Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Page 3 of 3 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Rude or not!

(54 Posts)
Add comment | Report
Narnia Sun 02-Aug-26 20:44:52

We have my 86 yr old mum for the next few Sunday afternoons, usually she goes to my Brother's house but he is away.
We all have days that we go to see her.
She likes to eat at 4/4.30 which is way too early for DH and myself.
Today we invited the children and grandchildren so they all ate at the same time, we didn't eat.
From 3 ISH she was constantly looking at her watch till she got her food at 4.45
Then at 6 she was obviously desperate to go home (my brother says she's always the same)
Would it be rude to bring her here and give her a meal without us eating?
Im frequently at her house whilst she eats.
She likes to eat on her lap watching tv.
Would it be easier to take her out to a cafe etc and we have coffee and cake whilst she eats?
We have never been 5pm meal people.

Add comment | Report
Leopard79 Wed 26-Aug-26 10:51:57

She never offers you a drink - she's 86 - offer to make you both a drink.

Blimey - you are coming across as uncaring and ungrateful for still having your mum in your life.

She may not be around much longer, so you'll be able to eat and drink as you please 😡

Add comment | Report
Cabbie21 Wed 26-Aug-26 11:11:59

I’m 80 and I normally eat around 6pm, but when I have evening activities I eat a bit earlier so I am ready to go out at 6.30. Sometimes I eat my main meal at lunchtime when I have to be out by 6pm. I have to be flexible if I am to have any sort of active life.
We are not all rigid in our meal times, but if your Mum is, then make sure she is fed at the times she needs to eat. I don’t think it is rude for you not to eat with her, but don’t palm her off with a ready meal, make sure it is home cooking, as she will appreciate that. If possible, get the family to sit down and make it an enjoyable event for her.

Add comment | Report
Bellanonna Wed 26-Aug-26 11:13:32

I’m nearly 86 and my main meal is around 6pm. However, if I visit family for lunch I adapt to their times so that usually means not having breakfast. In your mum?s case it sounds as though she would be unhappy to eat at a different time so I would just accommodate her and maybe sit with a cup of tea. Ideally, though, I think it would be better if you could all eat the main meal together, adapting what you usually eat at lunchtime so that you are able to eat your evening meal earlier.
It’s not going to be for long, is it?

Page 3 of 3 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |