Retiring as a solo female

Retirement was forced on me when the first lockdown happened. I worked part-time on a ward in an NHS hospital and because I was over 70 I was told, along with others in the same boat, that we could not return to work until the virus had gone. When the 2nd lockdown was predicted for late 2020 I was contacted by the hospital and told they would no longer employ over 70's to work in a high risk environment. It took me a long time to come to terms with that. I have joined lots of groups and societies and spend a lot of my time looking after grandchildren. Left to me I would still be working but I count my blessings that I have a lovely family, good friends, neighbours and ex-work colleagues who I meet up with regularly. Compared to so many others I am very fortunate and give thanks for that.

I retired at 60; I was exhausted after 38 years of work I was a qualified nurse, and worked full time other than 2 maternity leave breaks. I did not realise that the state pension for my age group had been changed yet again the year before I retired. My work pension was sufficient until I reached 66.
I did miss work! But I was so glad to rest, have a lie in every day if I wished. I could not have worked another 6 years.
I started sewing, got involved in my garden, and finally started to enjoy life.

I was a bit nervous about missing the daily structure of work and chats with colleagues. In fact, I found it was a great relief to retire. For the first week of retirement I slept a lot as I was exhausted. Then I woke up one morning and realised I felt a great weight lifted from my mind. I never had to be exhausted and stressed by a job again. It was a strange but very strong feeling.
I have never felt lonely or bored. I used to be bored as well as stressed at work.

One day I thought I would visit my former place of work and my former colleagues. However, half way to Manchester, I had a headache the like of which I hadn't had since I retired. Message received. I turned round and drove home and have rarely had a headache in the 20+ years since then. I became a CAB adviser which lasted for 11 years. I joined U3A and formed a writing group I'd been a NWR member for many years. Good friends made my retirement happy and easy.

I was so relieved to retire since I could no longer cope with the commute anymore. However, I never had a period where I was grieving or mourning the loss of my career.

In your case, you were going through 2 major losses at the same time; the loss of your good health since you were diagnosed with breast cancer and the loss of your career due to retirement on ill health. That must be very hard especially if you are on your own.

At first, I was worried that I would feel isolated since the only friends I have are my former colleagues. However, I managed to make new friends through the Zumba Gold exercise classes whom I meet up regularly for coffee in addition to meeting my former colleagues.

Found the lack of structure or routine challenging. Nowadays all my appointments are booked in late mornings or afternoons and not early mornings.

So far, managed to avoid watching daytime tv by keeping myself busy with learning Arabic, reading books, tried new recipes etc.,

Charley 68 and Sabrina. I was a qualified nurse too and left the profession at the age of 54 to sail round the world for 5 years onboard a luxury cruise ship. I was their Training & Development manager training the officers and crew. I tried to re-enter nursing on a Return to Nursing course when I came back to the UK, but they make it nigh on impossible unless you have a partner to support you whilst you study and work but earn nothing for 6 months. They were happy for me to give them 500 hours of my time whilst I also worked full time to pay my bills, then told me I’d have to quit my job and study full time before they’d pass me. I was just too exhausted to do more! I thank my lucky stars when it came to the pandemic that I was out of the firing line even though I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. I did enjoy not having to prove to DWP that was spending 30 hours a week looking for a job. No more interviews for jobs that paid peanuts. No more rejections - bliss! I didn’t realise until I reached state pension age at 66 that I could have been drawing in my nursing pension from the age of 55! I had 11 years of back pay suddenly appearing in my bank account - I felt like I’d won the lottery!

Interesting to read everyones story. I'm still running a small business because I didn't see the point of stopping but I'm starting to yearn for a freedom from it so interesting to know how others have got on.

Enjoy grandmabatty!

Enjoy ! And to do that I found I needed some structure and real things to do and engage with, and to get me to mix with other people. U3A has helped me do those things, along with various projects. Good luck to the OP - I hope you find a rewarding life in your retirement - with enough resilience to manage the things you find a challenge and openness to good things which come along.

