What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

Lovely story Paddyann
I married into a family business, still working there with my husband and three children.
It’s given us a decent living, and we have had a lot of laughs along the way..
But although I realise I’ve been lucky, it wasn’t what I wanted for myself, from being so focused, I managed to mess everything up, lack of guidance, but ultimately down to me.

A kind colleague told me that I was just as good as everyone else and a good deal better than some - I was listening but found it hard to believe.

My parents' generation didn't give too much praise as they thought it would lead to us getting big-headed. When I had a problem at work Dad said a similar thing but after hearing negative things for the first sixteen years that was hard to believe too. I felt like asking him why he'd left it so late and that the damage had already been done.

Luckily, I've become more confident over the decades, but it's taken a very long time.

I'm with MOnica. Doubt I'd have listened, but I might've been more attent.

....

paddyann54

Unlike many here I would be happy to do things exactly the same way.Engaged at 20 married 7 months later at 21 ,my OH had just turned 20, days before the wedding.
We knew what we wanted to do and did it .4 months after the wedding we started a business witha £250 loan from OH's granny.We sttopped trading due to covid 45 YEARS later ,Had other businesses along the way too.

Have two wonderful children wth hearts of gold and 5 fantastic GC.
Of course we've had hard times ,had a struggle to have those 2 children ,9 pregnancies,our business burned down
by an arsonist in 1985 and had to build new premises ,and did it within two weeks while keeping the jobs covered with the help of great friends .

Being a team got us through a lot of very tough times .We've worked together every day and lived together .Marriage when its right is the most amazing part of life .

My lovely dad asked me if I was sure about getting married when we were on the way to the church ,he said if you have any doubts we'll turn round ,go home and never mention it again .I told him then ,and I had only known my OH exactly a year to the day,that I would never be more sure about anything or anyone .
I still feel the same .

I feel the same.

Married at 16, still happily married at 77.

That's lovely paddyann.

My mum told me I was too young to get married a the age of 19. She was wrong and we're very happy; 42 years now. It hasn't been easy but like you, we've got through the bad times together.

"Marriage when it's right is the most amazing part of life" absolutely.

Don’t marry him! I married aged 20 yrs 2 mths.

You are NOT fat! Stop fretting about how you look because in forty years time you’ll look at photos and realise what a cracker you were and how sad that you didn’t think so.

Ditto Borrheid55 !!

My lovely dad asked me if I was sure about getting married when we were on the way to the church ,he said if you have any doubts we'll turn round ,go home and never mention it again
Oh Norah I wish mine had said that, or that I’d have had the courage of my convictions.

I was married with children at 20 so I think I'd have needed to have a conversation with myself before then...

Not really though as I don't regret any of it