Friends?

Some people are tougher than others.
I think in this case the OP was seeking a bit of kindness and support .

I am so sorry to read your post, I understand. Sadly it looks like you had issues with, I assume, the same friend, back in Christmas 2022? Forgive me if I am wrong. If it is the same person, maybe, for your own sake, you should reevaluate your friendship …..just for your own peace of mind? Sending you belated birthday wishes x

Happy belated birthday Roobi, I’m sorry your friend didn’t contact you on the day. I can understand how it. made your everyday loneliness was made worse by a friend, I don’t agree with those that say you have unrealistic expectations, but I don’t think your friend is there for you really. Do something for you and if you can afford it book an indulgent spa break or treatment, take yourself off somewhere. You are far from the only one who as we get older have less people in our lives and I sometimes think no one would know if I was here or not, it’s hard but we have to keep trying new things.💐

I actually think the reply from your friend was nasty.

I turned 50 in January and 2 years ago, when my sister above me turned 50 (I'm the youngest of 4) after the fancy meal she had, she announced to family, she was no longer buying presents for any of her sisters! (Her birthday is Jan 1st!) She ignored all of ours, got a text, but that's it.

On my 50th, still a text, but I got chocolates off one sister and hand crocheted bedsocks off the other (she in NZ).

No one likes to be ignored if they have friends/family, even a text is better than nothing.

Happy belated birthday.

I guess you did hear from your friend just not when you needed to on the actual day. There are people out there who are like that - she sent you a card and a book, so what? But it was your special day and it left you feeling sad, lonely and let down not to mention disappointed. Also it makes you wonder, is this it for the rest of my life. No it isn’t and I think that’s what Welbeck was trying to say. There are other interests. however finding good friends isn't easy. As Emerson said ‘Every filled hour is a happy one”. Not sure about the happy but it takes your mind off thhings. Xx

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

Roobi
Just sitting hete waiting for some meringues to bake & read your post . Although it’s an old one now , I hope you aren’t feeling as low 👌
I totally agree with you re the ‘superior insight ‘ part . It happens every time I feign to post something on GN .
I have fads , fits & starts of both reading & posting . I feel that there are few and far between people posting without criticism of whatever you post about .

welbeck

Curtaintwitcher

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

That response to sympathy might give a clue as to why your birthday was ignored.

indeed

I too took your post as sympathetic, welbeck

I fully understood the reference to YouTube. My life is limited by ill health and You Tube allows me travel the world, without leaving the house..

That's why I love Race Around the World Marydoll. And old Michael Palin programmes!

Maybee, the only downside is that I get quite nostalgic and a little sad about the places I once loved to visit.

thank you Marydoll, and Curtaintwitcher.
i think there are some goady posts around, as they say on MN.
i'll think twice before trying to be positive next time.
c'est la vie, mon amie.

MayBee70

That's why I love Race Around the World Marydoll. And old Michael Palin programmes!

I have often said that I have seen the world with Michael Palin....and I now see more of it with Race Across the World!

What a world when sombody shows their hurt and vulnerablity, only to be swiftly dispached by some on GN.

I hope OP has found some kindness and a little light.

More a case of Race Around Sainsburys for me these days.

I didn’t see any nasty posts? Just a few Gnetters a little bit more intuitive than others, trying to reason why the OP was ignored.

Does the OP acknowledge her friends birthdays? She didn’t say did she. There is usually a reason why such hurtful happen.

I have a friend who was very upset and cross when she wasn’t invited to her niece’s wedding. I asked her what her relationship was like with her niece - “Oh I haven’t seen or spoken to her since she was little” was her answer.

Relationships can be odd things for sure.

I tend to agree with Poppyred.

I thought some posters were suggesting that it is a two way street, not nasty, but realistic.

In the last year, I have felt that my friends have withdrawn from my life.
There are a variety of reasons:, my ill health means I often have to turn down invites, they are heavily involved in childminding and the main reason, I haven't made much of an effort, becoming quite insular.
I have done a lot of thinking about it and I am as much at fault.

I see no superior or unkind comments on here, but plenty of honest and positive ones. (Which is why I joined Gransnet in the first place.)

I do not like birthdays now, they come around far too quickly, though I send greetings and presents to friends and family.

One thing I have learned is that you need to be your own best friend……other people will make you happy and fulfilled, but not always. We do not know what is going on on their lives or what they are worried about. If they do not come up to scratch there may be something we do not know about. If we can achieve a little bit of inner strength and resources then we can cope with disappointment.

Roobi, your friend did remember your birthday even though late. One week is not long really.

NanaTuesday

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

Roobi
Just sitting hete waiting for some meringues to bake & read your post . Although it’s an old one now , I hope you aren’t feeling as low 👌
I totally agree with you re the ‘superior insight ‘ part . It happens every time I feign to post something on GN .
I have fads , fits & starts of both reading & posting . I feel that there are few and far between people posting without criticism of whatever you post about .

I do know what you mean.

There is a long established, Soop thread, if that would help.

But I do wonder if there is a place for a maybe Gransnet Cafe thread, for like minded people like yourself and Roobi etc, to post in peace. If you see what I mean.