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Do you believe in life after death? - If you post ...

(143 Posts)
Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 13:48:06

I am starting this thread because I know this is a topic that has brought forth a lot of responses on a bereavement forum I used to belong to and I think it helped people to share / express what they thought/ experienced. However, I am also mindful that this is a delicate and emotive subject and so I thought I would add a plea to please post/respond with due care and sensitivity.

Thank you.

ninathenana Tue 11-Jul-17 13:51:01

Personally no.
If it helps those that do, so be it, who am I to criticise.

whitewave Tue 11-Jul-17 13:51:18

I would love to be able to say yes.

But honestly no

tanith Tue 11-Jul-17 13:53:59

Be nice if it were true but no I don't believe .

Luckygirl Tue 11-Jul-17 14:02:17

No - I see no reason to believe anything other than a return of atoms to the cosmic soup. But that it is fine - it is the cycle of life; and all the love and shared experiences of someone who has died do, I believe, become an integral part of those loved-ones left behind; that is my concept of immortality.

Conversation from yesterday.....

DGD: when you are dead do you stop breathing?
Me: Yes
DGD: If I was an old Grandma (I assume me!) I would just breathe and then I would not have to be dead.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 14:04:00

My answer ... Well, I am not sure but after losing my daughter in a car crash, some things happened that it is difficult to explain.

She died late on a Friday night. On Saturday morning, my parents telephoned close friends who live in Switzerland to tell them the sad news. These friends had lost a grown up son to suicide two years earlier. The father said ' I had a dream last night (Friday) and in my dream a girl with long hair came to me and put her hand on my arm and said' Simon's okay.'
My daughter had long hair. This in itself just seemed a little bit coincidental to me, but very soon after I heard another account that I tied in with the first.
I had rung my daughter's Godmother on the Saturday morning - at about 8:30 - and her daughter had answered the phone. All I said to her was 'Hi, it's Janice - can I speak to mum please...' When my friend took the phone from her she went into another room, but when she emerged she was weeping. Her daughter said straight away 'It's Evelyn isn't it - she's dead isn't she?' Her mum said 'How did you know?' She replied 'When the phone rang I was having a dream and in my dream /I was standing next to a girl with long hair. We were in a dark place, but with a light at one end and there were lots of people walking towards us from the light. The girl said' I'm scared' and I said 'Don't be, they all love you.' She squeezed my arm and at that point the telephone rang and woke me up.

Coincidence maybe, but I feel there was a striking similarity between the two 'dreams' .

Soon after my daughter died, my mother suffered a heart attack and developed an aneurysm. She refused to be operated on - she was literally heartbroken that we had lost my daughter, they had been very close. Mum lived on borrowed time for another 13 months, but then was taken ill suddenly and admitted to hospital for tests. I visited her that evening and left expecting to see her the next day, but she died early in the morning. I went for a beach walk that day and ss I was kicking up the pebbles a noise broke in on my thoughts. It was a shout of greeting - just one word: 'Nanny!' I looked u at the skies and smiled and I said out loud ' You've met.' It was such an affirmation.

No doubt someone, somewhere will think this was all rejection and delusion, but it felt very real and very life affirming for me.

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 14:05:45

projection ... not rejection smile

Greenfinch Tue 11-Jul-17 14:06:54

I don't know but I believe there is something totally unlike that which we have so far experienced just as life in the womb was nothing like we are experiencing now and could not have been comprehended.

Luckygirl Tue 11-Jul-17 14:10:06

I do not think it matters what you call it or what causes these experiences - it is a comfort to you and that is all that matters.

There is so much that we simply do not understand and we have to accept without expecting an explanation.

I am sorry for the loss of your DD.

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 14:23:26

Luckygirl thank you. She was a sweetie! xx

TriciaF Tue 11-Jul-17 14:30:40

This is my belief about it (from Wordsworth's Intimations of immortality):
"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home"
Lots more follows:
I didn't realise that Wordsworth was so religious, but he mixed his religious beliefs with the laws he saw in the natural world.

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 14:34:25

Beautiful words TriciaF, thanks for the sharing [smile. No, I didn't know he was religious either.

Rigby46 Tue 11-Jul-17 14:45:47

I don't believe at all and don't need to but I have dear friends who are deeply committed Christians who obviously do. I also know other people who find a belief in life after death comforting and I can understand that whilst not needing that belief.

