Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Are You a Lady? ?

(239 Posts)
FannyCornforth Mon 30-May-22 12:20:28

Hello!
(No, don’t worry, it’s not about toilets.)

What do you think about being called a lady?

I’ve found myself using the plural on a few occasions on here;
and I always slightly feel as if I should apologise, or ask permission.
In fact, in the past, I have done the latter.

As a young 80’s feminist, I used to really dislike the word; and I would berate my poor mother for using the word (what a flipping sanctimonious child I was!)

But now, I don’t mind lady at all, in fact I like it. Perhaps we should reclaim it…

So what do you think? Yay or nay?
(Now would be a fantastic time for the Mumsnet voting buttons - forget a like button, we need those bad boys)

Thank you smilebrew

Davida1968 Mon 30-May-22 16:34:13

Years ago I came across this definiton: "A lady is someone who does what she is told to do...." So I am definitely NOT a lady!

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 08:04:04

timetogo2016

My Dh calls me his lovely lady and i recieved a letter from the NHS referring to me as a lady.
Looks weird on paper,i prefer a woman all day long.

Consultant’s letters are weird.

There was a thread on MN some years ago discussing whether they way the patient was described was some sort of code used by HCP’s.

A letter that I recently received from a surgeon, referred to me as ‘this pleasant 54 year old lady’.

I was fine with lady; I would have hoped for something more effusive than pleasant; and he got my age wrong!

I think that DH got a consultant’s letter describing him as a ‘charming gentleman’.

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 08:09:27

Following OakDryd’s thought provoking erm, thoughts; I’ve been playing ‘Woman or Lady’, in which you categorise females into each term.

Oddly, I think of my mother as a lady, and my maternal grandmother as a woman.

My father is most definitely a gentleman.
In fact, if you were to look up the word ‘gentleman’ in the dictionary, you would see a photo of my dear dad.

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 08:10:23

Sorry OakDryad, I always misspell your name for some reason confused

BlueSky Tue 31-May-22 08:18:13

I think most of us think of our fathers as gentlemen. Different era?

lemsip Tue 31-May-22 08:20:59

when my granddaughter was born by emergency caesarean, the midwife carried the baby out to her out to her dad and family saying you have a beautiful young lady, I did not like that.

lemsip Tue 31-May-22 08:22:58

yes I know,,,, repeated myself

Spinnaker Tue 31-May-22 08:35:06

I can't help but think of this song when hearing the word Lady. Hope the link works smile

youtu.be/BBjI1aC4yCM

Ladyleftfieldlover Tue 31-May-22 08:38:33

When I was a management trainee at John Lewis many years ago, I was told off for referring to a customer as a woman. I was supposed to call her a lady! I’ve always thought a lady was someone who behaved well and maybe had one or two airs and graces!

SuzieHi Tue 31-May-22 08:40:10

Lady is fine with me. “Guys” is another matter - really annoys me!!

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 09:04:50

Spinnaker grin I knew that it was going to be that!

A good ‘lady’ song is by, I think, could be wrong, Peter Starstedt (sp?)
It’s called You’re a Lady. I think it came out in the early 80s.
It’s got a lot of piano and brass band in it.
It used to make me cry when I was a hormonal teenager confused

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 09:05:27

Thank you Suzi, I was beginning to think that it was just me!

OakDryad Tue 31-May-22 09:08:31

Ladyleftfieldlover

When I was a management trainee at John Lewis many years ago, I was told off for referring to a customer as a woman. I was supposed to call her a lady! I’ve always thought a lady was someone who behaved well and maybe had one or two airs and graces!

That reminds me of when I asked a JL assistant, in their once extensive Oxford Street fabric department, to direct me to some cheap fabric for a budget project I was planning. He replied: We don’t say cheap, madam. We prefer inexpensive.

Callistemon21 Tue 31-May-22 09:17:40

FannyCornforth

Spinnaker grin I knew that it was going to be that!

A good ‘lady’ song is by, I think, could be wrong, Peter Starstedt (sp?)
It’s called You’re a Lady. I think it came out in the early 80s.
It’s got a lot of piano and brass band in it.
It used to make me cry when I was a hormonal teenager confused

It was Peter Skellern, I think, FannyC

Callistemon21 Tue 31-May-22 09:18:00

Yes, I agree, it was a classic

ixion Tue 31-May-22 09:18:24

OakDryad

Ladyleftfieldlover

When I was a management trainee at John Lewis many years ago, I was told off for referring to a customer as a woman. I was supposed to call her a lady! I’ve always thought a lady was someone who behaved well and maybe had one or two airs and graces!

That reminds me of when I asked a JL assistant, in their once extensive Oxford Street fabric department, to direct me to some cheap fabric for a budget project I was planning. He replied: We don’t say cheap, madam. We prefer inexpensive.

Love it!?

Whiff Tue 31-May-22 09:18:28

I am a woman never been a lady. But I do say see you next week ladies to my exercise class. As saying see you next week women sounds stupid. And we are way to old to be called girls. Mind you my 93 year old neighbour did say a few months ago I was nout but a girl I am 64.

Where I used to live when I shopped in Waitrose was always called madam . First time I ask why and was told it was shop policy to address women as madam and men as sir.

My mom said she didn't mind what anyone called her as long as it wasn't late for dinner. She was full of funny sayings. ?

ixion Tue 31-May-22 09:20:00

You want to see 'Ladies' Nights' round here in WAG territory.
Would make your hair curl?

Spinnaker Tue 31-May-22 09:30:16

There you go Fanny - one for you, enjoy smile

youtu.be/5FhKteIE_s4

OakDryad Tue 31-May-22 09:33:36

Yes, ixiom. 500 "ladies" screaming at Chippendale acts at our local theatre would shock Trollope's polite society.

Coming back around to what FC asked in her opening post:

What do you think about being called a lady? (My underline). It's a polite form of verbal address, especially in the plural (as Whiff says) to substitute for proper names.

However, it can also be used in a mocking, mansplaining sense - e.g. the American: Look, lady .... we often hear in dramas.

Interesting thread.

FannyCornforth Tue 31-May-22 10:04:49

Thank you Spinnaker ? (sniff)

Callistemon21 Tue 31-May-22 12:02:53

Thanks Spinnaker, I found one with a video but couldn't link from YouTube

Redhead56 Tue 31-May-22 14:50:03

I was called a lady yesterday I quite like it as it sounds polite.

Mollygo Tue 31-May-22 17:57:25

At gym the trainer says see you next time ladies - se you next time women would sound really weird.
Long time ago, we were referred to as ladies in waiting on our antenatal visits. My 33 year old friend much preferred that to ‘elderly primagravida’
School secretary tells me there’s a lady to see me (if she doesn’t recognise the mum).
I go for a night out with the ‘girls’.
I don’t mind really, as long as people are polite. There’s a ‘woman’ to see you could be anything nowadays.

AreWeThereYet Tue 31-May-22 18:26:41

Don't care. So long as it's not intended to be insulting I refuse to be offended.