Does anyone still miss their parents?

I had to think about this . Mum had me quite young and died before reaching 60 . We used to talk about using our pensioner bus passes to go on adventures together once I retired . She
should have been able to enjoy energetic shopping trips with her grand daughter . Now I am 15 years older than her I seem to picture her as a sister rather than my Mum .

I lost my dad when I was 20. He died far too young. My mum was a widow for longer than she'd been married and died age 81. That was a fair few years ago and although she didn't have dementia she was beginning to struggle with memory etc so I was grateful to have been spared the sadness of losing the person while they were still physically here. My DiL recently lost her grandmother who'd had dementia for a long time. For her family it was a mix of huge relief tinged with sadness for the person they lost years earlier.
I wish my mum had lived to see the adults my children have become, and the greatgrandchildren she never knew, and like others, I wish I had asked her about things when she was alive. There were lots of things in the family history that I wish I'd written down. I always assumed I'd remember everything she'd told me but some of the memories have faded.

Yes I miss my lovely Mam and Dad every single day of my life. I'm 68 with a lovely husband and 4 children and 4 grandchildren . Dad died of Prostate cancer in 2014 , Mam of heart problems 4 years later.
My world is an emptier place without them .

On the whole yes, my parents were 17 and 19 when they had me and my sister was born the following year, so very young

This will seem awful but I hardly knew my parents. I had siblings 15, 14 and 3 years older than me. Parents in lare 40s when I was born. They both died when I was in early 30s. I left home at 19 years old. My two oldest siblings were more like parents to me though they both married before I was at secondary school. I do visualise them but have no recollection of any participation of any event with my parents.

LaCrepescule

Oh thank you for sharing with me 🙏 I’m sad for those of you who don’t have good memories. I suppose it just seems strange that it’s taken 9 months to grieve for mum but grief is rarely linear.
Thinking of you all.

Grief doesnt go away but it mellows in to "a new reality" and each of us create a life in that new reality. 💐

Oh yes Lacrepescule, I’m 75yrs now, but I miss my wonderful mother terribly. She’s never too far from my thoughts. The tears have started again reading this thread.

I’m 69 and was an only child. My parents have been gone a long time - 32 year and 17 years respectively - but I still miss them. I can still see women in the street, who look like Mum did. My Dad was a ‘character’ and we often quote some of the things he used to say. My young granddaughters even know about Grandad Peter and it can bring me to tears when I hear them speak of him.
We were a political household and I still say “I need to phone my Dad” to discuss events of the day.

Of course I do. I was so lucky to have amazing parents- both very different. My mother was the main bread winner and the decision maker, and brought us up to be confident and independent. I shall always be grateful for this.

They died aged 94 and 96, so their parting was in the right order of things. Very very different for those who lost parents far too early. I am so sorry for anyone who did not have the chance to have parents long into adulthood.

A pity I feel that young people are having children later and alter, as it means they will not have grand-parents in their lives, or not for long, and probably not fit enough to join in holidays and all sorts of fun actitivities.

My mum died 1964 - by suicide and we never knew why.
Never stopped missing her and wonder if she knew she would have become a grandma of 2 boys (my brother’s) and my daughter.

Oh that's so sad.
Very hard to accept, I'd think.

Mum and dad died just over a year of each other, 7-8 years ago. It still hurts terribly...

I have been thinking about my parents over the past few days as I have been collecting for the Poppy Appeal. My father was a Lancaster bomber pilot in 1944 and an interpreter at the Nuremberg trials, he never spoke about those times. My Mum had fled Nazi Germany to England to marry my Father in 1938, and again she never spoke about the war.
I miss them

Sadly my parents were never up to the job but of late I’ve thought about them and the dysfunction family life we had. It was seriously dysfunctional but I blanked so much out and just got on with life. But as my life is now running out of time I look back and feel sad on so many things. When I speak to people who grew up in loveing and kind homes I realise that is what matters and is the foundations for our future lives. I can’t imagine what that must be like. I’ve lived accepting things I should never have accepted but it’s a legacy of my home life as a child.

