Anniebach, I've just read through this thread and feel sad I didn't see it when it first appeared. I've been away with very intermittent wifi, so been catching up the past few days and somehow missed this one.
It's good that you have seen your GP and emotional/physical exhaustion sounds the right diagnosis. A move of house is in the top ten stressful life events. You have also had loss with family members moving away and the long term continuing sadness about your much loved daughter. You seem to have taken some comfort from the information your psychologist friend gave you. For what its worth, I believe she is absolutely correct. It is often the case that we project the elements of our own personality that we find difficult, on to others. Adult daughters struggling as your daughter has, all too often blame their mothers, projecting the bits of their own personality on their mother. Knowing this doesn't make the pain go away, or excuse the cruelty shown but it does help to make some sense of what in fact, makes no sense.
Anniversaries can catch us out. I'm ten years on from a terrible period in my life. I'd worked hard on acceptance, on creating some emotional distance from the awful events of that time. I was unprepared to be caught out by it again out earlier this year, I felt miserable, depressed, exhausted and ruminated so much on what I could have done differently ten years ago . Be gentle with yourself Annie, give yourself a break and try to get some proper rest x
x