Silly and soppy sorry

Oh Annie. Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes. We all have regrets - some you just have to live with but sometimes a card or phone call can work wonders. Even though my mother married again after my dad died quite young in my heart she is now with him, which I am sure is what she wanted. In the hereafter I like to think we will all be young again - no aches and pains and whole again.

I was feeling low - it's the anniversary of my mother's death - reading all your problems made me think and I am thankful for all my blessings. None of us know how long we have left - let's enjoy that time. Take care x

Annie, I wish I could say or do something to help. All I can offer in GN's opens ear and arms whenever you need them. (((hugs)))

Well it's difficult situation for you.
It's our golden anniversary next year hopefully we will both be around, wasn't thinking of going yet but you never know.
We are going to be cremated we have some of our sons ashes in a pot on our unit with a cricket model on the front some were scattered at one of the places where he played cricket.
We will b cremated. I go to my parents grave to look after it with my h, but when we are gone it will not be looked after.
I am a humanist I believe it's how you treat people on this earth that counts. Not impressed with the Christian's I have met over the years.

Anniebach - I know not everyone believes in life after death but I do, I have had several experiences that lead me to believe in this. I lost my husband when he was 46 and I was 42. I am now 62 and women in my family tend to live into their 80's and 90's so could have many more years ahead yet. I cannot be buried with my husband as he was cremated and I scattered his ashes on the White Cliffs at Dover in the belief that I would still be living in the same area when it was my turn - however, following a change in family circumstances I am now in the West Midlands. I have told my daughter I want to be cremated then buried in a special urn with a sapling - food for a new tree. I don't believe that we enter spirit at the age we are when we die, that is simply the age our physical body has reached and we have no need of it as an energy form. A grave is just a resting place for our bodies until the earth takes them back. If there is space for you then why not use it? It would be easier for your children to visit if you are both in the same plot.

Anniebach, I think there was a similar issue with Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. He died aged only 42, and the effigy of her that would eventually lie beside him in the royal mausoleum at Frogmore was made, or at least commissioned, while she was still a relatively young woman. It would be another four decades before she joined him.

My grandfather died at 66 and his ashes were scattered at his favourite beauty spot. My grandmother lived until 99 and was buried in the local cemetery. I had my grandfather's name and dates added to the headstone although he was not physically there, as a way of giving him a memorial and reuniting them both.

I believe that when you do meet again after this life, you will be the age the was the most important to you under the circumstances, i.e. the age you appeared to be when you met your loved ones or those with issues you need to clarify. So, in my case 19 for my first boyfriend, for my ex-husband 25, DH 31 and my parents probably around 8 and my miscarried babies around 20-30 etc. And if you want to dance, of course you can (probably perfectly!). DS's best friend died at 21 and we can't imagine him as anything other than he was in this life. His favourite saying was "I can do that" and we envisage him telling God "Don't worry,
God - I can do that!

anniebach sending love and hugs to you, I'm sorry you are feeling so low.
It would have been my dear mum's 89th birthday today and I have shed a tear this morning, she died nearly 10 years ago.
I hope all the lovely memories you have make you feel a little better .

Please please contact your sisters. I lost mine and feel so sorry we didn't make moreeffort to visit when she moved away. We were totally different but the bond was strong, and I feel solost without her...just knowing she was there my sister

Oh dear Annie Bach. Hope u won't mind me saying this but you do not seem to have quite been yourself for some time. Your posts have not been so upbeat. Reading this thread I can see why. If it were me, I would be going back to writing my 'emotions' diary or finding a trusted friend/counsellor to talk to
Please think about finding help.

I don't think you meet again I think this is it and we believe in an afterlife to comfort ourselves through bereavement but if I m wrong and there is then it wont have anything to do with age I don't know your story Anniebach or whether you remarried but if not and he was the love of your life why would you not be with him in death Just because your worldly body will be older seems no reason to me You were the same age when you were together ( I presume) so surely if you believe in an afterlife your feelings and love will still be the same age

I will be all on my own in my plot being a divorcee.. I hope I won't be lonely

I am in the same boat Anniebach and my heart is with you. I just feel that it won't be long now and we'll meet along the road. I am going to the send off this week for a very dear friend of ours and that will be difficult. Lots of memories but it will be manageable. For me the anticipation is worse but once the time arrives it's not so bad. Much love.

