills can sort everything out is misguided, but a huge bonus for drug companies. People need to eat more healthily and get more fresh air and exercise. The proliferation and marketing of processed food, people driving rather than walking, doing sedentary jobs and having sedentary pastimes has seriously affected the health of our population. Poverty and poor housing also has a major impact on health, and both are on the rise.

It's not a great deal of fun living longer if you are in constant pain or have problems with mobility.

BJC88, we had four (two of each) although not exactly planned, they were welcomed - and we were very glad we did. They are all great friends and support for each other as adults.

I sought advice from friends, not family members anyway. Before I'm slated for overpopulating the planet - my brother had none!

I have three, and both my daughters have three.
Our third was ver much planned having had the other two when we were very young, I think we wanted a baby we could enjoy without money worries.
She was a joy, she was/is a lovely girl, her childhood was a wonderful time, but at sixteen she started making bad choices, and at thirty is back home living with us, with her three children. That is something we never bargained for!
I don’t think three is a good number, it changes the whole dynamic of the family, which with us has gone into adulthood.
Both my youngest grandchildren are adorable and much loved, but everything changes with the third, bigger house, bigger car, dragging the little one around to the older children’s activities, older ones inevitably taking some responsibility for the little one.
As for family support, you can never really depend on it anyway, you need to be really sure you can manage.

Eloethan the definition of ill health seems to be defined as having a condition that needs medication. It includes people with high blood pressure, high cholestrol, and other 'illnesses' that have few, if any symptoms and, once medication is taken have little or no effect on how they lead their lives.

There are a lot of people going into retirement with conditions like migraine, that they may have had since childhood. It seems to me that the definition of ill health is too widely drawn. it should be limited to when any medical problem starts to put some restrictions on you leading your life, causing chronic pain or difficulty moving or thinking.