Does anyone still miss their parents?

I think about my dad and what a good kind man he was and after my DH passed away I thought that if there is any sort of after life then my dad would look after him for me.

It’s my parents’ birthday today and they’ve both been gone quite a while . My father died in 1984 when I was 32 and my mum in 2008 after a long struggle with dementia. I miss them both even though I am now in my 70s.

I just wish I could go back and ask them about their lives, their childhood, how they met etc etc. And wish I could forgive myself for leaving home at 17 and breaking their hearts. The older I get the more I regret how I treated them. I wish I’d understood more about the dementia that my dad suffered from. Although, thankfully, just before she died ( suddenly and unexpectedly) I visited my mum and thanked her for everything they’d done for me.

My father died in 1980 so I don't really miss him any more, but I do still miss my mother who died in 2010.
She missed her first great grandchild by two weeks, but did know her name. Since then I have three more grandchildren and often think of how she would have enjoyed knowing them.
I dream about her sometimes and always wake up nostalgic and disappointed to remember that she is no longer with us.

Very sorry for your loss. Doesn’t matter what age your parents’ are when they die, they are your parents, it is so sad. And people will always turn around and say”well they had a good life”?
That does not take away your loss or pain. Grieving takes a long time and has so many different levels.
My father died in 1985, he was only 64. I still miss him.
My mummy died in 2010 and she was 86. I just wish they could see my wonderful daughters and my 7 fabulous grandchildren - how I miss them💔😘🙏

Yes I miss them very much, Mum passed very suddenly and unexpectedly 9 years ago and Dad had a horrible but fairly rapid, death from cancer just as COVID hit but passed before lockdown. Both were in their 70's so not really old and they were still very active.
I miss the warmth of a hug from my Mum and the wonderful smile and sense of humor of my Dad.
Nothing really replaces that connection you have with much loved parents.

To start off with, if it was January of this year, your mother died, that is n ot very long ago, so naturally you are still grieving.

And to answer your question: yes, I still miss my parents - my mother died in 2002 and my father in 2009. Since then both my sister and my husband have died and I miss them too.

I also find myself occasionally dreaming of my grandparents and others of their generation, most of whom died before I was 14, and I am coming up for 73, now.

We loved these people, so yes, we think of them, and sometimes it hurts, like when you hear their favourite Christmas hymn or suddenly find yourself thinking, " Daddy would really have appreciated this joke." or some such thing.

yes, I never got on with my dad, I am now realising that I did for my very early years and something happened to change him during the war, and he did love me

my mum died many years ago, I still feel her near me.

Oh yes , more than I can say. they both died in their mid-50s within a year of each other. Both sudden and unexpected. I have children coming up to the age of my parents' death now. I was lucky to have wonderful parents and I am lucky to have an amazing husband and children and grandchildren but in a quiet private moment I sometimes still shed a tear for my parents.

My mum died 34 years ago, a horrible, lingering death from drug resistant TB - she was just 50.
I still struggle over her suffering and loss and I miss her humour, her affection and kindness - she saw the best in everyone.
My father died ten years later, again, not peacefully or easy and I miss him terribly.
We spoke everyday, he was incredibly funny and intelligent. He was honourable and gentle.....I'm very, very lucky in that my son is so like him and also that he was my father.

This sums my own situation up entirely. So wish I’d also taken more interest in their interests too as they have now become my own interests. I was very dismissive of them when I was young and naive. I think of them now much more than I did when they were alive. Took them for granted and miss them dearly now they aren’t here.

I was loved by my parents and loved them dearly.

It doesn't mean I wasn't exasperated by them sometimes (and vice versa) - surely the very best and most loving relationships are not always a perfect joy.

I suppose I have "waves" of missing them. For example - when my (lovely) Mother-in-law remarks on life "as it was" when she was a girl I hear my mum speaking. When someone talks about parents - or some subject that mine were interested in (fashion, textiles, milinery, floristy, cake decorating, sewing...) I feel the tears...

Ordinarily I don't think of them a lot - just a "regular" amount (whatever that is). I think, "Dad would have loved this" "I wish Mum could see this" or... if I'm feeling a bit selfish I know deep down that they would have done "better".
🙄

I wonder if you miss them (day-by-day) more if they are part of your life into "old" age?
Both my parents died when I was in my 30s. I was married with 5 young children.
I have lived without them longer than I ever had them.

