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Advice please re a Covid problem

(152 Posts)
Kate22 Wed 22-Dec-21 19:51:29

Hi Everyone,
I’d be glad of your advice/opinions, please.
My husband’s daughter lives in London and has just tested positive for COVID. My husband is driving down to pick her up on Xmas eve - a 3 hour journey and take her to her mother’s home ( the next village to us) so she can spend Christmas with them. Understandably my husband doesn’t want to think of her spending Christmas alone in isolation. On Christmas Day my four children ( all of whom incidentally work for the NHS) plus two grandchildren are coming for Xmas and Boxing Day . I am very unhappy that my husband is knowingly putting us all at risk by being in such close contact with a positive case. I have worked hard to remain calm although I am inwardly seething but have said that if my children knew they would ( rightly in my opinion) refuse to come at Christmas. They cannot knowingly compromise the health of their patients . I feel
I cannot keep something so serious from them. My husband has agreed , albeit absolutely furiously, to go and stay in a hotel over Christmas once he’s dropped his daughter off. I’m perfectly happy for him to do this but I wondered what others thought and if anyone could suggest a better solution! Incidentally he was meant to be spending part of Christmas Day with his elderly parents but doesn’t want to put them at risk .

Grannybags Wed 22-Dec-21 21:15:55

I can't believe I'm reading this. How old is she? Surely she can manage to be by herself for a week if it helps to keep her family and your family safe?

Ro60 Wed 22-Dec-21 22:24:22

Grannybags my thoughts were on the same line - What does the young girl say about this?
Does she care about her family? - getting Dad to take her, Stopping with poor Mum. ?

MayBeMaw Wed 22-Dec-21 23:34:37

I like the idea that my husband stays with his daughter- that way no one else would be infected by his actions
Even that is breaking the rules- isolation is precisely that.
If one family member has to isolate within a household they must stay in their room, use a different bathroom if possible and have their meals left at the door.
You certainly don’t move in with somebody who is isolating!

Hetty58 Wed 22-Dec-21 23:41:23

Kate22, Isolation means just that - staying put, where you are, by yourself - for seven days - no excuses - full stop. Why is your husband considering enabling her to break the rules? I'd be very angry about it. Hide the car keys!

MayBee70 Thu 23-Dec-21 02:27:26

It was even advised today ( yesterday) that people going to any event that involved travelling should only share a car with their own family.Car sharing is the easiest way to catch the virus from anyone and if she has the new variant there’s no way he won’t catch it on a three hour car journey.

Redhead56 Thu 23-Dec-21 02:33:16

Tell him to isolate with his daughter that way she will not be alone.

FarNorth Thu 23-Dec-21 02:42:41

Very Infectious - what doesn't he understand about that?

Susan56 Thu 23-Dec-21 02:50:45

I honestly cannot believe that your husband is considering putting himself in a position where he will probably catch Covid and infect heaven knows how many other people on his travels.
It is 2.45 and I am wide awake listening to my triple jabbed husband struggle with his breathing.I feel despair and cannot believe your husbands daughter would put him at risk or that he would put others at risk.

vegansrock Thu 23-Dec-21 05:04:51

My DD is triple jabbed and has just tested positive. She is staying put in her flat for 7 days. She has a partner and won’t be alone but she will miss seeing the family. The important thing is she isn’t too unwell and can join us via zoom. We can get together another day.

Daisymae Thu 23-Dec-21 07:39:52

She should obviously be isolating. He will almost certainly get infected spending hours in a car with a positive case. No question she should stay put and they should postpone Christmas. Many people are in this position. You are right to insist that he doesn't contribute to the spread of this hideous illness.

NfkDumpling Thu 23-Dec-21 07:40:39

I hate the word gobsmacked. But I am. Gobsmacked.

I do hope that by now Mr Kate22 has come to his senses and his brain has taken over from his heart.