You obviously believe in the afterlife. If only your soul goes to heaven surely your earthly body will be left behind, you and your husband should be ageless to each other.

Anniebach your post made me weep, I believe in an after life and pray that I will be with my husband again, he died at 50 more than 27 years ago and I hope he will still be in spirit when my time comes. I lost my son last year and I pray I can be with him again. We all live with our joys and sorrows and just have to find a way to cope when we are down. Please see your doctor and be honest about your anxiety and health problems. I send my love to loads of hugs. Hope you feel better soon xx

* anniebach* please see your GP about the eating disorder, don't allow it to go on unchecked.?

It isn't the afterlife which caused me to be upset, it was the thought of my old body being placed next to his young body,now realised after forty years there will be no young body , feel really stupid now.

How kind everyone is.

I have seen a doctor, seems I have physical and mental exhaustion plus ulcer has flared up, fed up of resting Too much time to think .

Dear Anniebach I am so sorry to read of your unhappiness and wonder if the doctor could give you antidepressant tablets, they helped me a lot.
What a lovely thing for your younger daughter to say about The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, a lovely picture, I hope other Gransnetters have seen the picture and know what she is referring to.

Annie, hoping you feel better soon

As a practical solution would it be more acceptable to you to be cremated and have your ashes buried in the grave with him ?
It's always hard on the one left behind, but I think love is ageless.

God bless you anniebach you posted very supportive words to me a couple of weeks ago and i'm sad such a lovely person as yourself is so low at the moment. We truly never know what's round the corner so fate may have something nice in store for you. And, as so many others have posted, love is forever and i would like to think when our souls are eventually reunited we will both be lovely and in our prime again. My dear late husband said he would wait for me on our special beach in Italy and that's where i'm headed come the day x

No wonder you were down if you are exhausted. Hopefully now with treatment you will gradually build up your strength again. Do you have some good friends from your church or other organisation that you can get together with to get out? On Saturday a friend and I had a nice meal with a mini desert and coffee for under £10 at a nearby Beefeater! They have a mon- sat budget lunch menu.
My view of life after death is that it is only the soul that has eternal life, it is ageless, and retains only your 'good' or higher spiritual qualities since the baser qualities are tied to physical desires - greed, lust, selfishness etc and once you ditch the body they all disappear. Hence those whose lives were centred on physical/material pleasures, will have an 'empty' soul and effectively be dead, whereas for a spiritual person there will be lots of opportunities for the soul (or mind) to continue to develop and discover new things with no tired old body to hold you back - heaven indeed!

Annie don't worry about your old body. After death it's irrelevant, except to show how you've struggled through this bad old world.
And I've been thinking about that last argument you had with your dear husband. My bet is that if he could speak to you now he would say "What argument?" Men forget about these things almost at once, while we brood on them.

ps I agree with your view of life after death, Starbird.

Anniebach I found your message distressing and profoundly sad because I had never thought about the age gap between husband and wife separated in this way. Personally I don't think the age gap matters at all, but you will settle into your own thoughts in time. Thoughts can take hold for no clear reason and you've given lots of examples of how much things around you are changing, so it's not surprising you're unsettled. I'm not particularly religious, but I do agree with those saying our souls are ageless as is love itself.

Anniebach, I like to think it's going to be the same as the ending in "Titanic". As the old lady passed she became a girl again and met her young lover at the top of the staircase under the clock. She fell into his arms and they were reunited for eternity. I believe my mother and father met again in a similar way.

Annie bach, hope you had a good night's sleep and feel better this morning. Do you anything planned for today? Can you get out to the library to look for some easy reading and buy some tasty food from the shops?. Whatever you do , I wish you well.