How do you cope when your children move away?

On a serious note, lots of Mums get very emotional when their children fly the nest.

It will get better, give it time, try and find something new and fulfilling to fill your days, take up a new hobby, read some new books, look up some old friends or join a club and make some new friends.

Best wishes

Kim19

They are only ours for a season. Set them free and they'll be back regularly. It worked for me.

Logic prevails!

It's hard.
Did he not go away to uni? I found that tough. First one and then the other. Then they bounced back at holidays and again for a year or so after graduating.
Each time they came home and left again I was sad but each time was slightly less awful than the first time.
If this is the first time he's left no wonder you feel bad.
It does get better but it's a new phase of life and to be frank, however full a life you have it's not like the golden years of having your children at home.

My two are happy and successful and I see them from time to time. I'm proud of them for the lovely young men they are but I miss them.

What do you mean by 'moving away?' - in the UK, 50 miles away, 200, 500?

I left home aged 19, when there was no computers, no cheap flights, and phone calls abroad cost a bomb. Initially for 6 months, which turned out to be 40. I so admire my parents who never complained and never made me feel guilty, ever. I visited once a year with the children, and they always came for Christmas as DH couldn't have time off, and in the Summer.

When we decided to move abroad, we discussed this a lot with ACs and they all said 'go for it' and we will all have a wonderful home from home in a place we love. No further than if we lived, say, in Devon, and they in Scotland. Cheap flights now, Whats'Up, etc, and we drive over a couple of times a year and they visit here too, and we also meet for joint holidays abroad. Many friends who have ACs and DCs in the UK, say we see our ACs and DCs more often than they do.

We have to accept that we love them more than they love us. It's how it should be. It's sad to think like that but we don't want to think of them being heartbroken when we are gone. I struggled with an empty nest for years and years and then I read a simple little saying, "Adapt and survive". I thought yes I have to adapt and I tried and it worked. I still miss the days of them being young and I think there will always be an ache, rather than a pain, in my heart.

I can talk sense to you, but you won¨t like it if I do.

For Heaven's sake, woman, you have healthy adult children doing jobs they like, living presumably where they want to, and still in touch with you.

Count your blessings and stop moaning.

Get on with your life. Did you really expect to be a mother-hen all your life? Do you want to be? We don't own our children. They are a gift and a job. We brought them into the world, brought them up, taught them to fend for themselves, and then we let them get on with living their lives.

Find something to take you out and about. Volunteer somewhere, make new friends, some or other charity near you is crying out for helpers. Find them.

It is an understandable feeling, especially with your childhood experiences and the fears they have left behind. Allow yourself to feel reassured when they come visit. Instigate a conversation that does not reply in haste but keeps a running friendly chat across the days. Follow their social media accounts to share their lives. It will become easier.

P.S. Forgot to add, in contrast to my mother’s situation, all three of my children and families , live within 6 miles of my house .

I left home aged 19, when there was no computers, no cheap flights, and phone calls abroad cost a bomb. Initially for 6 months, which turned out to be 40 years

Yes, one of mine went backpacking - that was 27 years ago! She's not still backpacking, of course, but settled overseas and her siblings followed her.
One returned and isn't very far away but we have to give them roots and wings.

Count your blessings and stop moaning.
Sounds harsh but counting your blessings is the best thing to do.

Areyou home yet? What is the actual distance?

Get a grip woman. How would you feel if your sons were in the armed forces on tours of duty to war zones. Every time the doorbell rang my late husband and I were sick in case it was the Pastoral care officer informing us they had been killed.

The OP is looking for sympathetic responses not harsh ones. Her feelings are totally valid.

It's an entirely natural reaction .
None of my children live in my area and they don't like it either .
I was completely devastated when my son and his girlfriend moved out of my house .
She was so demanding , but I was happy to be in their company .
I concentrated on my interests , hobbies and went out with friends -it's all that you can do .
Time is a great healer . It's okay to cry over it .
Take a deep breath and baby steps .