Leesa Tue 11-Jul-17 14:53:53

I believe,I think we have many lives but everyone is entitled to their own beliefs

Leesa Tue 11-Jul-17 14:55:12

Thankyou for sharing Imperfect27 I am sorry for your loss.

valeriej43 Tue 11-Jul-17 15:03:25

Imperfect27 so sorry for the loss of your daughter,your post made me cry
I do belive in life after death,i have had several experiences,which make me believe
I think your daughter came to comfort the other couples sons parents, and im sure it gave them comfort
Strange as it may seem, not sure i believe in god though
Too much cruelty going on the world, espcially animal cruelty, cant see how any god would allow hie creatures to suffer ,as they cannot speak for themselves

paddyann Tue 11-Jul-17 15:09:26

my first daughter died at 4 days ,her sister was born 16 months later .When she was around two we heard her talking in her cot,she shouted us in and told us she was talking to the girl who should live here but doesn't .She had many conversations with that girl..Around the time d2 was 4 we used to visit her granny every Sunday ,as we passed a particular street she would say "I used to live up there in that house with my other mum and dad and my brother " even if she was sleeping as we approached the street she woke up and told us this .We probably should have asked if someone in the street had lost a child but to be honest we were worried we might be opening a can of worms and hurt some poor family so we never did .
Whhen she was 10 I had my son ,the night after his birth..before I'd even come round from the C section I dreamed a whole life of a man with my sons name ,how he mmet his wife on a rainy July day in a shop doorway ,how they married and had a family and his work as a journalist during WW11 ,,my "dream"ended with his wife clearing out the attic of their home after his death with the help of her GS who had his GF 's name too.Spooky.No internet then but I spent alot of time in the library looking for any journalist who would fit the bill .Sadly I haven't ever found him...but I'm convinced he did exist

Oriel Tue 11-Jul-17 15:13:13

No, I don't believe that there is anything after death.

I certainly don't believe that there is a reward after death for those who have sworn allegiance and followed the 'right' path to whichever god they choose. Nor do I believe that there is eternal punishment for those who simply choose not to believe in any god.

I think we have one life and should be grateful for that opportunity and do everything we can to ensure we do not waste our time on earth.

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 15:16:13

Thank you Leesa.

Rigby46 it is interesting that you refer to 'not needing to' believe in life after death. I don't feel that I do either. Of course it would potentially be a source of comfort to us all, but even as a committed Christian of some years I always felt that I didn't need to believe - like a prop. That was never a motivation or a reason to aspire to a life of faith. I was always more pragmatically concerned with trying to live a good life in the here and now. Also, after my daughter died, I had little appreciation of well-meaning people who told me 'One day you will see her in heaven.' That had no meaning other than passing some kind of sentence upon me when, at 43 I could reasonably anticipate living another 40 years myself.

After we lost my daughter, a close family member went to see a medium and apparently received a 'message' from my daughter which she was then very eager to impart. I said I did not want to hear it and to this day do not know what it was. I don't consciously seek any assurances and I don't look for any signs - that was why I was so surprised by what I have recorded above.

Anniebach Tue 11-Jul-17 15:21:52


Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 15:22:14

valeriej thank you - I guess that is what I took from those experiences.

When my DD1 was expecting her first child 18 months ago, 2 days before he was born she had a dream that her sister came and sat on the end of her bed. She could only describe what happened as waking to be aware a 'presence' and just knowing it was her sister.

We think of ourselves as grounded, sensible people ... smile

Imperfect27 Tue 11-Jul-17 15:29:17

paddyann the daughter I lost used to spend hours talking to people we could not see - long, long conversations with them in what she called 'Littleland'. It used to spook me a little bit. I became aware of this when she was about 3 and it continued until she was 7 and we moved house. She told us 'The people stayed there.'

She was a very intelligent child and I used to think she would be a natural writer in later life -reminded me of the stories of the Bronte sisters and their childhood 'make-believes'.

paddyann Tue 11-Jul-17 16:23:11

Imperfect27 the one that really spooked me was when she started to talk to her "policeman" who she said knew us all very well ,there were no policemen that I knew of in my family but when I told my mother she informed me her great grandfather was a police lieutenant who had died in action when he was only 28 ,before her granny was born .I'd never heard of him only that he died young as did MY Ggrandfather ,also before my GF was born,very weird indeed .

joannapiano Tue 11-Jul-17 16:46:05

My mum literally dropped dead at her home when she was 69, we rushed round but she was gone.
The next night I had a very vivid dream that she was standing talking to lots of people in a large room, whilst I was in an adjoining room watching her (slightly nervously as I knew she had died).
She was wearing her normal clothes and turned round and said "Don't worry, I'm quite all right."
It made me feel a bit better and I have never forgotten it.
I think part of us lives on.

Antonia Tue 11-Jul-17 17:01:56

There is so much that we can't know, simply because our brains are not adapted. I watched an interesting programme recently about our brains being evolved for us to make sense of our world, and that 'reality' (whatever that is) might perhaps be very different. I am a firm believer in there being lots beyond our comprehension. (Not that it takes much to be beyond my comprehension grin)