Smileless2012
That's right MercuryQueen. I'm genuinely appalled at some of the responses the OP's received and the way her son's been criticised.
IMO this isn't about a pregnant woman's right to privacy, it's about control. Controlling her husband to the extent that she's telling him what he can and cannot tell his own mother.
It would be different if the OP's d.i.l.'s desire for privacy meant she hadn't even told her own mother and her sister, but she has so I genuinely don't understand why the OP and her son have been given such a hard time by some because he's done the same.
Of course there are issues couples agree not to discuss with parents and extended family; they agree and I'd have thought that if there's such an agreement neither does so, not one being able to do so while the other can't.
That's really not how consent works. The patient can choose to tell those they trust, they can also choose NOT to tell those they don't.
The husband, as he's not the patient, literally has no right to make that decision on her behalf.
Not everyone considers medical information to be a free for all, regardless of who's related to who and how.
Not all relationships are equal. The OP clearly dislikes her DIL. Why on Earth would the DIL want someone who dislikes them to be privy to personal medical info? Why would she want to trust someone like that?
You seem to ignore the dynamics of the relationship in favour of the titles. ie, "She's his Mum!" vs acknowledging that the relationship with the DIL is strained, at best, and ergo will absolutely impact sensitive situations such as this.
Her being the Mom/Grandmother doesn't supersede the problematic relationship. Being family isn't diplomatic immunity that prevents consequences from actions. I have zero clue what's happened in this relationship previously, but given how the OP talks about her DIL, and admits to gossiping with other DIL about her, I think it's safe to say it's not a positive one.
Why would someone with a strained relationship trust the other person with sensitive information? Being DNA related to her husband and coming child certainly hasn't ensured that the relationship is a good one, so why should it entitle the OP to information? The DIL is absolutely free to share her information with those she trusts, it's HER information. That she doesn't trust the OP is the problem, not who she's choosing to share with.
Unless the OP wants to be estranged, she needs to take a good look at the relationship and figure out what she can do to encourage repair. I'm not saying it's all the OP's fault, because again, we don't know the details... but the only thing OP has control over his her own behaviour.
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