How about cancelling retirement?
Just continue working with opportunities to cut back hours. There is so much wasted talent not being made full use of and many of us who would like to continue, in order NOT to feel worthless etc. And what about pension money? Many of my friends are extremely wealthy and are receiving enough money from the state between them, to put right the NHS, schools etc overnight and they wouldn’t even notice if they didn’t have it! I personally feel it’s insulting to have freebies handed out, unless really needed, just because we are ‘old’.

I retired at 59 due to 2 health problems. One is now cured but the other is ongoing. Really enjoyed not working and spent time decluttering, visiting friends and family and going away in our caravan. When OH retired we moved to the seaside where I'm busy with hobbies. Our family often stay for weekends. Also, we travel back to see family at least once a month and have 2 dogs for company here. Nice friendly neighbours to chat to so never feel alone.

I retired 20 years ago and loved having the time to follow my interests, meet friends, etc. However, from having a good social life I am now down to 1 friend who I see weekly but spend the rest of the time alone. I am slowly losing my sight and hearing, can no longer drive which makes life difficult as there are no buses within my limited walking distance and, to be honest, I am unwell and lonely. How things change.

Are we still bumping?

My mantra is I’m grateful…. Very grateful for being well and fit enough to enjoy retirement as others are not so lucky.

Really interesting reading everyone’s comments.
I’ve learned we are all different. I love driving, so will take myself off for days out, weekends away, train trips into London. My friends wouldn’t dream of doing anything on their own. It happened for me because my friends are married, I’m single with 2 DDs and 3 Gds who live 5 mins away but have busy lives. I wanted to go to an event one day and had no one to go with so I decided to go along on my own, I’ve never looked back. I do have a good friendship group that I think when you’re single is important. There’s a big wide world out there and whilst I’m able bodied and financially able to I’m going to explore it. I’m sure it will all fall into place for you very soon. 🌸

Gumtree

How about cancelling retirement?
Just continue working with opportunities to cut back hours. There is so much wasted talent not being made full use of and many of us who would like to continue, in order NOT to feel worthless etc. And what about pension money? Many of my friends are extremely wealthy and are receiving enough money from the state between them, to put right the NHS, schools etc overnight and they wouldn’t even notice if they didn’t have it! I personally feel it’s insulting to have freebies handed out, unless really needed, just because we are ‘old’.

How old are you Gumtree?

Well, retiring, where do I start …..
I was apprehensive in the weeks leading up to leaving work as I was worried I would miss the social side and also with being on my own, that I would be lonely.
I think so much of what we are is defined by what we do and I was worried I would be nothing, really.
However, I was given a marvellous sendoff with lots of gifts, best wishes, cards, flowers, hugs, kisses - a lovely leaving do and I felt really loved when I left work.
So starting with the reality that this is now life, I wondered how I would feel.
However, two months in and I’m surprisingly alright with it actually. I have sufficient pension to enjoy life, holidays, meals out, weekends away - that sort of thing.
I try and get out and walk every day.
I volunteer as an usher at my local Theatre so I see lots of productions free of charge! I’m going to go back to Pilates next week and I’m fortunate enough to live near my family so I enjoy seeing my grandchildren regularly and they are such a joy! ❤️
I also have plenty of lie-ins and late nights and the freedom to please myself!!
And I am lucky enough so far to still have my health.
So all in all, I think this retirement lark is going okay.
Good luck to anybody about to retire.
Take one day at a time, just chill and enjoy a slower pace of life x

I was retired whilst my OH was alive, but unfortunately he was not well so that took up a great deal of my time. But I kept up with the choir I run and also a choral society, so that they would still be there for me after his death.

Since then I have joined the local U3A which has been very positive, and as well as joining in various groups, I run concert trips for them. And I do lots of other things too, such as organising publicity, writing/designing concert programmes, helping to run a village organization, trustee of the village hall, picking up GC from school etc.

