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Burial or cremation?

(54 Posts)
Grammaretto Wed 03-Jan-24 09:58:07

Watching a Medieval archeological dig on TV today, I was struck by

A) The bones they find are people. Long dead I know, but still.
B) if everyone is cremated what will future archeologists have to dig up from our time?

I have never wanted to be buried though having a grave to visit is a nice idea.
DH was cremated but I have had his name engraved on his family's stone.

Witzend Wed 03-Jan-24 10:01:44

I suppose they won’t have the same need or desire to dig bones up to try to find out about the people they once were, since there will (presumably) be plenty of written/archived records about recent eras.

Urmstongran Wed 03-Jan-24 10:02:57

If we were all to be buried wouldn’t we run out of space? All those plots with headstones. I think some graveyards are full. Didn’t the King via his Privy Council allow the body of a 7y old boy to be buried in a graveyard next to his primary school after it had been ‘closed’ for 100 years?

Grammaretto Wed 03-Jan-24 13:28:08

Yes I think you are both correct.
Not the same need in future to excavate old sites and no space for new burials.

My DF died and was buried in Singapore. 50 years later we got news that the cemetery was to be redeveloped for housing and roads.

I had to arrange for his body to be disinterred and cremated. It was the strangest thing. I went out there with my siblings and we mourned our loss together.

greenlady102 Wed 03-Jan-24 13:33:29

you know what? I don't care about future archaeologists and their needs/wishes

seadragon Wed 03-Jan-24 14:02:41

We spent some time before the pandemic exploring our options. Cremation dismissed as body must be flown off island, no eco burial options locally so purchased joint burial plot. Visited it in great excitement intending to take pic of DH lying 'in situ but thwarted by digger digging burial plot nearby!.... However delighted with site. Not least because the mother of the first islanders I met is buried there and we bought her home by coincidence when we moved back here in 2005!.. Feels right somehow. Not too bothered about being dug up in the future but more likely to be washed away as cemetry is by the sea - lovely for family to visit.. I do have some discomfort about ancient graves being opened and there contents pored over and scattered...

MiniMoon Wed 03-Jan-24 15:35:03

I'm not bothered about my bones being excavated in the future because I am not having my body buried.
I'm hoping that by the time I die there will be the facility to compost bodies. I love the idea of being turned into compost.
Otherwise it will be cremation.

Luckygirl3 Wed 03-Jan-24 15:40:54

Burial is basically composting. The goodness goes into the surrounding soil.

My late OH opted for burial and a "double-decker" hole was dug. I was to have been buried with him when my time comes, but the idea of disturbing the grave after his life had latterly been so awful - my only comfort was that he was at last at peace - has made me rethink and I have asked for cremation and ashes to be buried with him.

hollysteers Wed 03-Jan-24 15:43:13

I have illogical thoughts about the resurrection
even though I’m going to be cremated. I have friends and family who will not be cremated for this reason, similar to beliefs in medieval times.
I’m agnostic but often think about ‘if’ it happened to be true, how would my dust fare?😁

Fleurpepper Wed 03-Jan-24 15:48:20

Cremation is not very ecological. If cremation, then simple coffin, willow or plain pine, no toxic varnishes, and no fancy handles, etc.

Natural burial for me. Simple non toxiccoffin, one native tree planted on top, no polystirene flower holders- and a forest when all spots are taken.

Fleurpepper Wed 03-Jan-24 15:49:00

What do your friends think will happen to their bodies in the ground??? Remain just as, and ready for a new life?

fancythat Wed 03-Jan-24 15:52:35

Masses of space in the countryside for burials.
Every about 100 years, a Parish will buy a new small field next to an existing graveyard.
Cremation pots or whatever they are called, are placed around the outside walls of it.

Bella23 Wed 03-Jan-24 15:52:58

I was dragged around cemeteries from as young as I can remember. I never visit any now.
We decided during Covid it would be cremation.
I saw the archaeology at Cardiff and Alice Roberts last night in the North visiting places I know well, it did make me reassess until logic set in and there will be videos and records without digging people up and surely where they are buried was consecrated ground to them why should it not be consecrated now?

BlueBelle Wed 03-Jan-24 15:54:22

I will be cremated I have realised how difficult it is to keep family graves looking nice and I don’t want anyone having that chore My family is dotted overseas so it would all fall to one daughter and I don’t want that, so I have opted for a very simple cremation
Cremation doesn’t destroy a soul if we have one
I don’t know what I believe in and I guess if you don’t have a strong belief there is nothing for you afterwards anyway
(punishment for not believing without question)
Burial may be composting but graveyards are just graveyards not farms

hollysteers Wed 03-Jan-24 16:05:49

Fleurpepper

What do your friends think will happen to their bodies in the ground??? Remain just as, and ready for a new life?