Patsy70 Thu 23-Dec-21 07:50:18

The daughter must isolate at home for 7 days. If her mother is also alone and is prepared to risk catching COVID herself, she should go and stay with her daughter. Everyone is making sacrifices and you and your children and grandchildren should not be put at risk.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 23-Dec-21 09:20:21

Sheer lunacy. He seems to have a very tenuous grip on the reality of covid and he has the temerity to be furious with the one person who’s showing common sense in all this. I hope he drops his ridiculous plan to pick his daughter up and then go and infect a hotel full of people.

maddyone Thu 23-Dec-21 09:30:22

I can’t believe anyone is going to pick the daughter up. She’s isolating! What else is there to say? She must stay at home.

Fleur20 Thu 23-Dec-21 10:05:39

So your husbands plan is to get infected.. come home, infect you, infect all your kids, infect all their contavts and patients......
If he wants to spend Christmas with his daughter he does it in her home. Not share the virus with all and sundry.
Stubborn AND selfish.
Put your foot down... if he collects her from London... he is living elsewhere for Christmas.
Keep yourself and your family safe.

pen50 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:04:52

She's not allowed to go anywhere! She need to stay in her own home for seven days if she's fully vaccinated, ten if not. Otherwise she's breaking the law. Utterly miserable for her but the rules are the rules.

pascal30 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:05:29

Of course she must self isolate. Surely she realises that?

Blondie49 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:07:08

Can’t even believe this post, not your fault poster at all, but do your husband and his daughter actually read the news and the rules, they seem to be intent on breaking them all and in the process infecting goodness knows how many people ??????

ReadyMeals Thu 23-Dec-21 12:19:00

The planned actions would be illegal.

readsalot Thu 23-Dec-21 12:21:58

No discussion necessary. She must isolate for 7/10 days. Legal requirement, I believe. Many people will be on their own because of this.

silverdragon Thu 23-Dec-21 12:21:59

I am so pleased to read so many REALLY understanding the whole concept of 'isolation'. It seemed so many times over the past 2 years that people either didn't understand what it meant (unlikely), chose to ignore it, or interpreted it in their own way.

The virus couldn't care less about 'isolation' rules.

Maybe it is time for more individuals to be stronger and say no to circumstances where individuals are bending/ignoring the rules/guidelines.

This is the 2nd Christmas under Covid. Do we really want a 3rd?

greenlady102 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:26:30

what is the big deal with adults being on their own on christmas day provided they don't need care and have sufficent food and so on. What make your husband and his daughter so special? I agree if he doesn't want her being alone, he should go to her and stay with her for the duration of whatever the rules say.

greenlady102 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:27:24

oh and I don't want to rub it in but has he not heard of Cummings and the Barnard's Castle Affair?

bear1 Thu 23-Dec-21 12:28:49

the daughter should not be going anywhere if she has just tested positive its a seven day quarantine so she would be a risk to your husband and but the whole family and her mothers,as members of your family work in the nhs then picking his daughter up should be he also needs to spend 7 days in quarantine cant her mother collect her

Grandmafrench Thu 23-Dec-21 12:32:11

Wow! Sometimes….just when you think you’ve heard it all!
Think you may be more concerned about fairness to first or second families, rather than focussing on the most important unarguable fact. The fact that HE is being totally irresponsible. She is also being totally selfish and irresponsible. Her Mother the same.

You can’t help that, other than to insist you and your children aren’t to be put at risk as well.

He should stay where he is. His Daughter (isolating) remains where she is. Alone. Rather a lot of people are having non-ideal Christmases!

But, if he’s hell bent on showing he’s lost his mind, then he can of course drive to hers and stay with her until they are both free of Covid and it will be safe for him to return home.

If the ex-Wife is happy to have Covid then she (not some poor, innocent cab driver) , needs to go herself and stay isolated, until clear, with her own Daughter. Staying in a hotel? Travelling elsewhere? Given the facts, how many more innocent people does he plan to involve.

Stick to your guns, OP. You deserve better.