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Dilemma on Christmas Day

(57 Posts)
Cabbie21 Wed 20-Dec-23 08:12:56

I have been invited to my son’s on Christmas Day. They live about a 25 minute drive away and have two young adult children living at home. This will be the first time spending Christmas Day with them and my first Christmas since DH died. Normally DH and I would spend it quietly home.

My son asked me if I wanted to arrive on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Day. I said I would be arriving late morning. He then said they would be eating at 3 pm, after an hour or so in the pub.
I expected things to be different this year, but this is not something I would expect to be doing, and actually have no desire to be in a pub with a group of their friends, on this day or any day. Do I go along with this so as not to cause offence, or plan to arrive later? I am also not used to eating so late, though I appreciate that a lot of people do.

Mallin Sat 23-Dec-23 15:36:01

I spent the first Christmas after my husband died, very pregnant and with 3 very young other children. Thinking it would result in giggles I asked them what they would like as a special Christmas meal. Expecting a yell of TURKEY.
Nope, it was egg and chips.
Would I fit in as an easy going Christmas visitor? Yes I would. I’d insist on being shown how to use their tv remote then insist on being left in front of the tv with it if they went to a pub.

Greciangirl Sat 23-Dec-23 16:37:31

I have the same problem.
My Dd wants us to join them in the pub on Christmas morning.
I know it will be noisy and crowded, also, we don’t particularly want a drink at that time either.

It’s either that or go over to them mid afternoon when the pub shuts.
I guess we’ll work something out, but I’m not looking forward to Christmas Day at all. I haven’t for a few years now.

It’s only because of my grandson that I bother.

Sorry to be a grouch, but my Dd is not the easiest of people to be around sometimes.

Happy Christmas to all grans, regardless.

Allsorts Sat 23-Dec-23 16:42:36

Cabbie, it will be very hard for you I know. Do agree with Marydoll. In future you can decide what’s right for you. It will mean a lot to him, you being with him and your family. It all went by in a bit of a blur for me.

Allsorts Sat 23-Dec-23 16:45:36

Mallin, How truly awful for you and your children. It puts my problems into perspective. .I do hope you all have a good Christmas.

LizzieDrip Sat 23-Dec-23 19:20:52

I agree with lots of posters. If, on the day, you don’t feel like going to the pub, stay at your son’s, in front of the TV with a Xmas drink and snacks, while they go to the pub. If done with a generous heart, it won’t come across as ‘bah humbug’, in fact, just the opposite - you’ll all be doing what you want to do whilst still spending Xmas day together.

daniel4ever Sat 23-Dec-23 21:29:58

My 2 cents - ever since COVID, and the birth of my first, and probably only grandchild a little over 2 years ago, our holidays have been different every single year. This year my daughter has opted to spend Christmas Eve with the inlaws, Christmas Day at home just the three of them, and then come to us for 3 days. I have let go of what the ideal holiday is, and just am embracing being able to spend time with the three of them, especially my granddaughter. They grow so fast!

My point is, do what feels right for you, but remember that your family is also trying to do what is right for them, and just try to enjoy what you have.

Merry Christmas!