Manipulative sister part 2

Well it's her loss Nana. As long as you don't use ingredients she doesn't like for example garlic in lasagne, I'd cook whatever I fancy so at least I'm enjoying the food even if she isn't.

Why do you keep putting yourself in situations you are set to fail?

Good question Hithere, stubbornness??

Give her sandwiches!

Doesn't eat bread

Ask her what meal she would eat as you have noticed that she does not eat what you serve.

The other alternative is to stop inviting her to eat with you, saying there is not point as she doesn’t eat it.

Tell her how you feel!!! Or better still don't invite her to eat with you.

i don't understand this.
maybe she is ill ? or has an eating disorder ?
why does she come to eat with you, is she disabled.

Why don’t you give up on the meal if she doesn’t want it. Ask her if she would like a sandwich. Get two different loaves and different filling, if not eaten it will all freeze until next week. Perhaps just a cuppa and a cake.

Tell her. to buy her own ingredients for the meal she would like and you will cook it for her.......she might get her head out of her a**e if she has to spend some of her own money.

Agree you are being taken for a ride. You don’t have to invite her, so don’t. She may be your sister but she is trying to dominate your life and that can’t be right.

Why are you cooking for her? What are you getting from this repeated scenario.

It must be something because you keep on doing it.
Are you enjoying feeling hard done by?

If you decide to continue having her get a cheap ready meal.

I missed your last thread, sorry, so I may be misunderstanding. Sounds very weird to me.

Is it possible that she has a health problem that she's not telling you about? Bad teeth? Bad throat or stomach? Something making her embarrassed to eat?

Have you tried just putting food out and letting her help herself to what she wants? Is she eating before she gets to your house?

Is she coming to your house because it's a habit? Do you ever discuss whether she should come or not?

Stop inviting her to eat with you. She's either very fussy, unwell, lost her appetite or being controlling. Only you know which fits. If she queries the lack of invite, point out that she obviously doesn't like your cooking so no point in offering.

Lathyrus - spot on, exactly! Repeating something that left you feeling annoyed is strange. I'd just have a 'bits and pieces' meal (a favourite) where salad, snacks, dips etc. are plonked on the table - along with some jacket potatoes, perhaps - and people help themselves to what they fancy. The rest goes back in the fridge for later.

That's a good idea, Hetty.
I read the previous thread and it's very complex, about you setting boundaries in some really difficult areas.

This is less difficult than some of the others so I wouldn't say no to it but Hetty's way I hope gives mimimum chance for manipulation and max chance of not *issing you off as its not "wasted".

She comes as she lives alone, we're her only family. No friends. She has renal disease and is awaiting transplant

yes, just offer a buffet style, pick your own meal.
we can all get stuck in habits; maybe you are OP ?

Loss of appetite is very common with renal disease. So is nausea. Have you tried asking what she feels like eating? Perhaps she would prefer a liquid meal?

Have a chat. Non confrontational.
Does it matter if she fancies 2 Weetabix with some chopped banana?
All food is good food.
Tell her it’s her company you enjoy and that it doesn’t matter really what she eats at your table.

18Nana56

She comes as she lives alone, we're her only family. No friends. She has renal disease and is awaiting transplant

That is no excuse to be so unfriendly and hostile with you

i think with kidney disease one has to avoid salt and potassium.
almost all foods contain these, so it can be difficult.
also it can be v depressing awaiting a transplant, wondering if when it will happen, the risk of it too.
i have some family history of such.
i would cut her some slack.

Just ask her what she fancies, perhaps she is over faced by a lot of food.

If this is the sister with renal failure, unless her food was cooked without salt, she probably cannot and should not eat it.

However judging from your previous post your sister knows exactly which buttons to press to upset you, so why bother to invite her?

Ask her just for coffee or tea, explaining that you are unsure whether her illness makes it unwise for her to eat what you cook or whether it is just not to her taste, but you aren't providing a meal next time she comes.