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I need some urgent advice

(122 Posts)
Cabbie21 Thu 27-Apr-23 22:40:52

About what to do immediately after my DH sadly dies this coming night.
Sorry to be blunt. I want to be practical before we reach the inevitable. Please don't join in if you find this upsetting.
I am writing here because everyone else in my family will be asleep when the inevitable happens.

Allsorts Thu 27-Apr-23 22:48:46

So sorry Cabbie, kiss him good bye, sit a while, ring the doctor then your closest family, there's no rules. Be kind to yourself. Even though you're expecting death it still takes you by surprise.

Marydoll Thu 27-Apr-23 22:49:21

I have no advice to offer, Cabbie, but I couldn't pass by, without saying nothing.
I pray that you will find the strength to get through tonight.

Is there anyone, you could ask to sit with you, so that you are not alone?.
💐

ixion Thu 27-Apr-23 22:51:15

I'm sorry I can't be practical but please know that so many of us here will be with you in spirit during this long and very sad night🥀

Moonwatcher1904 Thu 27-Apr-23 22:53:46

I'm so sorry to hear this Cabbie. My thoughts are with you. xx

Deedaa Thu 27-Apr-23 22:54:04

I'm presuming you are at home with him as most things would be taken care of for you if he was in hospital. Does he have a medical team caring for him? If so I would contact them for advice. The main steps would be certifying death and arranging for him to be collected by the funeral directors. Everything else will take more time, but there's no rush. Don't any of your family want to be with you?

Lilypops Thu 27-Apr-23 22:55:16

Oh Cabbie. Am so sad for you, you really mustn’t be alone, ring your family now, surely they would want to come to you to comfort you, My thoughts are with you tonight, God Bless ,

Callistemon21 Thu 27-Apr-23 22:57:52

I'm sorry to read your message, *Cabbie21.
Do you have anyone who can come to be with you?

I pray that he will go gently and know that you are with him.

flowers

Jalyn Thu 27-Apr-23 22:58:07

I think that Allsort's advice is spot on. My thoughts are with you and hope you find the strength to get through tonight and the coming days xx

Smileless2012 Thu 27-Apr-23 23:00:14

I'm so sorry Cabbie. Keep talking to him and as Allsort's has said, kiss him goodbye and then ring the doctor and your close family when you're ready flowers.

Mollygo Thu 27-Apr-23 23:00:16

So sorry Cabbie21. I hope he has a peaceful passing, knowing you are there, but I wish you had someone there for you.

Callistemon21 Thu 27-Apr-23 23:00:45

On a practical note:

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/legal-issues/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/#:~:text=Call%20the%20family%20doctor%20and%20nearest%20relative.&text=A%20Death%20Certificate%20will%20then%20be%20provided.

Hithere Thu 27-Apr-23 23:03:54

So sorry cabbie

I would start lining up support for you

Norah Thu 27-Apr-23 23:11:45

Praying he passes easily. I'm sorry.

cornergran Thu 27-Apr-23 23:14:25

Cabbie I can only tell you what we did when my Mum died at home, bear in mind this was 30+ years ago. Her doctor knew she was close to the end and had given my Dad a number to call. We sat with her, I held her hand, we talked about nothing really. After her death was certified the funeral director was called. In between we sat with her, sometimes together and sometimes alone, to say our goodbyes. The funeral director explained what we needed to do next.

Is there no one you’d like to be awake with you as you wait cabbie? Family or friend? Be as you feel right as you sit with your husband. There’s no rule book for this. I felt I wanted to hold my Mums hand and talk to her, perhaps the same for you, perhaps not.

I’m so sorry you sound so alone. I’ll be thinking of you both, sending love.

Doodle Thu 27-Apr-23 23:17:43

No advice sorry just my thoughts and prayers being with you at this time. So sorry you have this sadness to come.

Shelflife Thu 27-Apr-23 23:30:41

Cabbie, thinking of you and sending you strength. I am so sorry you are on your own , GN posters are ' with ' you.

Macgran43 Thu 27-Apr-23 23:43:09

I have been in your position but family took it in turn to sit with my DH during the night. He passed peacefully the following afternoon. Rang 111 as it was a weekend. Dr eventually appeared and wrote a note. He was a cold fish Dr Death. The undertaker was phoned and when they came they were lovely and caring. Sad seeing DH leave but his death was expected and peaceful. So glad I had company with me. Try not to be alone.

SunshineSally Thu 27-Apr-23 23:53:23

Cabbie I couldn’t pass by without acknowledging your post. Am so sorry you’re on your own. Allsorts is spot on.
Sending you strength and a bear hug - we’re all here for you 💐 x

Wyllow3 Thu 27-Apr-23 23:54:52

If you want to be quietly alone with him awhile, take that time. If its all to much, wake the family up to share as soon as you need to.

I've not been through it, but its clear many here will be with you in spirit xx

Cabbie21 Fri 28-Apr-23 00:09:34

My darling husband has died peacefully in hospital. He has gone to be with his Lord.
I have a stepdaughter with me who is utterly bereft.
Signing off now.
Thank you all

Rosarie Fri 28-Apr-23 00:12:32

So sorry for your loss Cabbie21

Redhead56 Fri 28-Apr-23 00:22:34

I am so sorry to hear this your husband in now at peace. You have a supportive family embrace and comfort each other now.. 💐

Hithere Fri 28-Apr-23 00:36:18

My condolences for your loss

Blossoming Fri 28-Apr-23 00:40:48

So sorry for your loss.