Feeling pressurised by male friend

LaCrepescule

Lovely word SORES. The other thread sounds interesting!

gosh thanks, I felt foolish I must say

Great username btw
crepuscular is a word I taught my granddaughter age 10,
for bats, rabbits, moths, in the twilight

For your ‘friendship’ query, you came to the right place
didn’t you, no mercy here.
I would think his mindset is “what’s in it for me”
You are doing the right thing of course, withdrawing

Apple3pie

LaCrepescule
I would look at his behaviour and ask some hard questions. Do you feel he values you as a person? Is he your friend who also happens to be attracted to you, or the only reason he's been hanging around is because he's hoping for more?
Relationship with someone 40 years his junior and not wanting the sister of a female friend be present sound suss.

Sounding more and more controlling.....I would say something along the lines: I have really enjoyed meeting you and going to the cinema/restaurant etc with you but I want spend more time going to the Book Club/ planting things in my garden/ visiting my son/daughter/grandchildren etc. If he gets nasty Run for the Hills and you will know that you have done the right thing by letting him go.

LaCrepescule

I’m running! Actually I’ve stopped and am far far away from him.
I feel a bit sad actually because maybe, just maybe it would have been nice to have a friendship with a man who was worthy of me and if it had developed into something more, it could have been quite lovely.
He wasn’t that man.
And that’s ok.

Well done.

You are worth more than this. He didn't deserve you.
In fact, I hope he finds someone who gives him the runaround.

Well done, LaCrepuscule. A wise decision, I think.

you say you are happy being single, and it's great to have friends of both sexes, but when you start to feel under pressure or uncomfortable, i'd make a quick exit

He sounds rather shallow to me……out for his own needs and pleasure and having total disregard for anyone else’s feeling. I wouldn’t pursue the relationship, not even as a friend to be honest.

Thank you all for being so supportive. I actually haven’t heard from him since we met yesterday which is a change in his behaviour (usually a long voice message by now.) This signals to me that what I said about really enjoying being single and how hearing about all his relationship drama sounded exhausting, has hit home.
He knows he’s never going to share my bed and is no longer interested.
All my suspicions about him have been confirmed and I feel light as a feather. Just spent the morning with a friend and updated her about him and her opinion is the same as all of yours.
Where would I be without solid women friends and this wonderful online community 🙏

That light as a feather feeling is all you need to know LaCrepescule.
Well done you for swerving a bullet, now you can continue to live your life on your terms and enjoy it.

And if any more weirdos come along, you know what to do. Glad you've made the right decision.

Please walk away .

I've experienced this on different levels-being hurried into marriage and being rushed into bed .
Each time it's happened the charm offensive has ceased and a lot of unpleasantness has ensued .

You don't have to have sex with any man and you don't have to live with them either.

At the moment ,I'm being cold shouldered by a lay preacher and by one of the congregation is suddenly being moody with me .

It's really shaken me to the core .

We females have great inner radar for a reason - self preservation .

Take a deep breath.

Wishing you luck.

Nothing wrong with him laying his cards on the table, but you need someone whose emotional pace matches yours. Any discomfort is a bit of an amber flag and getting out now might save future unpleasantness.

Walk away. It’s not worth your sanity!

Is so annoying that no matter what age we are there are men out there prepared to make a pest of themselves. Am glad to be caring for my DH and out of the loop.

Agree with all comments- we want friends but this does not sound right at all- steer clear, politely just allow the 'friendship' to fade. Best not to get involved in verbal exchanges, they can escalate. You are within your rights to keep out of this and stay out.

He was too old for you.

Beware of him , he sounds very controlling! In fact ditch him!!

It would be a definite 'no' from me if I were in your position. The much younger woman is a big red flag. The age gap is significant. And no way would I tolerate what amounts to an order or instruction to see the beginning of a new friendship as a relationship. Don't see him again alone would be my advice.

I once knew a man (we played in the same bridge group) who asked me, and other women he barely knew, if we would be interested in marrying him He was about 80 at the time, single (outlived a wife and a significant other) and was worried about who would take care of him in his extreme old age if he got sick. He actually came out and said this! Sadly, he had no children.

I told him thanks but no thanks. I had one good, happy marriage, my husband unfortunately had died, but I was now enjoying being single.

You have said you do not want any kind if relationship other than as a friend. What's the problem, he's declared he won't bother with any contact that is not going to be personal. Avoid at all cost.

Better you found him out now, rather than ending up too involved later.

I think companionship with the opposite sex is rarely an option. In my experience no matter their age they want, or will try for sex.
Please make your own decisions and don't be pushed into agreeing or feeling sorry for his past experience.

I would say cool things. And I think you know that really otherwise with respect, you wouldn’t be posting as you wouldn’t have doubts.

This is where, as a comletely grown adult, he needs to learn that No' is a complete sentence.

Do not feel pressurised into anything that you don't want to do. If he is not satisfied with being just friends at the moment then I think it would be time to say goodbye.

I would make it clear to him,again, that you enjoy his company but just take things slowly..he sounds very 'needy' to me and too much like hard work and you are obviously not entirely comfortable with him so at this moment keep at arms length. 40 years his junior????? Is he wealthy 36 &76 is a huge age gap. My daughter is 36 so I find that very weird as this man 10 years older than her father!!!! You have to wonder why? Is he one of those men who needs to have a woman as he cannot cope on his own or likes to be seen with a woman,the younger the better? I think there are too many 'red' flags,at this time and you are uncomfortable! Stay friends and if he's not happy with that,it says all you need to know....good luck!

Wait... this early, and he wants an exclusive relationship? Is he one of the God's gift to womenkind people, and you'll be missing out unless you say 'yes'? Relationships happen; they are not made to happen.