Death of sister

I know exactly how you are feeling, Fiona, having lost two sisters myself. We were once four girls and now we are two. Time helps a little but you have to make sure you grieve for as long as it takes. My thoughts are with you.

Deep sympathy to you. Something very hard about losing a sibling. Take good care of yourself in your grief. Concentrate on basics like eating good food when you feel you can, and trying to get adequate rest. Grief is exhausting.

My condolences, Fiona. I have recently lost a dearly loved cousin. My life is diminished but it was a privilege to have had him in my life for so long. ?

No one can feel your pain or know how you feel. Your grief on the loss of your sister will seem overwhelming. In the next few weeks and months will be hard and you will go through the whole gamut of emotions. But you will find your way through it even if in these early days you can only think about the next 5 minutes /half hour - but that's ok. Eventually you will learn to carry on - but in a different way.

Oh, Fiona, I am so very sorry. Very, very painful, very tough for you. I'm sending you some virtual flowers. Be gentle with yourself. Grieving is very tiring. I highly recommend massage, counselling, reiki, pampering. And writing a letter to sister might help.
love and hugs to you.

I'm very sorry Fiona. I lost one sister aged 65 from breast cancer almost 9 years ago and then my other sister aged almost 75 from a brain tumour 5 years ago. I was devastated both times and like Gagagran I got very angry as both my parents had already died. I still get angry at times as I have now lost all of my aunts and uncles too, but thankfully I have my two loving married children and two adorable grandchildren. Also I now have two roses in my garden named after my sisters. Time does help but I still miss them very much.

My sister died 6 years ago at the age of 49 leaving two teenagers. It was a truly terrible time for everyone. Being around for the children helped me, and we are very close. The only thing I would say is that this loss can be reactivated in times of extreme stress which happened to me. Be prepared and don't feel this means you haven't coped with the loss. It's normal. Best wishes.

The one thing this thread has done more than anything else is show just how close the relationship between adult siblings, especially ones of the same gender, is and how deep the grief and enduring sense of loss is, when that sibling dies.

When my DS died, in her 40s, my parents were still alive and everything was concentrated on how the deep the loss was for them, and I would do nothing to diminish the sense of loss parents feel at the loss of a child but I almost felt that outside the very close family the grief of myself and surviving sister at the loss was discounted.

Nothing was said, but there was a feeling that it was easier for us, we had 'only' lost a sister, we still had each other, that we were adults and were each ploughing our separate ways through life so the childhood bond (and don't sisters fight and see each other as rivals?) must have loosened so that we were less close than we might have been.

I was married with children, so it seemed to be felt that the fact that I had my own family meant I would be less affected by the loss of a sister.

This thread has shown just how untrue those assumptions, implicit rather than thought are. No matter how old we are, how our lives may have diverged, how we may now have families of our own, as may our sisters. the bond of sisters is very close, crafted in childhood and for most remaining so for the rest of our lives.

Our grief may be different to the grief we have for a parent, spouse our child, but it is as deep. But it is there and remains with us.

Thank you FionaC for starting this thread and revealing the sisterhood that links those of us who mourn, and will forever mourn, the death of a dearly beloved sister.