Suspected autism in 12 year old granddaughter.

eazybee

Teachers see children in the context of all the other children, and although they do recognise problems they are often contained by the boundaries which schools are able to set. Secondary school is much tougher but the rules are there for a reason and home must support them. Sometimes, I am sorry to say, parents give up too easily and expect a diagnosis will solve the problem , which it won't; it may identify it, Strategies will be given but they have to be followed by home and school and it is not easy.

Whether she has a “condition” or “syndrome” at all (and I hope she doesn’t and this is something else), the point remains that she will still be expected to follow the rules of whichever school she attends.

Reasonable adjustments doesn’t equal “getting your own way”. It’s a tough lesson to learn whatever may or may not be wrong with her. Sadly sometimes behavioural issues are down to misguided, but loving, parenting.

My 12 year old granddaughter has always been a bit of a problem, although lovely with it smile, she was been suspended from her last school because of her defiant behaviour, ie why should SHE follow the rules like everyone else has t

She can only be Y7 or possibly Y8, a time of changes, adjustment and hormonal changes too.
I'm surprised her previous school couldn't work with her, her parents and the school counsellor to find a way forward for them all.

Callistemon21

^My 12 year old granddaughter has always been a bit of a problem, although lovely with it smile, she was been suspended from her last school because of her defiant behaviour, ie why should SHE follow the rules like everyone else has t^

She can only be Y7 or possibly Y8, a time of changes, adjustment and hormonal changes too.
I'm surprised her previous school couldn't work with her, her parents and the school counsellor to find a way forward for them all.

I guess they might have tried or she just might have too disruptive to other students, who do have a right to an education without being constantly disrupted.

I do hope she gets whatever help she needs and this might be a bit of a wake up call for her.

My own youngest daughter was a complete nightmare at secondary school all the way through! I worked as closely with the school and supported them whenever possible, it turned out years later that she does have a serious mental health issue, but now, at 23, she accepts that even with “issues”, school (and indeed work and society) have certain rules and there’s consequences for not adhering to them.

This is indubitably frivolous and inappropriate but when I saw it today it brought this thread to mind.

Aveline

This is indubitably frivolous and inappropriate but when I saw it today it brought this thread to mind.

🤣🤣🤣

The red-faced, screaming, thrashing starfish toddler, arms and legs going in all directions!
Worse is the breath-holder!

I never had a tantrum like the one shown. I'd not have dared! As for walking out of school - simply unimaginable.

Aveline

This is indubitably frivolous and inappropriate but when I saw it today it brought this thread to mind.

What your picture brought to my mind was memories of my young friends son at that age. He’s been in a school for Autistic children for 5 years. He will never be able to live independently.

Aveline

I never had a tantrum like the one shown. I'd not have dared! As for walking out of school - simply unimaginable.

I did, apparently it was legendary.
However, it was just the once, in a bakers shop because my mother said I couldn't have the cream cake I wanted.

There are three autistic children in our family all of whom are at different points on the scale.

The behaviour being described by the OP doesn’t remind me of any the autistic behaviour I’ve seen from any of them.

Aveline, can you actually remember being about 2?

I definitely would not’ve dreamed of walking out at school or of displaying any of the other nonsense teachers have to put up with nowdays.

Many people with autism follow rules absolutely. I can well remember when the law regarding booster seats came into being. My g.son (autistic), big for his age refused to go into the car until his parents provided a booster seat (which he did not actually need).
Not accepting that rules apply to you is much more a sign of stroppy teenage than an actual neurodiverse problem.
How strong is discipline in her own, 12.- 14 year olds are so often in the business of 'pushing' the boundaries as hard as possible. Usually they really want those boundaries to stand firm and the adults to be in charge - but so many parents seem to think that setting and keeping such boundaries is not permitted these days. It is!!!!

Granmarderby10. Actually I can remember being two! My mother had twins 15 months after I was born and I can clearly remember going to their christening for example. It was a very strict household we lived in. Strictly no nonsense. I was very lucky to have lovely grandparents to escape to.

Just came back to see if Trisher has responded, disappointing when posters don’t return.

Jaxjacky

Just came back to see if Trisher has responded, disappointing when posters don’t return.

Not a word.

Strange, that 🤔