Cremation that no-one attends

My mum passed away in May aged 90 and always said that she didn’t want any fuss when passed away. No one getting drunk in the pub afterwards or people turning up that she hadn’t seen for years. I was her only surviving child and all her siblings had already passed away so I did as she asked and arranged a cremation without a service. I did go to the crematorium and placed flowers on her coffin. Two of her great grandchildren turned up and that was it. I feel I carried out her wishes and remember her in my own way every day.

Forgot to mention that I have chosen a private cremation and the ashes will be brought back to my family and they will scatter them over a pond where I live and where my husband's ashes are scattered.

David Bowie chose a no-frills direct cremation for personal reasons. But his decision reportedly boosted direct cremation by up to 400% in the months following his death.

I have also chosen this, as has my husband. We would much rather my children have the thousands of pounds to do what they want with, (maybe a holiday) than line the pockets of some random undertaking firm! Funerals are dire occasions and no way do I want to put my remaining family through that rigmarole! We have requested that our ashes are scattered together somewhere, so whoever goes first will have to wait in an urn! We just haven't decided where yet! We feel quite strongly about this and my children are happy to go along with our wishes

I have chosen to do a no service cremation when my time comes. I have spoken to all three of my sons about just getting my ashes and taking them to south west coast to scatter them. I am not religious and don't see the point of people coming to say bye to me when they can't be bothered while I'm alive. My sons are sentimental so don't need theservice to remember me

That's what DH and myself have opted for, you aren't attending after all so does it really matter, l have spoken to my DC about it and let them know where we would like to be scattered I funerals these days they're like conveyor belts, one out, one in and one waiting, all for about 20 to 30 minutes, what a waste of money

We had a Direct Cremation for my father back in May. mainly because my mother could not cope with seeing his coffin being taken away to be cremated. All 4 children were more than happy to go along with this. It was also very much cheaper.

We have his ashes. Some will be scattered at Lord's Cricket Ground where he was a member, and the rest back in Australia when we're able to travel again.

I’m am all for this. I don’t want the fuss or expensive when I go ,

As a psychotherapist with a specialism in bereavement and loss I know that a lot more people than we might think would like the simple cremation because the idea of a funeral is too stressful for them. Funerals are part of our death rituals but can be overwhelming and that's why the 'simple cremation' is now offered with the opportunity for nobody at all to be present. It's down to personal choice. What has emerged over the pandemic is that whereas in the early months people were grieving not only the loss of their loved one but their inability to hold a funeral with a full compliment of relatives and friends, now there are a lot of people who are glad that they were forced by covid restrictions to keep funerals fairly private and in some cases didn't have them at all.

I've booked and paid for a simple cremation. If the family want something different for me then they will have to pay for it!! My intention is to leave them some cash for a wake, celebration or whatever you want to call it to have as and when they choose. Should I actually know when I am likely to die, then I will have the wake beforehand so that I can go too. Don't like to miss out on a party if I can go.

I have informed my husband that when my time comes, I want a fuss-free cremation, just like Doris Day, David Bowie, Victoria Wood, et al. Our only child lives in Australia with her children, and I would rather the money that can amount to thousands for a full on funeral, be given to them to enjoy. I know everyone’s different, but some of the funerals I’ve attended are ridiculously expensive, what with horses, enough flowers to keep the local florist in business for months, all for what???

My husband and I have both pre-paid for a simple direct cremation. They come and collect the body, cremate it, and return the ashes within a few days to a designated relative. The family can do whatever they wish with the ashes then. Have a little ceremony, scatter them, bury them in the garden etc. Or keep them on the mantelpiece in a pretty urn. Great idea. And a huge money saver.

i have opted for direct cremation, paid for, no expense for my family, ashes returned if wanted, celebrate how they want.

I agree with Grandmattie. I have written into my Will that I want a direct cremation. My body will go directly from the funeral parlour to the crematorium. No one will be in attendance and my daughter will be given my ashes for her to scatter at a later date. I have also stipulated in my Will that my family and friends should hold a party with plenty of popping corks!

Athenia, I send you sincere condolences. I do note that he was you ex, however this fact is perhaps not material to your feelings.

missdeke
Should I actually know when I am likely to die, then I will have the wake beforehand so that I can go too. Don't like to miss out on a party if I can go.

missdeke
Should I actually know when I am likely to die, then I will have the wake beforehand so that I can go too. Don't like to miss out on a party if I can go

I saw a terminally ill young woman being interviewed last week who decided to do just that. She arranged a big party for her family and friends and named it “Wake me up before you go-go”

She was exhausted after it but happy that she’d shared a joyous occasion with her family and made happy memories for her children.

My sister has chosen to do this and then just wants her ashes scattered at her chosen place by me, well if I'm still here. There is only the two of us left out of our family now, although we do have a lot of friends, but she has always wanted this, just quiet and no fuss.

I don't want anyone at my cremation. My family have been asked to scatter my ashes at my favourite beach. No funeral no fuss and as little expense as possible.

I have chosen Direct Cremation .This was decided having read the poem that starts Do not stand at my grave and weep.

My husband and I have chosen to do this, the family all know and they can have a bit of do if they want at some point.

Twenty six years on I am still distressed by what happened to my brother. He died in Boston just before a cancer operation. He had struggled for most of his life with a severe heart condition and now here he was dying of a heart attack while being given the anaesthetic for a cancer op.

His ( mean) wife maintained that he didn't want to have a funeral so his body was literally disposed of like a bag of rubbish.

She later organised a memorial service for him in New York and didn't invite me or our sister. The loss of my brother was a terrible blow to me as he had looked after me so well as a child when our mother wasn't able to. He was my rock.

I would chose this as an option, not religious so would not want a ceremony, everyone could have a party to celebrate my existence

This concept is an "unattended cremation". (Lots of information about this is available online, albeit via different funeral companies.) We are having this for an elderly family member who died recently. Our (quite small) family will be gathering together for a "celebration of life", later on.

Decided many years ago that I did not want a funeral and have told all concerned about this. Not interested in any sort of after 'celebration' either. I've always thought of funerals as being a torture for those left behind and would never want to impose that on loved ones.

That’s definitely for me, just as Lady Stardust said! I’ve always found funerals such an ordeal and often wished I’d had the courage to not go. I recognise they’re an important ritual for some but definitely not for me