TerriT

Sadly my parents were never up to the job but of late I’ve thought about them and the dysfunction family life we had. It was seriously dysfunctional but I blanked so much out and just got on with life. But as my life is now running out of time I look back and feel sad on so many things. When I speak to people who grew up in loveing and kind homes I realise that is what matters and is the foundations for our future lives. I can’t imagine what that must be like. I’ve lived accepting things I should never have accepted but it’s a legacy of my home life as a child.

So sad. But I understand where you are coming from. I read these posts here and also feel sad that I find it hard to dredge up happy memories. We had relative material security, holidays etc and parents saw to our basic needs .... but the love was missing, or at least any obvious manifestation of it. They were too tied up in their subtle marital battle. So I do not really miss them .... wish I did.

My Mum died aged 92. Of course I miss her. I adored my father. We were very close. He'd suffered from terrible experiences in WW2. He had a mild heart attack when I was 18. I went to visit him in hospital the next day. He was sitting up his bed, in a small Men's ward, with 3 other men in there. When I arrived, Dad was looking well and was cheerful. He looked really pleased to see me, and said in a loud voice (so his room mates could hear him) "Here's my lovely daughter! I'm very proud of her."

Being a typical teenager, I was squirming when he said that, and because the other men were staring at me, I said "Shut up Dad! You're embarrassing me." I briefly kissed him and didn't stay long, believing he would be home very soon. (I had to rush back to work.) Everyone thought he was recovering well from the mild heart attack, but he had another more severe heart attack, and died the next day.
I didn't have the chance to tell him how much I loved him, and I had no chance to say goodbye. It took me many, many years to get over his death (if I ever have), and I find the tears beginning to flow as I type this. He didn't live to give me away at my wedding 5 years later, or see his grandchildren. I suppose I must be grateful for the 18 happy years that I did have with him.

I miss my parents more and more, the longer they've left me the more they've missed of my life.... But I miss my granddaughter so much more

It's over 40 years since my father died and nearly 30 since my mother died, but things still happen that I wish they could have seen. For instance my mother was a big Richard III fan and she would have been so thrilled about the discovery of his body, And, of course, it's such a shame they never saw their great grandsons.

I was 14 when dad died suddenly and 16 when mum died. I still miss them 60+ years later. I then lived with mum’s sister until I married at 21, a mere 54 years ago.

Yes I do miss them both. Dad died age 70, 24 years ago, Mum 4 years ago, aged 84. After Dad died, Mum was encouraged by us, my siblings and me, to write her life story on her computer to fill the empty days after Dad’s death. She went on to publish her memoirs and we all have a copy. There is a book in everyone, even if it’s handwritten, to pass on for future generations. To hear my Mum’s voice, I just need to pick up the book. Why not have a go and leave your history for the future.

To answer the question in the OP: Every day.

Fleurpepper I had my daughter late at 42, she’s 24 now. I do worry that she’ll lose me when she’s still young and that makes me so sad. But hopefully she’ll have her own family (she’s with a lovely young man) and when the time’s right, she can’t wait to be a mum.

Oh Kamj I’m so sorry. When things go against the natural order of things, life can be very cruel.

So sorry to read of people struggling. Some days are better than others.

La crepescule

I’m also 67 and lost my mum in June this year aged 92. Dad passed in 2010 aged 80.
I’m also finding it a lot more difficult than I thought. My mum had been deteriorating ever since she broke her hip five years ago.
The last year was terrible for her she had to go into care from hospital. Poor mum never really settled, but was strong willed she was having treatment for macular degeneration right up to the end. The only consolation I have is that it’s what she wanted she often said I wish I could die I’m so fed up, she wouldn’t accept any help in the home saw to her own personal hygiene.
She is a massive inspiration to me. Every day I think, now what would mum have done. I gain strength from that every day.