Self centered mean daughter in law

I felt the same as dilly tbh. I would not commit to specific days and times and then have to cancel. I think she is being too over protective regarding them not being able to go to hospital appointments with you but they are her children so she has the last say on that really

Sorry if I missed it, but how old are the gc? Do the normally use car seats or boosters? Because I can see that definitely being an issue, as many kids are in some sort of safety seat until they’re seven (depending on height and weight).

She shouldn’t have raised her voice to you. You shouldn’t have agreed to drive your sister when you’d already made a commitment, imo. If the dr is only 15 minutes away, I’m guessing a cab or Uber would be an option.

As a parent, I’d be upset that my kid missed their gymnastics to sit in a car or dr’s office. That’s not what was agreed to, and to me, doesn’t have the same value as spending the afternoon at grandma’s. I’ve never known a dr to be on time for appointments, and specialist’s even worse, ime.

I also find her being drunk every night to be at extreme odds with her being an excellent mother, organized, etc.

MercuryQueen to my knowledge this mother doesn't work so why can't she take her own child to gymnastics on this one occasion? She sounds awful

rafichagran spot on! I can't believe some of these comments on here. Entitled or what! She doesn't deserve any help. I would leave her to it unless she's a danger to her children?

In one post you say your son stopped drinking and she gets buzzed on wine daily. Later you say she’s a good mom.

Gran32

rafichagran spot on! I can't believe some of these comments on here. Entitled or what! She doesn't deserve any help. I would leave her to it unless she's a danger to her children?

But the point is the DIL didn't ask for help!! She agreed to her child not doing gymnastics in order to spend time with Grandma, at Grandma's request. Son and DIL also asked Grandma to not take the child to hospital/Dr appointments; Grandma did regardless.

Added into the mix is very poor communication; very different views on styles of comunication; not listening to each other; alcohol issues; very different personalities; tempers being lost and a lot of emotion!

As far as I can see the options for the way forward are:

* Grandma carries on with Thursday care and promises to not cancel unless an absolutely unexpected emergency arises. And promises to follow whatever stipulation has been made by parents without exception
or
* Grandma stops the regular visits because she cannot do the above
and/or
* Grandma tells DIL she will not tolerate being shouted at even when she has done something that has annoyed them.
and/or
*Grandma suggests a calm conversation to sort out a way forward that works for them all (and walks out if shouted at)

I don't think DILs messages were rude; they were very direct and straight talking.

I do think DILs behaviour towards Grandma was rude and bullying clearly done in anger. I suspect that what with alcohol and possibly an upbringing where such behaviour is the norm might be in the mix but who knows!

OP - only you can decide what is best for you. But I suggest not just leaving it ..you need to take some control of finding a way forward that works for you, your Son/DIL and your grandchild! 💐

Gran32

MercuryQueen to my knowledge this mother doesn't work so why can't she take her own child to gymnastics on this one occasion? She sounds awful

The mom didn’t ask for help. OP wanted to spend time with her gc. Mom was doing OP a favour, not the other way around

mercuryqueen that's completely irrelevant. The gran was asking for a favour, one, and this woman ,the mother no less, couldn't bring herself to help. It's disgusting and she sounds dreadful. I'm glad she's not my dil

Ziggy62

I think the title of your thread says it all!

Yes it’s very accurate.

Perfectly stated.

That was to Madgran’s comment

nofrowns67

That was to Madgran’s comment

Thankyou! 😏