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Sleeping alone

(133 Posts)
Jennyluck Tue 18-Jan-22 20:44:47

I’ve just discovered the joy of sleeping alone.
Dh has dementia, and has started going to the toilet during the night, a lot. Which unfortunately wakes me up, there’s also snoring, coughing, sniffing. I find once I’m awake, I can’t get back to sleep.
I can’t have my own bedroom because we have a full house, with 2 ac and a grand child.
So I had a brain wave of buying a sofa bed. I bought a really good one.
Oh the joy of a peaceful nights sleep.
Anyone else gone down this road. ??

Thisismyname1953 Wed 19-Jan-22 11:32:45

My husband died 15 years ago weeks before our 35th wedding anniversary. I love having the bed and the room to myself . I sleep quite well but on the occasions that I am awake during the night I can read on my Kindle or watch tv without disturbing anyone. Win win .

WendyBT Wed 19-Jan-22 11:33:21

We have slept separately for years, by choice, now out of medical necessity.

Elderlyfirsttimegran Wed 19-Jan-22 11:37:06

I’ve been sleeping on my own for6 years, since my husband died. We had a king size bed so I sleep on week one side and the next week on the other so I only change it fortnightly! So an environmental benefit too!

buffyfly9 Wed 19-Jan-22 11:38:35

I had to laugh at your post Marmite, that is exactly what I do, sometimes my " office" on the other side of the bed is so crowded that when I turn over in the middle of the night the whole lot slides onto the floor.
We have our own bedrooms, it is bliss, I can read until 2am if I want to, no snoring to keep me awake, he goes to bed early, I go to bed very late, he gets up at 8.30, I get up at 9.45! I could never share a bed with anyone ever again.grin

Purplepixie Wed 19-Jan-22 11:40:12

I would love to have a separate bedroom but even the mention of it seems to hurt DH’s feelings. We only met back in 2005 and I had spent over 10 years without anyone else in my bed. Now, I think I prefer to sleep on my own. He snores very loudly and I am a light sleeper. We have a king size bed yet he seems to always lie in the middle of it!!! Annoying. Sometimes I go downstairs and read for an hour or two and dont seem to get much sleep at all. My little naps on an afternoon are much needed. I know I would miss him dearly if he wasn’t here but right now I want my own bed/bedroom.

Witzend Wed 19-Jan-22 11:40:25

GrammarGrandma

I would be very sad if we ever had to have separate beds/rooms. We share an ordinary double quite amicably and it's nice to be cuddled.

I’d have said exactly the same in the days when I used to sleep like a top!
It’s very different now, and there’s no way I can share an ordinary double with dh any more, though in the (now distant) past we quite happily shared a small (4 foot) double at my mother’s house.
Not long ago I had to make a last minute booking for one night in a hotel. I couldn’t find anywhere with KS beds, so booked a twin room, which worked fine.

TanaMa Wed 19-Jan-22 11:44:22

Having got used to sleeping alone in a db since my husband died I don't think I could share a bed again. I am a restless sleeper, always trying to find a cold spot in the bed. I go to bed late and read my kindle, sleep about 5 hours then awake until time to get up and feed the animals. Although I am in my 87th year I still get too hot in bed at night and only have a lightweight cover and sheet on the bed.

Nannina Wed 19-Jan-22 11:48:32

I live and sleep alone-bliss grin

Susieq62 Wed 19-Jan-22 11:52:34

We sleep n separate rooms due to my snoring and his tossing and turning! I like to read in bed and he watches stuff on his iPad !! So it is a win win for us! We sleep in the same bed when we go away or stay at DD but it is always a king size ! Works for us plus we always have a cuppa together in the morning!

4allweknow Wed 19-Jan-22 11:56:16

Still together in a v. big bed. I am not a good sleeper. For those of the same ilk and who want to read until sleepy, I use a Kindle. No need to switch light on, can cuddle in with Kindle almost hidden by covers, and fir me it really helps me get back to sleep. Be careful where you place the book in case you let it fall of the edge of the bed. Done this several times without damage but the thump on the floor wakens me up.

