Too young for Alcohol?

Many years ago I wrote my dissertation on culture and society in England in the 16th Century. Interestingly, the English had a (deserved) reputation for drinking to excess even then. In comparison, the French, as others have mentioned, introduced their children to alcohol from a younger age. Generally speaking they have a far healthier approach to alcohol, so I think it is better that young people are gradually introduced to alcohol rather than being let loose at 18.

I think they are doing the right thing and he is being enabled to see drinking alcohol in a balanced, integrated way, not as something that is taboo (and therefore to be coveted and taken in excess in secret, or when turning the legal age). My Belgian grandmother used to have a glass of chartreuse every afternoon at around 3.00pm and even as young as 3 I had a few teaspoons at the bottom of a tiny glass. I HATED the taste but I had it to keep Grandma company. When I was legally old enough to drink I never wanted too much and while I maybe have a little too much red wine on occasion, I have never been 'off my face'. What is forbidden only becomes more fascinating.

I must have been born in a different generation (and perhaps social grouping) to many on here. MissA I don't often disagree with you, but I'm not at all sure what you mean by your reference to folks from council estates cos lots of my friends in the 60s lived there, and most were perfectly nice kids.

I drank alcohol far earlier than I should have done, but not to excess, and have no idea if my parents knew (although they always seemed to know everything else about me!). I sang in a Folk Group which played in the local pubs (well before I was 16) and such music was always a big part of my life.

My entire family drank alcohol. My GD was a pub pianist and was "paid" in free pints.

I didn't taste wine till well into my 20s (it simply didn't exist in my social circle), and have always enjoyed it. Yes, there have been times when I have drunk more than I should (stress, social circle etc.) but curbed it well for many years. I now only drink low alcohol stuff. Even in the years that I drank too much I was never drunk. My DD used to joke that when he was courting my DM he could never have his wicked way with her till they were married cos six whiskies had no effect on her!!!

My DDs both experimented with alcohol in their teens. It didn't bother me cos I knew it was a phase and could have been a phase of a much more serious kind (yes, I knew several experimenters with drugs in the 1960s - I never even smoked a joint). My DDs hardly drink at all now, usually something "novel" like spritzers. My eldest DD has two almost-teenagers and she and her DH are the best parents on earth. Her DH was a "typical teenage boozer" having a bunch of friends in the Police Force (not meant to be prejudiced!). So far I'm not aware that either of the kids have been offered alcohol, and if they are I consider it none of my business and really not too bad a thing in the grand scheme of things that can go wrong with teenagers.

My DH's dad was a staunch Methodist and his first encounter with a pub was in his 60s and he expected to see sawdust and spitoons! He chose to drink a sherry and knocked an entire schooner back in one. Three sherries later and he had to be taken home. What an embarrassment that was. He was the youngest of eight children so no idea how he reached that age without having had a drink or two.

Of course there is no guarantee that how kids are brought up will encourage or prevent bad habits as adults, but I wouldn't have thought a couple of shandies ever week was an issue.

When I was 16 I went to stay with a French family who had an 18 month old son who used to have diluted wine at mealtimes. He is now a doctor.

To be fair I'm totally tea total and I'd recommend this method rather than wait for him to "explore" it with his friends. My son had his first sip of Sherry at new year and recently had a half bottle of lager. He liked the Sherry but didn't like larger. But he also understands it's something you drink in serious moderation. Even though his dad had told him he could finish the glass of sherry (very small one) he didn't he only had a bit to toast been first foot at someone's house. Instead he had a taste then decided because I was the only sober one at new year that he wants going to drink no more because he wanted to be responsible. Not making an issue about alcohol is perfectly acceptable and to let them have it with a meal is a good way to teach them to pace themselves not to drink on an empty stomach and that it's nothing special.

As long as he's at home with his parents, he can drink alcohol from the age of 5, believe it or not. Not sure about being out fishing, though, as that's a public place. Even then, I think the law covers buying, selling or providing alcohol to a minor, so I guess his parents would be the ones carrying the can even if the police decided to prosecute.
This is really a matter for his parents, unless you're his legal guardian. You may think it's unwise to introduce a child to alcohol (I certainly do - he'll have enough temptations presented to him by his peers without his parents joining in) - but it really isn't up to you. It's up to them.

