Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Advice please re a Covid problem

(151 Posts)
Kate22 Wed 22-Dec-21 19:51:29

Hi Everyone,
I’d be glad of your advice/opinions, please.
My husband’s daughter lives in London and has just tested positive for COVID. My husband is driving down to pick her up on Xmas eve - a 3 hour journey and take her to her mother’s home ( the next village to us) so she can spend Christmas with them. Understandably my husband doesn’t want to think of her spending Christmas alone in isolation. On Christmas Day my four children ( all of whom incidentally work for the NHS) plus two grandchildren are coming for Xmas and Boxing Day . I am very unhappy that my husband is knowingly putting us all at risk by being in such close contact with a positive case. I have worked hard to remain calm although I am inwardly seething but have said that if my children knew they would ( rightly in my opinion) refuse to come at Christmas. They cannot knowingly compromise the health of their patients . I feel
I cannot keep something so serious from them. My husband has agreed , albeit absolutely furiously, to go and stay in a hotel over Christmas once he’s dropped his daughter off. I’m perfectly happy for him to do this but I wondered what others thought and if anyone could suggest a better solution! Incidentally he was meant to be spending part of Christmas Day with his elderly parents but doesn’t want to put them at risk .

Shandy57 Wed 22-Dec-21 19:55:38

Why can't the mother make arrangements to collect their daughter?

MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 19:59:19

It would just be absolutely the worst time of the year, should any of your family catch it and unknowingly pass it on at work.
Hopefully someone will come up with an inventive solution, but I can't think of one.
Incidentally, I think you have done the right thing.
It could impact so many people.

MayBeMaw Wed 22-Dec-21 19:59:39

If she has tested positive is she not required to self-isolate for 7 (poor or is it still 10) days?
That does not include being driven to anybody else’s house.

MayBeMaw Wed 22-Dec-21 20:02:21

Understandably my husband doesn’t want to think of her spending Christmas alone in isolation
I thought being alone without contact with anybody else was precisely the definition of isolation - how would you or yourOH define it?

Mattsmum2 Wed 22-Dec-21 20:09:51

I’m afraid his daughter must isolate for at least 7 days. If I was positive even if I were alone I would rather stay away from everyone, even in Christmas Day. It’s about protecting people.

GagaJo Wed 22-Dec-21 20:17:42

He's almost definitely going to get it from her. 3 hours in a car with what is in all likelihood Omicron Covid, which is highly contagious. He'll be putting hotel staff at risk and will in all probability end up having to isolate there with covid himself. Is he aware of that?

Not your fault of course. Stupid man!

Calistemon Wed 22-Dec-21 20:21:26


If she has tested positive is she not required to self-isolate for 7 (poor or is it still 10) days?
That does not include being driven to anybody else’s house.


Isolation for 10 days (or is it reduced now to 7 days if fully vaccinated?).

What part of I S O L A T I O N do people not understand?


MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 20:22:20

Omicroms main mutation is the speed at which it spreads.
Even if people arent being hospitalised with it, it means time off work, with all the associated problems.
It was a on the news this evening that cases of hospitalizations is going up fairly quickly.

MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 20:23:53

That meant something when I wrote it. blush
I can't put a sentence together these days. sad

Oldbat1 Wed 22-Dec-21 20:25:53

Why do folk think they are so special and entitled to different rules. I am saddened and upset to read this. Self self self.

BlueBelle Wed 22-Dec-21 20:28:20

The daughter HAS to be alone for 7 days however much your husband wants her to be with someone for Christmas its only another day for goodness sake My grandson had to stay on his own in one room for 10 days in the summer, no cooking facilities and no human contact, and very very ill
Why can’t your husband stay with the daughter and keep her company she shouldn’t be travelling to her mothers as she ll be putting them in firing line
He should be telling her to stay put with or without him being with her
She should not be travelling anywhere

Peasblossom Wed 22-Dec-21 20:31:03

Oh great.

One infected person is going to infect her father, her mother, her mothers partner and anybody else who might be there.

Is your husband coming home after a couple of days in the hotel? You realise he will infect you too.

He must absolutely not go near his elderly parents for at least five days.

I can’t actually believe the stupidit

MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 20:33:13

What does the girls mum have to say about all this?

25Avalon Wed 22-Dec-21 20:39:40

Great go and spread it so we can all be in lockdown for New Year.

MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 20:41:46

This kind of thing does make it difficult to be so mindful of the rules and the reasons, because you end up wondering what is the bloody point?

GG65 Wed 22-Dec-21 20:44:28

The best solution would be for his daughter to remain in isolation over Christmas. She shouldn’t be travelling anywhere.

If she is not prepared to do that, and her mum is happy to risk catching COVID, then her mum needs to pick her up.

Failing that, if your husband is insistent on collecting his daughter, then he needs to stay in a hotel for whatever the isolation period is.

I can’t believe he would put you and your family at risk in this way. And I can’t believe that he is furious with you for not allowing him to put you and your family at risk.

Such a selfish and foolish thing to do. I would be seething if I were in your position too.

ExDancer Wed 22-Dec-21 20:46:22

She MUST stay at home - alone. Its a no brainer.

MayBeMaw Wed 22-Dec-21 20:50:57

I am actually totally gobsmacked that anybody needs to ask the question OP.
What is your personal opinion?

rubysong Wed 22-Dec-21 20:53:57

My niece has tested positive and is staying put. Alone with her dog. She is on the other side of the country to her parents and had planned to be with them. No one who tests positive should be going anywhere. They can always have Christmas once the isolation ends.

MissAdventure Wed 22-Dec-21 20:57:49

Are they even going to be able to do anything much, other than nursing one another through covid?

Hithere Wed 22-Dec-21 21:02:28

This is why lockdowns need to be called now

Where are their brains?

Kate22 Wed 22-Dec-21 21:07:49

Thank you all so much for your comments, really helpful and reassuring- I’d almost started to think that I was being unreasonable in thinking it’s such a stupid and irresponsible thing to do! I like the idea that my husband stays with his daughter- that way no one else would be infected by his actions- I’ll let you know how he responds to that! It’s made very tricky by the fact that I’m the second wife , I would be arguing and raging over this if it were my child involved and we were both the parent but I’m
Not trying to excuse my passivity regarding it all. Thanks again everyone

Calistemon Wed 22-Dec-21 21:07:56

Another poster has said how worried she is about her ill DD and her 7 year old DGC, alone and isolating with only the OP's DH leaving food at the door.

Sorry, this thread beggars belief.

Calistemon Wed 22-Dec-21 21:08:47

Sorry, Kate22, it's not you I am cross with!