All these things keep me engaged with life, but I do still find it hard. I go to things and really enjoy them, but I still go home on my own, while many others go home as couples. I do not think I will ever get used to that.

I was on my own over the whole of the Bank Holiday weekend - family all away, friends off doing stuff with their families. It hurts sometimes.

I had retirement forced onto me because of stress at work etc. It took me about 2 months of being a couch potato to realise that I just couldn’t go back to the job. So I retired but I wish now that I had tried to get another job. I was 62 at the time and the extra money would have made such a massive difference to my life. Hubby received a massive amount in the form of an inheritance but he spent it on what he wanted. Selfish I thought at the time but we had only been married 7 years at the time and it was from his parents. I don’t have much in savings now and I am 72 years old. BUT I do love doing my crafts which I can get really involved with and totally enjoy. I don’t have any immediate friends in the area and I do get days when I am crippled with loneliness. I battle with depression on a daily basis while hubby keeps himself busy in his man cave. I hope you enjoy every day of your retirement. Hugs.

leapyearnan this doesn't help you since you're already retired but I was browsing in W H Smith books after work one day, many years ago and I came across the retirement advice section. One book was entitled, 'Men Who Retire Without a Plan...' (I won't add the final word of the title. Luckily, I'm not a man! Basically, it said that, for a man to go from a life defining job, feeling needed, occupied, responsible, valued, having a routine, a reason to get out of bed, etc. to nothing is very risky indeed.

Anyway, many replies on here advocate finding a hobby, U3A, friendship group, that kind of thing, after retirement. The point is, people approaching retirement need to make plans and act on them right now. Find a hobby you love right now, set up and maintain friendship groups, research volunteering if that appeals, dust off your sewing machine and get it serviced, sort out your tool box, tidy the shed, make a list of jobs you don't have time for right now.

If you're approaching retirement, plan for it now!

I volunteered with WRVS and took elderly people for shopping or took elderly people to Appointments that they didn't have transport to go to. I also helped deliver Meals on Wheels with the team.
I loved that as I met lots of people that I wouldn't have met otherwise

I love retirement and do Yoga, Tai Chi, and have done intensive drawing and painting courses so have met loads of lovely artists. And take advantage of Zoom by doing a 2 hour call every week. We have Art Open Houses, Festivals, Sunday Assembly and a jolly good library with lots of events. There is so much on offer that is free or doesn't cost very much ie U3A.. if you look for it.. I live alone but enjoy that, just need to get a social life outside my home. I hope you enjoy your retirement..

I retired in January and definitely feel as though I’m still adjusting. Like so many others I had become unhappy at work mostly due to high stress levels. The first month was a shock as I didn’t immediately feel the release I expected and still rushed around at a million miles an hour. However I’m definitely slowing down now and looking forward to spending the summer in my garden. All my plans of joining groups and looking for voluntary work are on hold and I’m relishing the fact that that my time is my own and not being accountable to anyone. My DH passed away 6 years ago and this was definitely not the retirement I expected when I was younger but it’s the one I have and I’m lucky to have my health and supportive family around me.

I was a single parent to 1 daughter who married and had her own family. I gradually reduced my working hours, & income obviously, so by the time I actually retired Xmas Day 2020 I was doing a 3 day week, and knew I’d cope with just my state pension. Having worked during the first year of Covid, the lockdown, online communication with family and friends, I was pretty sure I’d be ok once I retired. Glad to say I was right. I read, knit, see friends and family and am happy with my own company. I still have my elderly step mum nearby who I see at least every other day, and my even more elderly mum who I phone every day as she lives 200m away. Life is ok 🥰

I also loved it immediately! Not having to set an alarm clock seemed the most wonderful thing to me. I had time to do anything I wanted and am lucky enough, living in London, to have a million things on my doorstep (i.e. free museums, walks etc). I can understand it would be a lot different if you are living somewhere more remote but I have never been busier.

I loved retirement from day one, l was 61 when l went over the wall ! Now 4 years in and still feel the same, absolutely no regrets.