This actually made me think of a family I know who had four kids. First two were brought up not been able to have alcohol at all until they hit 18, the second two were allowed it with a meal and special events from 16. The oldest ended up in hospital on his 18th birthday because he drank himself to oblivion, he became an alcoholic and died in his 30's the second started at 18 and just never stopped. Became a Binge drinker by 19 and is now homeless due to the drink issues he has. The younger two however really don't care a lot about drinking, will have the odd one socially but aren't too fussed if they go without. They know when to stop and they are both in high flying jobs. Id be devastated if I stopped my son exploring in safety. I'd rather buy him drink so he knows what is in it and make sure he doesn't overdo it when he tries it then wait for him to think he's missing something and get so drunk it makes him ill or he develops an addiction.

Georgesgran

Perhaps you should start a new thread FranA.
This thread from February last year is more about adults giving children alcohol, whereas you seem to have made that decision yourself.

ONCE AGAIN THEY’RE NOT LOOKING AT THE DATE. 🤦🏼‍♀️

My parents gave me my first drink of wine on my 16th birthday saying we prefer you to have a drink in the house rather than in secret (my dad was tee total !). I think this was a brilliant thing to do, as I wasn’t at all impressed by alcohol and to this day only ever have an occasional glass of wine

Not a problem for me, I think the parents are acting responsibly by allowing him a drink while under their 'supervision'. They are getting him used to having a drink with a meal, far better he has had first taste of alcohol with responsible adults in an open way rather than secretly with friends.

I have to say, that we always did this with our son so that he could do it in a safe environment and it wouldn't feel like an exciting forbidden fruit that he would have to sneak about and get behind our backs.I think they are trying to treat him as a young adult and teaching him to be responsible with drink.As long as they are not plying him with booze and buying him drink after drink, I don't see anything wrong.

🍷🍷🍷

Smileless2012

Perhaps they prefer him to have a larger when he's with them so he wont feel the need to drink with friends when his parents aren't around DollyD.

I'm glad you've bitten your tongue as this is between your D, s.i.l. and their son.

It’s op’s son not her dsil

I was brought up in a family that frowned upon alcohol. Every Christmas my nana mother and my auntie would drink ginger wine thinking it was a herbal drink. It was only years later when my elderly mother wanted me to buy her a bottle each week that I told her it was the same potency of a normal bottle of wine! Ps....I'm not like my family as l like alcohol!

It is allowed with a meal age 14 or over

I feel it is a sensible way to introduce alcohol , they will feel the effects with no harm. For some their first time with alcohol is half a bottle of vodka in a park, very dangerous.

I'm a perfectly nice kid who lives on a council estate, Madmeg.
So, nothing at all nasty meant, I was just wondering if people would find it responsible if it was dad and son sharing a few cans of lager, on a council estate.

I can remember the times when kids were not allowed in pubs - just pub gardens
nowadays children of all ages are allowed in pubs . It is the new normal
supermarkets sell alcohol - not the off licence's when I was a kid
so once pandora's box has been opened you can't close it
At least the child is supervised

Did pubs have two bars?
One that allowed children in, and one where it was over 18s only?

hazelnuts

There is a great deal of evidence and there was an article In Sunday Times a few months ago on the detrimental affect alcohol has on teenage brains . Sorry unable to find article now but if you google alcohol and teenage brains it will bring up the information.
Obviously the parents are in charge but they may not know about this research, diplomacy essential if after reading you think they should be aware.

Caffeine is even worse though apparently all these drinks like red bull and energy drinks which are high in caffeine are very dangerous to the young brain.

one bottle of week lager is harmless very low percentage and can legally be enjoyed in a restaurant from the age of 16 but not purchased. It has to be purchased by an adult. The football game is another issue it should not be purchased for him there.

Mojack26

It is allowed with a meal age 14 or over

Incorrect I am afraid you have to be 16 or 17 now.
Someone aged 16 or 17 and accompanied by an adult, can drink (but not buy) beer, wine or cider with a meal at a licensed premises (except in Northern Ireland).

Could be worse they could be buying him lager

The original op refers to the grandson being given lager.
Alcohol is alcohol, is alcohol, surely?

Another old thread- GC in question is almost 17 now. Wonder if he's still only drinking 'larger?'

Probably larger amounts now?