Does anyone still miss their parents?

Like Luckygirl my memories of parents, especially father, who was an horrible man, are not happy.
He is neither missed nor mourned. If only I could say otherwise.

I miss my parents and maternal grandparents more and more
I m tearing up now just thinking of them and I beat myself up about all I did wrong (nothing much really but all the why didn’t I do it that way or why did I say that? Etc)
My grandad died when I was 16 I adored him my Nan when Iwas nearly 40 we had such a strong bond
Mum and Dad died the same year 2012, 6 months apart it was a horrible year
I m an only child and they were my family, all gone.

Luckygirl3

Hang on to the memories. These good parents are part of you and always will be. Sadly I do not have good memories to treasure. But that's life.

Me neither.😢

Lately I have been thinking more and more about them. Sad memories keep resurfacing.

On a positive note, I hope my experiences have made me a better mother.

My dad died 53 years ago and I miss him every day. He would have been such a brilliant Grandad. All kids loved him he was like the pied-piper,every other word was a joke or a silly story.

I suppose part of it is hankering after those innocent days of childhood. The feeling of being loved and secure. And the lovely Christmases. I know this is ridiculous and how life is and I should be grateful for what I have (and I am.)
But I can honour them each and every day and know how lucky I was. I know so many people who had difficult relationships with their parents and tgst must be hard.

That's the only good thing Marydoll. No way was my child ever going to be treated like I was.

It has taken me a lifetime of therapy not to be the same kind of parent.

I watched a Mum and daughter yesterday. I realise it was only a snap shot but they looked so happy and comfortable together. The Mum had a lovely head of white hair, nicely dressed.The daughter ( mid 50's?) so caring of her mother, hand on the back, sharing a laugh and a joke.
I only had little glimmers of what this kind of thing could be like.

I can't imagine in my wildest dreams what a happy childhood with loving parents was like. Some of you were very lucky.

I'm ninety-three and still miss my parents in a way. I regret missed opportunities to relate to them. I often think about what my mother or my father would have said.

I never met my grandparents . But I think about all my ancestors for generations back in time.

My ‘missing’ of my parents is now not the intense grief it was when they first died, both around thirty years ago, but I often miss my father’s wisdom and humour, and that feeling of just ‘being’ with my mother. There was also that feeling of safety I got when going to my parents’ house, which was great when I was a young mother of three, though not so much after my mother died.
I would love to have been able to hear what they thought of our children as adults, and I often think they would have been pleased at how their grandchildren are being raised ( although big pots of soup not being always available would have been a problem for my father! )
I was delighted the other day to hear my grandson talk about ‘the lazy man’s burden’, and telling me it was what his dad’s grandpa used to say to him when he was trying to carry too much to avoid a second trip!

Yes very much so I think about both every day. Sometimes if certain situations come up I think oh what would you do in this situation dad. Nursed my mum n dad for years miss them dearly, I hope they are proud of me

BlueBelle

I miss my parents and maternal grandparents more and more
I m tearing up now just thinking of them and I beat myself up about all I did wrong (nothing much really but all the why didn’t I do it that way or why did I say that? Etc)
My grandad died when I was 16 I adored him my Nan when Iwas nearly 40 we had such a strong bond
Mum and Dad died the same year 2012, 6 months apart it was a horrible year
I m an only child and they were my family, all gone.

I’m like you BlueBelle. I miss both my parents a lot. My dad died in 2016 after a short illness (about a month) and he was ten days short of his 90th birthday. I missed him a lot, and still today I think of things I wish I had asked him. My mum died in 2022 aged 94, and I did lots for her after dad died, including bringing her to live in a sheltered apartment near to us. She was definitely not a perfect mum, in fact she did a lot of things wrong, but I loved her nonetheless and I believe she loved me. Like you BlueBelle I often think about the things that I didn’t do, instead of focusing on the things I did do. I miss them both so much, and I feel that I’m still grieving very strongly now. I often wish I could just go to see them again.

Kate1949

I can't imagine in my wildest dreams what a happy childhood with loving parents was like. Some of you were very lucky.

I’m so sorry to read that Kate1949. I hope you went on to have a happy and fulfilling life since then 💐

I miss my mum very much, my dad not so much, probably because he died so many years ago, and he was mostly always at work.

I have lots of guilt regarding the last part of my mums life, too, which doesn't help.

Thank you Gnw

No! Mine died in late 1990s /early 2000s. They never took much interest in me as a child - it was all about my sister who was good enough to give them grandchidren. So I allowed her to do all the ruinning around after them withut a shred of guilt. It may only be about 45 miles from Manchester to Liverpool but out of sight is out of mind.

Its my grandmother I still miss.

All I remember of my childhood is constant arguments, bickering, days & weeks of silences where they didn't speak to each other except via us. Grinding poverty, an angry, bitter and resentful mother and a house too small, old and dilapidated to accommodate the sheer number of us. The only thing I learnt from it was don't have more children than you can afford and don't involve your children in "taking sides". I've held my childhood as an excellent example of what NOT to do.

Not intensely, as such. They both died 23 years ago, aged 85 and 92, six months apart, and though very much loved and loving, they were worn out and ready to go. I felt relief for them in a way. I just wish I had been less busy with work and family and had been able to do more for them.
I have many happy memories.

I still miss my dad. He was strict but had a great sense of humour. He had a difficult life when he was young which, after his death, turned out to be a very interesting one. My mum had mental health problems as she aged and was quite difficult but my Nana was quite strict with her. I've no brothers or sisters but I've managed very well on my own especially in my younger days so I can't grumble.

Yes miss my parents every day - I consider myself very fortunate to miss them , it confirms my opinion that they were the best! How lucky was I!?

Yes most days they both died when I was in my early 30s but even now they are often in my dreams which I find comforting

Yes, they are missed and in my prayers.

Yes much missed, my dad died over 30 years ago and missed his GC’s wedding and GGC. My mum lived until 2012 and saw all the GGC arrive. I have thought I didn’t do enough for mum but the discovery of some diaries shows I was visiting her and speaking on the phone a lot, combined with GC care. No wonder my 50s and 60s passed in a flash.

My mum also died in January ( New Year’s Eve ) at 00.01 totally unexpected and yes I’m still grieving

Just the very thought of my lovely Mum and a smile appears on my face. Wistful but present. She was the most loving, unselfish and hard working person I've ever encountered. Not perfect but wonderful......