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Why can't I wear this to a wedding?

(220 Posts)
Sarnia Sat 15-Aug-26 12:20:31

I have a dilemma and would value some advice, please.
My eldest GD gets married in a few months time. Her Mum, my eldest DD, has asked me what I am wearing for the day.
Just before Covid, my cousin's GD got married and I bought a lovely 2-piece outfit. It is a coffee coloured lace skirt and matching top, both lined. It fits as if it had been made for me, is very comfortable to wear having an elasticated waistband and I like it.
When I told my DD I was planning to give this outfit a second airing, she was horrified. She says I must have something new. My argument is that 7 years ago I went to this wedding alone as it was some distance away so the family haven't seen me in it.
Should I stick to my guns and weather the inevitable fallout, especially on the day or should I surrender and cough up for a new outfit that will likely never see the light of day again?

Lathyrus3 Sat 15-Aug-26 17:54:57

I think probably the men in the immediate family will have new suits or hired ones.

The OP is an important guest. The Grandmother of the bride and will be very visible on the day and in the photographs.

I don’t think her daughter is unreasonable for wanting her to do credit to the occasion.

winterwhite Sat 15-Aug-26 18:06:36

My reaction was the same as KittyLester’s. I don’t think changing hat and shoes meet the point. Ànd offers to add the cost of a new outfit to your present could offend. I’d have fun finding a new outfit.

Another point, it’s now mid August, a wedding ‘in a few months time’ as the OP says doesn’t sound like lace season.

SueDonim Sat 15-Aug-26 18:06:51

A friend of mine has fourteen grandchildren, all of whom arrived over a period of ten or so years. I doubt very much she’ll be getting a new outfit for each wedding, even if only half of them get married!

Lathyrus3 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:09:01

SueDonim

A friend of mine has fourteen grandchildren, all of whom arrived over a period of ten or so years. I doubt very much she’ll be getting a new outfit for each wedding, even if only half of them get married!

No I take your point.

I just can’t help feeling they really don’t want her in the coffee lace.

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:09:17

I certainly can't remember what anyones gran wore on their wedding days.

Susiewong65 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:11:35

You sound like my mother!
She attended my eldest daughter’s wedding a few months ago wearing an outfit, shoes, handbag and hat she’d worn to another family wedding several years ago.
I offered to go shopping with her and she told me she couldn’t be bothered and didn’t want to spend money on an outfit she probably wouldn’t wear again.
I said nothing but underneath I was quietly seething that she could be so mean spirited around a close family members special day.
I’ve no idea why old people wheel out the ‘make do and mend’ war time mentality.
Money isn’t an issue she simply couldn’t be bothered to make the effort.
My lovely mother in law decided that she did want a new outfit and she looked lovely on the day much to my own mothers consternation!

Casdon Sat 15-Aug-26 18:15:30

I’d go for a new outfit for my own granddaughter’s wedding, and wear the same thing for subsequent weddings of others I was not so closely related to, because I’d want to make every effort to look my best for my granddaughter’s special day, and I’d enjoy shopping for something that coordinated with her chosen colour scheme too. That’s just me though, not everybody thinks the same, so go with your gut on what to do.

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:17:49

Princess Ann has worn oufits for years, as far as I know.
I thought she was/is rather admired by royal fans.

GreyKnitter Sat 15-Aug-26 18:18:45

Wear your outfit, especially if it’s comfortable!

Susiewong65 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:21:33

MissAdventure

Princess Ann has worn oufits for years, as far as I know.
I thought she was/is rather admired by royal fans.

And she often looks like a bag of washing!

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:22:52

grin

Smileless2012 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:25:05

That's right MissA. Mr. S. showed me a photo today of Princess Ann in an outfit she'd previously worn in 1976!!!

Lathyrus3 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:28:17

That sent me down a rabbit hole.

Princess Anne had a new outfit for Zara’s wedding.

Even a too notch recycler knew when to call a halt😬

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:31:22

I'm amazed they still fit!!! smile
Still, i expect she lacks guidance.

Gransnetters should write to her, I think. (Naff 'orff!)

Smileless2012 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:32:29

I'm just jealous that they do MissA envy

Lathyrus3 Sat 15-Aug-26 18:35:13

Her disregard for what she considers unimportant is magnificent.

As is regard for for what she does think important.

I wish I’d been as disciplined as her when it comes to size.

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:37:29

Me too!
Seriously, only you can decide, Sarnia.
Very many different views on here, bt it's yours that matters, in terms of causing an upset by wearing what you want, or spending on something new to keep the peace.

Gwyllt Sat 15-Aug-26 18:38:51

Some people are very willing to spend other people’s money

Hopikins Sat 15-Aug-26 18:41:50

Remember Princess Anne, always reusing special outfits and I believe Catherine and her Mother swop clothes. Take a hint from those in the know and with plenty of money to waste but don't. Enjoy the wedding

MissAdventure Sat 15-Aug-26 18:44:50

Just a thought: has anyone asked the bride what she prefers her Nan, Gran to wear??

Allsorts Sat 15-Aug-26 18:56:30

Its a pity you told them as there could be an atmosphere now if you wear it. It sounds really petty though, haven't they got enough to think of? It wouldn't bother me in the least if it were my wedding, just glad to have you there.

fancythat Sat 15-Aug-26 18:59:19

Purely for your DD's sake, I would get a new outfit.

Farmor15 Sat 15-Aug-26 19:25:40

Can you put it on a hanger and take a photo and share it here? At least you would get opinions on the actual outfit and not about the fact that you wore it previously. Sometimes styles can date a bit, and even if it fits and is comfortable, the fact that it was bought pre-Covid might make it seem dated.
It's easy for some here to suggest buying a new outfit, but trying to find something suitable that you like can be terribly difficult.
I disagree that the grandmother of the bride is a very important person at the wedding- in my experience, older relatives are generally relegated to sidelines!

Abuelamia Sat 15-Aug-26 19:40:55

I would suggest you buy a new outfit, please don’t let something so minor, be the cause of an argument. Maybe ask your DD to accompany you to go shopping to choose. I hope you find something that makes you feel special and knowing you have the blessing of your DD will make you feel even better.

Esmay Sat 15-Aug-26 19:49:52

My goodness can any of us imagine telling our mothers not to wear an outfit ?
This outfit sounds perfect .
Do wear it and enjoy the wedding.