Why can't I wear this to a wedding?

As has been said stillawipp, it isn't the OP's daughter's big day it's her GD's and if simply ignoring an AC's wishes about what to wear could lead to estrangement, that just shows how ridiculous estrangement can be.

Right, ok…at this point I give up, then 🤣

My nan came to my wedding in her usual wedding gear and I was embarrassed.

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

Lathyrus3

I’m really quite sad about the picture if Granny in the corner that nobody notices.

It would be top table, front of the church, entrance after guests are seated and right there in the photos, especially the three generations of women one. Girl power👏

Oh, everybody notices her, but almost as a duty.

Scribbles

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

Great post 👏👏👏

kittylester what was so embarassing? Wasn't it enough that she was there to share in your happy day?

Unless she usually wears a Count Binface outfit, that is.

I found an outfit for a GS’s baptism 25 years ago which I loved. It was still my favourite until I recently lost 2 stone and it became noticeably too big. It took me happily and comfortably to several family weddings and innumerable other occasions. I am glad to have an extended family who do not judge each other by their clothes.

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

The point being that it's the bride's big day.

My wedding was back in the days when the bride had little say in anything. And, of course, I was so pleased my nan was there but, looking at photos now, she looks quite out of place. As my mother tried to do at our daughter's wedding, she made it all about her.

Scribbles

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

Yes, I'm with you on that. I'd have to look at my wedding photos too to tell you what anyone was wearing. When my son got married, his granny just dug something out of her wardrobe - it wasn't even particularly what you would think of as a wedding guest outfit - but did anyone care? No, they were just happy that she was there to be a part of the occasion.

A few years ago I was a guest at the wedding of a couple in their 80s. They were both widowed for many years before they got together.

The groom’s DIL did not approve of him getting married again so she turned up in an old T shirt and a denim skirt and flip flops. She is usually very well dressed. All the brides family and other guests had made a real effort to dress up. It was her way of objecting but she ended up looking foolish.

I rarely get the opportunity to dress up and my grandchildren are unlikely to choose a posh do. However, I would enjoy making an effort to look good. Were I invited to a posh wedding and already possessed a nice lace getup I'd try it on again and decide if the colour did anything for me. I would also enjoy searching round to see if I could find an outfit I like better.

In 1969 at our wedding there were a lot of colourful suits and pill box hats.
I would not dream of telling any guest and especially not my DM what to wear.

My mum criticised DH shoes and said his DGF was also shocked that he wore his favourite desert boots. The subject was brought up over the years but it didn't cause an estrangement. She could be quite a stirrer.

I like the idea of hiring an outfit.
Here in Scotland the men usually wear kilts and hire one if they don't own one.

My DMiL hired a golden outfit for her golden wedding do. Not something she was ever likely to wear again.
I borrowed a posh dress for the same occasion.

Oh dear. I know for certain neither of our granddaughters would mind what we wear to their wedding Have a chat with your granddaughter. Listen to her. Maybe send her a photo of you in the outfit or ask her to come round and see both you and the outfit. The second hand comment from your daughter seems quite rude to be honest. There are all sorts of reasons grandparents don’t buy new outfits - health , finances, access to stores, a wish not to buy something that will only be worn once. I honestly don’t see why it’s such an issue for your daughter. She isn’t the bride!

No but she may well be the messenger, saying what the bride doesn’t want to say herself.

I don’t really think harking back to our own weddings is relevant really.

A lot of weddings nowadays are suzabke and expensive ‘productions” years in the dreaming and planning. The recording and presentation are as important as the day itself with practice photography and rehearsal before the day and themes planned to ensure the playback is perfect.

not look on social media to see how decisions are made about colour or fashion or the need to follow a theme.

And of course photoshop to get the perfect images.

A wedding is completely different now from when we were married and a best outfit was ok.

We may think it’s silly, but it is what it is.

Having said that Sabrina can wear what she likes. My son didn’t like my first choice. I wouldn’t have dreamed of going to his wedding knowing that.

suzabke? I can’t even remember the wordI wanted to type but how could it be corrected to that🙄

Sarnia

Wear it nd enjoy xxx

If no one has seen you in it before, and you are as comfortable in it as you say, I would wear it. The mother-of-the bride (your daughter) should mind her own business! It sounds lovely. Wear it in good health and have a good time.

I would definitely wear the nearly new outfit, you like it, it fits well and has only been worn once. Maybe you could compromise and buy a new hat, or shoes or handbag, or even a piece of jewellery to wear at the wedding.

I would wear it too. The main thing is to be comfy and enjoy yourself.Don't think your DD would appreciate it either if you were uncomfy and miserable all day in something you don't want to wear.However, just make sure it is still either 'Classical' or in fashion for now and that your DD wasn't trying to tell you kindly that the outfit wouldn't be right.

My daughter-in-law had a loosely "colour themed" wedding ^just for the main guests). It was blues through teal (and a muted pinky colour I think, from memory).

My mother-in-law was going to wear a 2 piece navy blue - but it was very hot and so she wore a bright green with the navy.

Nobody bothered.
It was one formal photo - and still looks lovely.

I would wear the outfit you have. If it is comfortable and has not been seen by the other guests before I see no problem. As for going against your DD's advice I wish I hadn't listened to my DD when my DS got married. She insisted I must buy navy shoes to go with my navy dress. I accepted her advice but regretted it. By the time the service and photos were over I was in pain in my new shoes. I drove to the reception in my everyday black flat shoes which I'd left in the car for the purpose, and didn't take them off! The navy shoes were never worn again. I doubt anyone noticed! She also had issues with my plans for headwear and I stuck to my guns and she admitted on the day that what I did looked ok! It was a summer wedding and I knew that wearing a hat all day would be unbearable as I'm prone to a sweating head. My hair is very thin on each side so a fascinator would only conceal one side of the problem, so I opted for a wide navy hair band which I decorated with fabric 'flowers' and wore a matching flower brooch which I made for the occasion.
If my DD ever marries I expect I'll be given strict instructions as to what to wear and may struggle not to comply!

We were at a wedding last week, dress code party wear but please no white.