Feeling left out

Difficult situation. It’s a slightly concerning pregnancy situation and the dil is feeling vulnerable - only wants the comfort of her mother knowing and doesn’t want to discuss elsewhere. It’s a concern for the son too and needed to share it with his mum so it’s a difficult situation for him but mum will no doubt keep the secret despite feeling hurt.

Siope

No he didn’t go against her wishes, just thought it was a normal thing to especially as she had already told her mum and sister.

Good luck, OP!

I must be odd.I didn't want anyone to know anything about my pregnancies.I didn't tell my own mother and would have been furious if my OH had shared information with his family .I lost one twin at 10 weeks and the second at 30 weeks and frankly managing everyone elses grief was more than I wanted.

All other pregnancies were kept quiet as long as posssible ,labours and births not announced until we.my OH and me knew all was well .
Please respect your DIL's wishes.Its not you 're place to be involved if she doesn't want you to be and very wrong of your son to tell you something that she didn't want you to know.Her body her choice

It is not up to him to share somebody else's medical history- what a betrayal and breach of confidence

I would feel very let down if this was my pregnancy.

Please don't ask him anything else!

I felt like you, paddyann54 - so sorry you had so many extra worries.

Even if you have a good relationship with your dil she is still entitled to privacy relating to her medical condition. Her mum and sister are close and it’s up to her who to talk to. It’s an emotional time for her and your son of course.
All anyone needs to know is everything is fine.

It seems you don’t like her much and she will know this. Suggest you make an effort to get on with her. It will really help.
Congratulations on the new grandchild and hope all goes well .

@Silverlining
With all due respect you have no idea how much effort I have made and how often we have been rejected.
So many stories to tell and even my other daughter in laws find her behaviour odd.

you are wrong OP.
your attitude shows why your d.i.l. is not keen on you.
if you continue in this way, likely you will be NC/LC with that family going forward.

I didn’t ask to be told of any issues, my son told me but didn’t realise my DIL wouldn’t want us to know. He wouldn’t have said anything had he known.

Welbeck can you elaborate on that please, what exactly have I done wrong?

She seemed to like me enough when I was helping them out financially, coming over once a week with my grandson, that stopped immediately when we could no longer afford it!

Of course your son wants to confide in you! I wouldn't worry too much about this . If your son confides in you take that, be pleased and keep stum. I understand your DIL wants only her Mum to know - I respect that, but this baby is your son's child too. DIL will be feeling vulnerable just now , I get that. My thoughts are be there for your son , listen to what he wants to tell you and and keep quiet about it. Your son has been accused of lying to his wife - for goodness sake this is no big deal and certainly does not stir up trouble for the future. There will be bigger challenges than this for them in the future. All this will blow over . Enjoy your new GC when it arrives!

MoaningTurtle

Welbeck can you elaborate on that please, what exactly have I done wrong?

i was answering final sentence of your OP :

I understand it’s her pregnancy and totally up to her what she does but this is just typical of her, she sees her mum during the week but doesn’t ever come to us, doesn’t want my son to ever tell us anything.
Am I wrong to find this hurtful?

Shelflife

Thank you.

Welbeck.

Yes, and? It’s all true and hurtful.

I'm with Moaning Turtle. You have every right to feel hurt

MoaningTurtle she sees her mum during the week but doesn’t ever come to us, doesn’t want my son to ever tell us anything. Am I wrong to find this hurtful?

Yes.

She may see her mum without seeing you, never come alone to see you, and want to keep her life private - normal I'd say.

Missing missing reasons!

Your son shouldn't have told you

And you don't need to know what is going on in her uterus, that's her body... One more person stressed and worried will put more stress on a pregnant woman

And I just saw the "rabid feminist" comment as I scrolled back to check a detail and honestly... I think you are going to ruin this relationship and probably won't accept it's your own fault

Norah
So how am I supposed to have a relationship with my beloved grandson?
You honestly think I’m in the wrong because I’m sad that we don’t get to see much of him?
Really?

Violet Sky

What rubbish, I’m not ruining anything. I’ve kept my opinions to myself for the last ten years.
I guess it’s ok to have human feelings though!

Of course I dont know about your efforts with your dil. I was giving my thoughts based on your post.
No reason to be hurt, pregnancy is a difficult time.

there is an active estrangement section on this forum, if ever you should need it, OP.

MoaningTurtle

Norah
So how am I supposed to have a relationship with my beloved grandson?
You honestly think I’m in the wrong because I’m sad that we don’t get to see much of him?
Really?

I answered to ^she sees her mum during the week but doesn’t ever come to us, doesn’t want my son to ever tell us anything.
Am I wrong to find this hurtful?^

You're conflating your GS relationship with seeing dil during the week? You didn't ask that, separate issue to dils health.