Bragging - what is it?

I take bragging to mean going on about something you are your family possess or have achieved, in a boastful unpleasant way,to try to make others look less - a very nasty trait I'd say, and doesn't impress sensible folk anyway

tictacnana - please could you ask your in-laws on 'who the right people are' I would love to gain a doctorate by just knowing who they are - do you think that asking them to 'friend' me on Facebook would suffice - the right people that is! Unigran4 can I be on your Christmas card list - the last handwritten letter I received was from the Tooth Fairy - how lovely that you do this, sure beats the hell out of a round robin.

montymops

Actually I like the round robins at Christmas. None of them are boasting about anything- they just say things as they are - the good and the bad - often the humorous. They come from many old friends that I haven’t seen for ages so I find it so good to catch up on news.

You obviously have very good friends Monty pops. I usually get that kind of message via email. I like to hear what my friends and their children are up to. I write them myself. I think that is friendship.
The RoundRobins we often used to get, less so now, were very impersonal and the same sent to many people so they never really asked you anything or were interested in you. At the end, they say something like "Hope you are all well".
I was once so cross with one we received I wrote a counter one back turning everything negative,dd is onto her sixth husband and now has 12 children etc., luckily DH pointed out how silly I was being and I never sent it.

Actually I like the round robins at Christmas. None of them are boasting about anything- they just say things as they are - the good and the bad - often the humorous. They come from many old friends that I haven’t seen for ages so I find it so good to catch up on news.

FindingNemo15

One up man ship.
Keeping up with the Jones's?
The me, me, me brigade!

LauraN. Red Robins are lovely!

The flip side of this would be people who sneer at any good news, achievements etc you tell them as if you are the greatest braggart on the planet.

Having to listen to someone telling you what they are going to buy, how expensive it will be and saying bet you would like one, in my opinion is bragging.

Yammy

A personal handwritten note tailored to the recipient isn't bragging, it's showing a bit of warmth and that you remember people. Mentioning a few things your family has done isn't either.
The Round Robins were usually generic and photocopied and if you were lucky your name was handwritten on the top.

It’s the only time I hear from a couple of ‘friends’ now. Every year I wonder why I’m bothering even sending a C’mas card but I realise I’m still interested in them and their families so carry on. I used to hear more from them when we kept in touch via snail mail!

One up man ship.
Keeping up with the Jones's?
The me, me, me brigade!

LauraN. Red Robins are lovely!

Braggy nothing to do with Melvyn

Agree with the others Unigran, your personal notes sound lovely.
Red Robin’s are usually very Bragg.
Tarquinius was the first in his class as usual and darling Petunia enthralled all of Woopwoop with her rendition of… blah blah blah

No Unigran, it's lovely.

A personal handwritten note tailored to the recipient isn't bragging, it's showing a bit of warmth and that you remember people. Mentioning a few things your family has done isn't either.
The Round Robins were usually generic and photocopied and if you were lucky your name was handwritten on the top.

Oh help! I send an individually handwritten letter in all of my Christmas cards, tailored to the recipient(s). I ask after their OH, their DC and their DGC by name. I do add a little of my news e.g eldest g/d now married, eldest g/s away at College etc but no more than that.

Is this a Round Robin, and would you laugh at it and consign it to the bin?

If so, I will cancel the order for Christmas writing paper!

Round Robin letters at Christmas tend to be the ultimate in bragging. Who knew there were so many talented children/grandchildren there were who seemed to achieve ten A levels by the age of ten, grade eight on at least four instruments by the age of eight and be sports stars into the bargain. If girls, they were spotted by modelling agents and all were generous donors to charity by various activities. The adults also had amazing holidays given in each excruciating detail and they never had colds - they were all in the Lancet for their rare diseases, again described in horrible detail. Thankfully, the fashion for these letters seem to be dying out now.

Irismarle

Those round robin letters some people send at Christmas are often subtle bragging. But we have actually had quite a laugh at some of them.

Some of them are in a class of their own!

My sister in law bragged to me that her daughter threw away any food left in her freezer or cupboards EVERY week, sometimes to the value of over£300. I told her that I was extremely disappointed in my niece as I hadn’t imagined she was so stupid. My SIL was quite taken aback. When my daughter got her doctorate at quite s young age both my SIL and sister said that ANYONE could gain that qualification if they knew the right people ! It smacked of jealousy so I didn’t mind... really. ?

Those who’ve said, saying it once isn’t bragging, thank heavens for that. We had the bathroom renewed but that’s not bragging. Must remember not to elaborate on the detail in future so I won’t mention the frog on the toilet seat and the exquisite design on the tiles and the jacuzzi bath.

And here was I thinking that bragging and boasting were too words for the same thing.

And that they both meant telling everyone how clever you are at something, or how much money your new car, sofa or whatever cost - adding "We can well afford it, of course."

Just being happpy about a new kitchen or anything else surely isn't bragging!

This was considered rude and uncouth at one time. Unfortunately it seems to have become socially accepted to brag to show off , to try and make others feel as if they aren' t as rich etc. Personally I find it very distasteful.

Sharing joy and pride - OK. Pointing out how much better you and yours are than... XYZ - bragging.

We get the Christmas round, Robins, as well and have a good laugh.
Usually, the grown-up children's names have been changed to pet names so you don't know who they are talking about. One has been married and had a reception in a yurt or a teepee. Or a younger one has gone to an upmarket school but you only get the initials so you're not sure where.
A daughter has usually produced a potential genius and you get all the Gyni details lovely with Christmas pudding.

Irismarle

Those round robin letters some people send at Christmas are often subtle bragging. But we have actually had quite a laugh at some of them.

Loathe those. We call them a boast through the post.

Sheilasue

Show offs as my mother called them.

I agree my mum knew someone who only went to Port Ugal on holiday every year announced loudly in the newsagents. It was only when we talked about it we realised she meant Portugal. Everyone else was going to Blackpool or Butlins.
"Friends" tell you they have a new kitchen fare enough, then you get the, price, the company [always upmarket} the marble worktops specially sourced from some obscure country and the outer Mongolian sheep's skin the chairs are covered in.
When we moved quite a few years ago now, we changed the kitchen. When someone who is a constant bragger came, she asked where the kitchen was from I replied B&Q and got an hysterical laugh she didn't know if I was joking.
The yummy mummy car I was accused of having is still with us as well 14 years on.

There is a bragging exercise for singers and actors which is really useful for building up confidence and controlling nerves, but bragging outside of that is a distinct no no.
When I’m driving to sing somewhere, I sing ‘I’m practically perfect” in the car, but I have the butterflies in the stomach…

I once went to dinner at a womans house. I didn't know her but our husbands were friendly. She took me on a tour of her very fussy house and told me what every item cost! I hated the decor and all the ornaments. The most ridiculous thing was a huge flower display that lay flat on the coffee table. It meant we had nowhere to set our cups! She was a bragger definitely.