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Should I interfere with son's relationship

(87 Posts)
Greg37 Mon 25-Jul-22 19:52:50

My 30 something son was divorced after 3 years of marriage because his wife had an affair. He is now in a new relationship with a lovely girl but I'm scared it will all go wrong again. I know he loves her but I'm afraid that he's not working hard enough on their relationship. He doesn't treat her or take her out very often. I've tried to suggest things but he says she's ok with things. Recently they seem to spend more time with separate friends. I'm worried that she might leave him if he doesn't value her more. What should I do- ask if things are ok or leave them to it?

BlueBelle Thu 28-Jul-22 17:45:00

grandtante of course you help family if asked that’s not what this thread is about it’s about sorting a son out who hasn’t asked to be sorted out Two VERY different scenarios
I think you ve misread the point completely

bongobil Thu 28-Jul-22 20:20:31

Agree with others NO NO NO

GrauntyHelen Fri 29-Jul-22 00:31:17

Leave him alone he's a man he doesn't need Mummy interfering

Maezinha Fri 29-Jul-22 00:55:38

It is difficult to watch your adult children mess up! But I do agree with everyone here that says don't interfere. If the relationship ends and he asks you what you think then you can tell him!

paddyann54 Fri 29-Jul-22 09:32:08

This woman may not want or need to be "treated or taken out" we dont all want the same things.I much prefer buying things for myself than having other peoples taste in gifts etc given to me and I'm much too polite to say I dont like that.I generally tell family and friends no presents please if you want to give to me give to a charity instead.Your sons partner may be the same but surely thats their decision and no one else's she may be a homebird and prefer staying in.....would you want to be dragged out to places or events when you'd rather stay home .
Be thankful she's not high maintenance or after his money and let them live their lives their way

oodles Sat 30-Jul-22 20:28:24

Maybe think about how your son might be feeling after a bad experience he might not be ready for anything more than that sort of relationship. If the girl is also taking time out from serious dating she might be put off if she sees it as he is trying to push things
Even if he asks you what you think you need to be so careful, listen to him reflectively to help him make his own mind up.

MercuryQueen Sat 30-Jul-22 20:44:15

Not everyone has the same wants and needs in a relationship. Myself, I’m happiest NOT going out. Others would suffocate.

All the more reason to MYOB.

welbeck Sat 30-Jul-22 21:34:43

i think there have been a few wind-up merchants on these boards recently.

Mama2020 Sun 31-Jul-22 01:26:47

The subject of your post is all one needs to read. As long as no one is endangered, the answer to this question is always going to be no.

Txquiltz Sun 31-Jul-22 03:57:06

He may have to experience the pain of growing wiser. He is an adult. Let him find his own path without interfering.

nanna8 Mon 15-Aug-22 08:54:52

They may well split up but if so it is their business, not yours.