Retiring as a solo female

I am relieved to hear that I'm not the only one feeling uncomfortable with retirement. It sounds as if I need to be patient and optimistic to get through this new lifestyle. For me, work has always been easier than life. Lack of motivation is what I struggle with but I will get over this eventually. Sometimes I feel as though I am grieving the loss of the person I was and trying to find myself now.

I took early retirement 10years ago at the age of 60. Being a WASPI meant Himself & I divvied up his lump sum on retirement to see us through those first 6 years. My lump sum was tiny by comparison so it went on manicures/hair salon/treating the grandchildren. I’m lazy by nature so retirement suits me down to the bluddy ground. We live in a small town centre apartment - very buzzy and I love it - but no garden to tend to, pets aren’t allowed, I have no crafting or (god forbid) exercise-type hobbies. Yet I love being retired.

I love reading. And can find myself ‘busy doing nothing’ 🎶 🎵
Childcare has never featured (lucky lazy me). I love children. But couldn’t eat a full one. I love my life. I used to go to Málaga frequently (we own a tiny apartment there bought 20y ago) but sadly Himself attends Christie’s regularly so that’s pretty much stopped for now. ‘Seize the Day’ indeed. None of us know what’s round the corner. Good thing sometimes.
#lazygran

The OP asks though about solo retirement. I expect that’s a whole different experience. There’s a fine line I imagine between being alone and being lonely. Some individuals are quite happy in their own company. Others are more social animals. If you are one of the latter group I suppose you have to put yourself ‘out there’ as no-one is going to knock on and ask are you playing out? Good luck OP. I hope you enjoy a long and happy retirement. Whatever your preferences.

I retired early at 50 to help out with family and my husband was able to retire then too. As it turns out that was a good move as he now is ill and unable to take part in life really.

We travelled took a language course not much learning but so much fun. We walked all the places we wanted to visit and had lovely overnights in beautiful hotels all over Scotland ate out in very good restaurants and generally had a wonderful time I’d think solo will be just as enjoyable. Make your plans and go for it. Retirement is just another chapter in your book . Enjoy it.

My ‘retirement’ happened slowly as I am a free lance professional classical singer and always had long periods without work. My teaching petered out caring for my DH with dementia/cancer and then I had two bouts of cancer.

I have very busy patches as I still sing, returned to painting in lockdown, enjoy joining things and travel, often alone. It’s easier for me as a widow as DH and I had different interests and he was a lot older. Yes, the house can be lonely, but a pet helps, cat in my case and the DC stay regularly.
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It’s so true that it’s up to us to organise our life, no life is perfect but there is so much to enjoy. I went on my own recently to a cinema live ballet performance, first time and loved it. Also matinees of local productions.
Find a passion!

I worked full time 40 hours a week up to the day I retired eight years ago so it was all a bit odd at first. Initially I felt vaguely guilty as if I was bunking off school. I was amazed the first time my pension appeared in my bank account without me having to do any work. I had planned and pre-booked a long haul walking holiday before I left work so I started by walking every day to build up my stamina. It was the first holiday I had ever taken on my own with a small group and I was very nervous. I did however thoroughly enjoy it and when I returned home I finally realised my days in the office were over for good. It was very liberating, if a bit daunting. All that unstructured time. In fact I volunteered with the RVS, a job I still do for four hours once a week, and subsequently got a volunteer job as a receptionist one day a week. What with that and a regular rambling group I now have structure, colleagues and friends and am busy and happy. I realise I am very lucky and can only hope it lasts. The oldest RVS volunteer in our cafe is 82 so fingers crossed!

No, loved it from day 1...I took early retirement 10 years ago, not regretted it. Im not a person who gets bored...Always something to do..