My ashes will be scattered, so rising up like this would be tricky😁👍

Calendargirl Wed 03-Jan-24 16:08:19

I agree with BlueBelle about keeping family graves nice. I realise that after I have died or even when I can no longer tidy them that my grandparents grave, in a little country churchyard, will just go to rack and ruin. Even graves in municipal cemeteries soon look very neglected if no one tends them.

It’s cremation for me.

MerylStreep Wed 03-Jan-24 16:13:28

Both our bodies are down for donation providing they are still in a decent state. So far so good 👍
The family can have the bodies back after 3 years if they wish.

HelterSkelter1 Wed 03-Jan-24 16:19:28

A friend has recently had a simple cremation for her husband. Cant remember the term but the deceased is taken to the crematorium by the undertakers and there is no service etc. You receive the ashes at a later date.
She said she felt sooo relieved not to have to organise any thing more complicated and her family were in agreement.

That sounds absolutely fine and something I would choose. The family can have a get together at a later stage at a date and location of their choice.

So cremation for me and anyone else I may have to choose for. I am not religious and am also concerned about use of land for graveyards. A burial at sea would be good. But not a likely solution.
I dont think archeologists will need to dig up our bones. There is enough information stored about us and nothing is left to be found out.

Septimia Wed 03-Jan-24 16:34:35

As an archaeologist and a churchwarden I am, of course, in favour of church funerals and burials. And I don't want my wedding ring removed when I'm buried - it's part of my identity.

I'm sure I won't get much sympathy, but many small rural churches like ours need all the income they can get (our regular income is less than our outgoings) from funerals, weddings and social events. Our churchyard is a beautiful, tranquil place full of birdsong and our church building is nearly 900 years old.

PestyOne Wed 03-Jan-24 17:20:48

My body is to be donated to medical science - filled out all of the forms with regional teaching hospital and have my intention of wishes detailed in my will.
As part of the hospital protocol, if the body can't be taken or used due to lack of storage or that they have enough bodies to last & facilitate teachings for a good while; they will arrange a simple cremation at the cost of my estate.
I also have a 'no funeral directive' in place with my will and separate intention of wishes.

This decaying old carcass has served me well, I'll have no need of it once I've passed and would like to help medics to train and larn from it if at all possible.

Without going into detail here, these arrangements will make administrative processes for Estate Executor Solicitor much easier and simpler.

Cabbie21 Wed 03-Jan-24 18:20:17

My husband had a woodland burial, with a Christian service. It was beautiful. Several of the family have now said they would opt for the same, even those who thought they had wanted to be cremated.

hollysteers Wed 03-Jan-24 18:31:10

A friend opted for no funeral at all and I mentioned to my DD that that rather appealed to me now, no fuss for the family either. She was really upset, which proves that a funeral is often more for the family than the deceased.

JaneJudge Wed 03-Jan-24 18:34:45

We are both going to be cremated and the kids can do whatever they want with our ashes

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 03-Jan-24 18:38:06

I will be buried with my Mum in a country churchyard (I arranged for a double grave). My husband, like my Dad, favours cremation. My Mum’s and my grandparents’ graves nearby are tended and I know that my son will continue that arrangement for as long as he can. After he’s gone, who knows? Maybe my grave will be taken over by the lovely primroses and cow parsley which have colonised the oldest, untended graves. Maybe many years hence my bones will be dug up and examined, but that would be a very long way into the future and I won’t care. My soul will be elsewhere.

Iam64 Wed 03-Jan-24 18:44:38

Mr i wanted to be buried (well ideally he’d have liked a Viking send off), I’m thankful we’d talked about this and other things before the devastating diagnosis and his death 6 months later. We have a woodland burial site 3 miles from home, in a beautiful wild area we’ve walked together for over 40 years. We chose a plot and he was buried there. I’ll join him at some point. I visit ‘him’ , taking the dogs to see him. It’s a beautiful peaceful place, yes the dogs are on lead, not least because the deer and small furry animals are ever present. Our florist made me a Christmas wreath the deer won’t eat. I often leave a few flowers from the garden, deer, small furry creatures nibble, there’s something rather lovely about the sharing.