Pain in the **** 'friend'

greenlady102 wish I had met your lovely lady across the road when I was young - excellent advice!

Do not try to fob him off with excuses, because there will be a next time when you are not ill, do not have friends / family visiting, etc. Just say "No, thank you." You do not have to give explanations, and if he asks for one, that is what you tell him.

Your husband has to deal with this. In response to all the texts and emails he can simply reply, Yes, see you next Wednesday at the club, and ignore all the rest. This' friendship' is at an early stage; best to squash it now.

Hi
If You aren’t keen on making her a friend then don’t …🙂

Could your husband not just message every time with - busy with family see you at the club/ hectic week see you at the club/ lots on this week but see you at the club. Hopefully he would soon get the message.

I feel sorry for your friend, and you! Can your husband have a frank and firm word? People can go through life just not realising... And if he is narcissistic then it doesn't look good. Firstly, look after yourselves

I managed to get out of seeing a couple that I couldn't stand by saying I had family issues. That is quite a good one as people rarely ask what they are.

This bombastic friend/husband is the reason they don’t have many friends. Wife is probably pretty subservient to him too, I’m guessing.

You’re in a tough spot, especially if the two guys work together. If this new guy is a manager or supervisor over your husband, then navigating this is trickier still. I think to separate yourselves somewhat would start by refusing a few invitations. If he bullies either one of you, I’d drop them like hot potatoes. No one tolerates this behavior.

You and your husband are friendly and respectful and non-confrontational - that’s why they want to see you.
USA Gundy

Skydancer

I managed to get out of seeing a couple that I couldn't stand by saying I had family issues. That is quite a good one as people rarely ask what they are.

remember this, everyone.
sounds suitably vague yet personal=effective.
thanks, Skydancer.

I would start calling him out on his comments, "What would make you say such a horrible thing to your wife?" Or laugh and say, "When you say comments like that, it's no wonder you don't have many friends"

Thank you for this advice. He is still texting but I think he is getting the message as there has not been so many! Hope it lasts!!

Mamasperspective

I would start calling him out on his comments, "What would make you say such a horrible thing to your wife?" Or laugh and say, "When you say comments like that, it's no wonder you don't have many friends"

Certainly agree with what you say . Why is it always women that are submissive , gently quiet no matter what’s said to them , men don’t put up with any nonsense as a general rule.

As regards to this obnoxious man , think it’s best to create a distance from him , just be slow in responding to messages and say you’re too busy or something. As regards to his wife , I personally wouldn’t want to make a friend out of her mainly because the type of woman she is , bit of a doormat .

We knew a couple some years ago through a sports club we belonged to. She was lovely, he was a very minor celeb and awful. He was mean to his wife constantly but she answered him back! She was from another European country so not your typical English woman. Anyway, she left him eventually and ran off with another member of the sports club whose Silver wedding celebrations we had attended not long before. All of life can be found in a small village, to quote Miss Marple.

just be honest and say not possible a tthe moment. You dont have to put up with nasty behaviour just because he is back in your life Please be fiem with him or get your husband to be so.