Our pension is not a “freebie” Gumtree - we’ve worked b….y hard, paying our taxes and NI to enable us to have that pension. - I assume that’s what you mean by “freebies”? Please come back and correct me if I’m mistaken, but it certainly comes across as you meaning that in your post, though. As for many people “being extremely wealthy* in retirement, well, I would say they are the minority, not the majority. The state pension on its own, Gumtree is hardly generous. Yes, there are some wealthy pensioners, but not that many, most pensioners get by, but could hardly be described as living in the lap of luxury, and there are others who survive on the bare minimum, sadly, and don’t even have the fortune of being comfortable. As for getting work post state retirement age, well, that’s easier said than done if you’re not still employed. Those who think ageism doesn’t exist in the employment world anymore, think again.

I worked with my dh on family business I retired before he did. I then helped with GC most work days as our son worked away. I did not have time to twiddle my thumbs I was exhausted!

My dh struggled when he retired because I was occupied he spent a lot of time on his own. As a family we encouraged him to get more involved with his hobbies and making new friends that helped a lot.
We get the balance about right now hobbies volunteering and family retirement is all about adjustment.

I was only a couple of months of 70 when I retired. Best thing was not having to set an alarm each night, worst thing was no money being put into my bank account at end of each month.

I thought I had prepared really well for retirement, attend several meetings on this and had a list of local social groups I wished to join. Also took on some charity work. shop and delivering kosher meals on wheels.

Sadly my two best friends were dead, one just before and one just after my retirement. I felt this badly - the three of us had so often planned what we would do together. For two years I tried really hard, joined u3a locally, and other specific interest groups and found none of them particularly welcoming and nobody in any of them seemingly looking (like me) to form new friendships.

Eventually gave up except for one discussion coffee morning each week and a knitting group.

Then I moved to a small seaside town, now nearly 80 determined to have another go. Less than five months there was hit by covid lockdown. Fortunate that daughter who lived there would take her 11 year old out each day (glorious weather),and I would meet up with them in the park or on the beach. When this lifted I joined local u3a and my life changed, This is a large branch with lots of different interest groups each week/month.

I did lower my expectations - no longer seeking new friends, but do have lots of aquaintenances, always somewhere to go to meet up, have some group I can tie each days' activities around.

I think this is the answer, think about what you are expecting to get (and to give) in your retirement. Organisations like u3a and obviously individual interest groups and (for those who can go along this road) the churches can all offer things to do people to meet, outings, etc etc. Some people at these do build new, great individual friendships, other (like me) do not as my friendships were all built on so many common experiences we shared whilst our children were small.

If anyone is quite healthy would definitely recommend some sort of charity work, shops/ hospitals, schools, animal sancturies, parks, etc. are always in need of more volunteer staff, and such volunteering can be a way of using one's own interests and knowledge further.

Enjoyed working with lovely people - but retirement is even better. I’ve never been so happy or relaxed. This is the life!

Never bored, never lonely. I also retired at the end of 2020 - nearly one year into Covid so I couldn’t go anywhere or be with anyone. Stayed home a lot, of course - which was what I had longed to do for a long time - finally got my wish, but still talked to my family and friends. We were all in the same boat!

I’ve never felt more relaxed and happier than in my retirement. Independence! I have made time to learn something new every single day through reading, traveling, socializing, or just plain TV/movies. Relax. Some of the best years of my life!

I hope you enjoy retirement as much as I am. Still delirious over it after 3+ years!

I’ve been retired from primary teaching for 4 years. Don’t miss the job, or my colleagues. After 2 years + Covid my husband died. I’ve now downsized and live in the North West instead of the South West. It’s liberating, waking up with days to fill as I please. I joined a few groups, but found far too many women fond of their own voices. After a couple of years up here, I can say I just like to be by myself, in my tiny home, pottering in the garden, reading, but most of all listening to stuff on Radio 4 or 4 Extra, or audio books, all via my brand new hearing aids. The only thing I miss is a sense of feeling useful. I don’t volunteer because I couldn’t bear being bossed about again, but will keep searching for a purposeful activity to do!