Silly and soppy sorry

Anniebach

Dear Anniebach so sorry you are feeling so rotten at present, your health problems have bought the past to the fore, your younger self made the decision about being with your husband so why not stick with that. Take all the help you can get, good wishes

Oh Anniebach - you have touched so many of us with your heartfelt posts. I truly hope you find some peace and acceptance soon.

Whatever any one of us believes, none of us are in your shoes or have lived your life but with your Christian beliefs there will be an answer for you.

Remember what Christ said : "In my Father's house there are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you" I hope that helps and that your faith comforts and supports you.

I am so moved by so much kindness , every single post and I thank you all, I felt so isolated on Sunday.

if I may say a little more then I will shut up.

My greatest worry is my elder daughter , every day brings fear , never knowing what she will do/say, we were also so very close but this year she has turned so cruel and I am on the receiving end, i don't go out because I am tired of the constant - how is your daughter, and worse - I was talking to your daughter , I dread what she has said. She is now having counselling , PTS caused an abusive childhood , she was adored , her sister is so angry , she told her elder daughter - your granny was a whore. I had one four year relationship.

My fear is who will love her after I die, what will happen to her. my beautiful, loving , caring child who must still be there in that fuddled mind .

I am so sorry to keep on but I am so distressed , seems flood gates have opened sorry

Annie I can understand the stress about your daughter's condition. We've experienced similar problems in our family and there's just no answer. Did you ever join Al-anon?
To save yourself, as far as I know the only way is to try to detach yourself from the problem - easier said than done.
Someone in your daughter's condition can only change if SHE wants to.

My grandmother was bed ridden - but sharp as tack at 95. My Grandpa had died 20 years before and every day she asked to be with him. She had lunch then sang some hymns with the maid that looked after her. Promptly at 1pm she asked that her hair be brushed and laid on the pillow around her, as she said 'he always loves to see me like that and today he will' she then raised herself off the bed, gave a wonderful smile and said 'it's been a long time' called his name, then fell back and died. It gives me such comfort she believed and I do that he came back to take her over. Your husband will see the 30 year old beauty when you too are reunited. I wish you peace and happiness in your memories..

Oh Anniebach you really are going through a rough patch, and it is a patch, things will eventually settle. Sometimes the floodgates need to open as yours have so that all the fear and sadness can 'out' I know it's distressing but it's probably cleansing(I'm sorry to sound so Americanised, is that a real word?) we can all only take so much. Please hold on tight and try to believe that you will feel better. For now hold on to the fact that people do care. Try to sleep, listen to somthing boring on the radio until you nod off. Let's hope things don't look so bleak in the morning.

Anniebach sometimes there is no fixing things, but still we must find a way to go on - and amazingly, we do. Your faith will remind you that there is One who loves your daughter and always will. You're a strong woman who is allowed to express her weakness sometimes; take heart from so many kindly messages.

I'm sorry you are so hurt, annie, you are living through a bleak time in your life with deep pain. Please fight the very understandable impulse to withdraw. Yes, there will be distance with some people you love but there will also be friends and family who miss, love and care about you. Please keep talking to us. We're here for you. As morethan says hold on tight and believe you can feel better. Wishing you a peaceful night and a brighter tomorrow.

God bless dear Annie, and may The Lord grant you peace.

? Annie, sorry you are having an awful time at the moment, you are overthinking and analysing your situation. All your problems are crowding in on you. You have faith, you must trust that all will be well. We cannot through worry, alter everything, life is not like that. Your Golden Wedding Anniversary, will pass like any other day. When you die, your sole is ageless, the love you felt is to, it will be the reuniting of two living soles, regardless so any arguments that all young people have, with age comes more tolerance, do get kind to yourself as you would others. The problems of old age come at the expense if a long life, everything comes at a cost I'm afraid. You have lots of people that care, why don't you write to your sisters one last time, don't expect an answer, just tell them you care and miss them.

Hope your mood is feeling lighter today ANNIEBACH. Thinking of you.

Yes annie i no how you feel Ive had an awful time myself and im still going through it .As we age life gets worse and smaller .I wish you more happuness This too will pass .Be grateful for what you do have .xx

Thank you all so much, such kindness. May I share this with you because other mothers may have or may have to face a similar experience. I was devasted when my daughter said such cruel things to me and about me. Have discussed it with a psychologist friend , seems it is quite usual for someone with my daughters illnesses to cope with what they feel and hate about themselves to remain in denial and transfer what they cannot cope with onto someone they are closest to, usually a parent.

This has helped heal the hurt. B

Burial? Younger daughter bought a burial plot years ago here, when she emigrated to England , very close to ny husbands grave, as she put it - I will be able to tickle your toes Mum, I had forgotten she had bought it, as I worry my elder daughter would be given a council burial I can choose to be interred with younger daughter and elder daughter with her darling daddy, I bought that plot forty years ago. The four of us will be together , each child with a parent .

Now I have to concentrate on recovering from this eating disorder, get my energy back, fed up of bed rest .

Again, thank you for pulling me through the blackness of last Sunday x

Annie, I found this on the back of a photograph that my mother had sent to my father. I guess it was returned to her with his effects after he was killed. I find it strangely comforting and hope you might too.

Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing, save the limit of our sight.

Thinking of you with concern in this difficult time.

Very moving and thought provoking nigglie, all good wishes annie, hope you are feeling a bit better today.

niggly, how kind to share that, I know what it means to you and can imagine what it meant to your mother x

Bless you annie and I do hope you feel more at peace very soon.
Thinking of you. x

Hope you are feeling better today Anniebach the sun is shinning!

Nigglynellie what a lovely thing to share, your poor mum, and dad

Thank you yogagirl, that's really kind of you.

Annie what more can I add that hasn't already been said by so many on here - and perhaps that in itself has helped.

Your posts touched me, it was so straight from the heart (((hugs)))

Anya, I know no other way to express myself, must be the Welsh blood . Waiting for blood tests results , still exhausted , hey ho , must climb back x

So sorry about your DD Annie being a parent for life isn't always easy when such tragic circumstances rear up.?
However, you know that you have been a good Mother, and that your DD has an illness.It still hurts of course.
Take care.x

I miss her so much lemon I ache

Your love for your daughter shines through your sorrow annie. I can only hope that one day she regains health and you can be close to her again. Stay strong, there are many who care for you, please also care for yourself.