Bijou Wed 19-Jan-22 12:06:49

I have slept alone (apart from my cat) for thirty four years since my husband died. I still miss him.
My husband was deaf so I could listen to the radio without disturbing him.
We did once trying different rooms but once my back became stiff and I had to crawl painfully to reach him and wake him.
Another time he was on call to take my pregnant dil to hospital for the birth and once again had difficulty to wake him. So after that we slept together.

Fernhillnana Wed 19-Jan-22 12:10:06

Sleep alone and have done for 30 years. Love having my own boudoir and as I have dreadful insomnia it saves my husband from broken nights. Oh I do sleep with Rufus the dog though!

4timesagran Wed 19-Jan-22 12:12:05

My husband went to his own bed when he was being treated for prostate cancer and had a catheter fitted. I found it a great relief not to listen to his thunderous snores! However we usually watch a programme on tv whilst in the double bed before he goes back to his own bed. We like the togetherness.

Wren5 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:17:46

I sleep on my own, have done for several years now, initially because of my back pain but now I prefer it smile My husband makes strange noises in his sleep, has suffered years with sleep apnoea, I am light
sleeper & I fidget so much, it used to drive him nuts so separate bedrooms, separate beds, it works for me wink

Applegran Wed 19-Jan-22 12:22:03

We got a huge bed - maybe super-king sized? It is indeed super! Anyway, we share it but have single duvets. I get hot at night and Mr Apple doesn't, so we can each have the cover we want - and it avoids a big double duvet sliding off one person when the other one moves it in their sleep.

Atqui Wed 19-Jan-22 12:30:27

I would prefer to sleep alone but as Purplepixie said husband seems to take it badly. We both snore , but I’m the one who gets woken up and then cannot go back to sleep.I would also love to be able to read my kindle or look at I pad , if I had a room on my own.

darbycall Wed 19-Jan-22 12:33:25

I needed this. as someone who has been single for years and longed for partner, so wanted to feel someone's arms around me, this certainly showed me the other side of what it might be like. As they say, be careful for what you wish for!

Caztown15 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:34:04

Yes, once the last ‘child’ left home we redecorated the room and then I can’t actually remember why hubby moved in there, but he does snore and I’m an insomniac so it has stayed that way. Suits us both, and we’re as close as ever.

nipsmum Wed 19-Jan-22 12:34:34

Yes for the past 30 odd years . My husband chose to leave to sleep with someone else and when I moved house I bought a single bed. I couldn't sleep with anyone now.

BlueSky Wed 19-Jan-22 12:38:55

Bijouflowersx

cookiemonster66 Wed 19-Jan-22 12:48:05

I love having my own bedroom again, my domain, my escape place. Hubby kicked me out of our room due to me snoring, I fidget, up and down to toilet several times per night, poor chap has to get up for work at 6am, so I completely understand. I do not work registered disabled, stay at home all day every day. Now he goes to bed and can read his model train mags = train porn, and I go to bed and can read my kindle and not worry about disturbing him. Great in summer too, no longer have to lie next to his sweaty body, and can have the fan on when I like!

Tish Wed 19-Jan-22 12:52:27

Some of us don’t have an option.

Candy6 Wed 19-Jan-22 13:06:20

I dip in and out of sleeping alone. I suffer from anxiety and I sometimes struggle during the night. The spare room is my “safe space” where I can ground, have the light on if I need to, have the curtains and window open. I must say though, even when my anxiety eases, I prefer it on my own - just me and the dog and I can do exactly what I want. I do feel guilty though and feel it does affect our marriage a bit. Otherwise, we have a good relationship and have been married for over 30 years.

GrannyTracey Wed 19-Jan-22 13:10:35

Some of us don’t have a choice. My husband upped & left me for a much younger woman after 28 years of marriage . But oh I do love the bed all to myself & sleep just like Marmight does changing side weekly & laying in the middle for the hell of it when I want ?

DeeDe Wed 19-Jan-22 13:17:06

Yes my husband has sleep apnea.. now have my own room with en-suite and it’s heavenly
Woohoo