Friends?

Your friends reaction of “you’re joking…..means that she didn’t know how important this birthday was to you.

If your closest friend of 50 years doesn’t really know how you feel then it is understandable that others would not, I am not a birthday person but send to those that are, maybe nobody knows you are a birthday person.

Roobi

Also, don’t understand the reference to YouTube?

I have been through this thread now and can’t find any reference to YouTube especially not before 03.27
Please put me right somebody!

If someone chooses not to use WhatsApp or Facebook, or be able to get texts, that's not the fault of the senders either. Nowadays all of those things are easily available and have been for so long that most people have access to them.

Well, Doodledog as they’d say on Mumsnet, you do you, but please spare me the lessons in caring and sensitivity.

RosiesMaw

Roobi

Also, don’t understand the reference to YouTube?

I have been through this thread now and can’t find any reference to YouTube especially not before 03.27
Please put me right somebody!

Ask a beady eye ....
there's so much to discover, be amused, or amazed by, without even leaving youtube!
02.51

It was here RosiesMaw, Welbeck was making suggestions:

"Sorry you've been under the weather, but projecting these expectations onto others isn't going to help you."

"Maybe you can develop wider interests, or even niche ones, rather than ruminating in a negative way.
there's so much to discover, be amused, or amazed by, without even leaving youtube! I hope you will feel better."

Sorry, cross posts

I’m so sorry, roobi - no wonder you’re feeling rubbish. Please have belated 🎂🥂💐xx

Maggiemaybe

^If someone chooses not to use WhatsApp or Facebook, or be able to get texts, that's not the fault of the senders either. Nowadays all of those things are easily available and have been for so long that most people have access to them.^

Well, Doodledog as they’d say on Mumsnet, you do you, but please spare me the lessons in caring and sensitivity.

I don't know why you have taken against my posts on this thread. We have different opinions, and that's ok. What has my comment on WhatsApp etc got to do with sensitivity? Everyone on this thread is, by definition, IT literate and has either a smartphone, an iPad (or equivalent) or a computer. I'm not standing in the Post Office and shouting out that people without such things are in some way lacking.

Anyway, thanks for suggesting that I 'do me' (awful phrase). I usually do, and expect others to do the same without sniping at them if 'their being them' is different. I'm off this thread now, as far from making the OP feel better, this won't be helping.

Thank you NotSpaghetti slipped past me 😳😳

Your other good friends did nothing either.

Maybe it is what happens where you are, but it isnt here.

I assume they knew your birthday date?

welbeck

well, that's me slapped down.
i was actually trying to be positive, supportive.
no matter.
and thanks to Curtaintwitcher, Aveline, MOnica and BlueBelle.

We all understood the kindness you were expressing 😉

As was Doodledog - or so I thought!
I suggested WhatsApp too.

NotSpaghetti

As was Doodledog - or so I thought!
I suggested WhatsApp too.

Thanks, Not Spaghetti.

Maggiemaybe

Oh dear. Is it really so much trouble and effort now to remember a friend’s special birthday and acknowledge it, even if that friend’s living on her own and not on social media? I find that very sad.

Apparently we buy over 800 million cards every year in the UK, so plenty of other people must feel as I do.

Agreed.

Making time and effort, is all part of caring. In my opinion.

A thought in someone's head just doesnt cut it. At least amongst people I know.

Sending you good wishes anyway, Roobi. I hope things get better for you. Your friends are being a bit thoughtless aren't they.
So many of my friends have died or moved away and it's not easy making new ones. I'm lucky enough to see my family regularly, but friends are thin on the ground these days.
Good luck.

Life can be so cruel at times Roobi. Anyway a belated Happy Birthday to you. 💐

I have read on GN that special occasions like this are treated a little differently by some folks. I was impressed just before last Christmas when a few Posters said that they would be alone for the holiday. They had bought themselves a few small luxuries like chocolate, flowers, gift, special food and indulged themselves whilst alone. When my time comes to be alone I have decided I will do this.

I too was upset by someone who I thought was a friend. We met when our children were babies (they will soon be 50!). I moved away but we kept in touch and met up half way annually until COVID. Last year I was in Waitrose in the adjacent town to where I live and I suddenly saw this old friend. I immediately asked her what brought her there and she said they had bought a house it the town as a second home. I said how lovely we can meet up more regularly. I then asked her when they had got this second home and she said ‘a year ago’. 😳. A whole year and she had never told me, I was so upset. I have met her for lunch once which went well, but all has gone quiet and I am reluctant to suggest another meeting in case she has moved on from our friendship.

Saying something in a straight forward manner, which someone does not want hear, but is based on what they have posted is not unkind or nasty. It is exactly what it is: something the OP may not want to hear.

It is equally false to wrap someone in sympathy and care, when actually you think they are a fool. We are all adults on GN, we have many years experience of life and should by now be capable of taking the rough with the smooth. As thing are, we will soon have to type trigger warnings at the start of each post.

It is not what you say, but th way that you say it.

Roobi

Thanks,Welbeck - I haven’t been ‘under the weather’ and I have diverse interests. What possesses people on here to think they have this superior insight into others” lives? Groan.

You said you had been ill for 18 months. Presumably that is why "under the weather" was referred to ...and in a kind way!

Are you always this unfeeling M0nica? The poster needs a bit of TLC. Loneliness and rejection can be very upsetting, especially if you are on your own.

No I am not remotely unfeeling, but sometimes I say things people do not want to hear. I never do it until there have been plenty of people posting before me had been kind and sympathetic.

If I am in trouble or unhappy because of something I have contributed to, and I do not realise it, then I do not want lots of murmurs of sympathy I want someone to tell me where I have gone wrong so that I can consider the issue and act on it.

Why would anyone not want the same?

But the OP hasn't gone wrong? She has been ignored and feels sad.

💐Very belated Happy 60th Birthday Roobi 💐

Belated Happy Birthday

When I told ny friend I was disappointed not to hear from her, her response was, “you’re joking! I hope you regret saying that!”

I wonder if there was something going on with your friend that she thought you were aware of? Maybe have forgotten about? It seems a strange response.