I miss my Mum and Dad so very much. They were the best, they worked their fingers to the bone in the shop and bakehouse Dad got up at 3am every day apart from Sunday to light the ovens. They bought me everything I ever wanted and I was a brat I don't think I ever appreciated anything till it was nearly too late. Dad had a bad stroke and died in 1995 but I did go to see him before he died and thanked him for everything and that I loved him, I hope he understand, we were very close when I was little. I looked after Mum for 18 months before she died and I thanked her all the time for what they both had done for me and apologized. I've never known such an unselfish loving couple.Mum just wanted to be with Dad she missed and loved him so much she got her wish six years later. I'll miss them forever and would love one more conversation with them both. I wonder if Dad still sings Daddy's Little Girl in Heaven ❤️🙏💙

Just wish I had listened more and would love to have one day with them, we take so much for granted.

I know exactly how you feel @LaCrepescule. My dad died over forty years ago and I still miss him - especially at Christmas, it was a time of year he loved. My mum is nearly 94 now and lives with us. She’s in the later stages of vascular dementia and over the last few weeks is spending more and more time in bed, so I know I’m not going to have her for very much longer, and am dreading the day she passes, although if I’m honest, for her sake, I hope it won’t be too long because it’s a terrible disease. I know I’ll be devastated when it happens.

I wish I had told them I loved them but I never said it. It was never said by either of them to me. I think they did love me but that generation wasn’t demonstrative. I’d give anything to hear about their early lives and Dad’s war stories. But I miss my grandparents more. I knew all of them. They were wonderful and will be in my heart forever. Their lives were very hard having lived through 2 world wars. Oh to be able to talk to them again.

My parents were decent people and did their best according to their values - but they were always more important to each other than we ( their children) were to them.I shall not forget my mother saying in older age' the happiest days of my life were before the two of you were born - and after you left home.'

I do not have bad memories, for which I am grateful. But the people I miss most of all now are my dear grandmothers and those (unmarried) great aunts I was close to. They were better at showing their love, giving me quality time ( I did not see any of them very often due to geographical distance) and sharing their ideas and interests .

I still talk to my parents even though Dad died in 1966 and Mum in 1974, I was 61/2 and 15 so it’s been almost 59 years since Dad and 50 since Mum. It’s not something I ever got over, but just learned to live with the pain. Thankfully I still have my 2 brothers so can lean on them on the two anniversarys

I’m 79. Ny father died in 1968 when he was 73 and I was 23. My mother died in 1986 aged 76, I was 41. I loved them both dearly. I have been married for 59 years and have two daughters. I am STILL heartbroken. A reminder, a thought and they’re at the front of my mind. It doesn’t go away.

My father died in February this year. I’m very glad I was able to dump everything and hare down the country in time to be there to say goodbye. Although he was almost 90, disabled, very frail and ready to go I miss him terribly. Only today I started crying on my way to work.
My mother just turned 90 and is in rude health for someone who we thought we were going to lose a year ago.

My dad died after his 3rd heart attack but I don't miss him that much. I was broken hearted at his funeral as I cried for what might have been and now can never be if that makes sense
My mum died suddenly the day she was supposed to be released from hospital with all tests for cancer clear. Developed a blocked artery in her leg and had a massive heart attack in the premed room before emergency surgery in 1999. I watched her die and held her hand.
I miss her very much and talk to her frequently. Never see or hear anything though. I'm on the fence about the afterlife.

I am fortunate enough to still have my Mum, but my Dad died just shy of his 78th birthday in 2018. I often think about him, of course, and it would be great if he could still be here, but the reality is that he died after a relatively short time of lung cancer and he was never going to recover. I would not have wanted to prolong his suffering.

I miss my mother who died aged 78 in 2000, but not my father (died 69 in 1980) as he was a b*****d. I still feel angry and upset with him.
Only this morning, I saw an advertisement for a production I know my mother would enjoy and imagined booking the tickets and picking her up to take her.

I don’t think it “makes us more sad than it should”. Grief is the price we pay, and in my mother’s case, it is correct and proper.

I find it It comes at unexpected moments . I don’t think of them constantly but I’ll see something in a shop and think mum would have liked that or wish she could share a walk I’m on , or I’ll hear a joke and think dad would have laughed . I keep them alive in my children’s minds by reminding them of times they spent together which were sadly too few .

No. Treasure your lovely memories. My father was abusive, both emotionally and physical and my mother was totally under his thumb